# 3 Things You'll Never Do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082 "2004-12-10T05:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/61 "2004-12-10T21:58:54Z")
> [@bob\_loblaw](#): > > 1 – commit ritual suicide > 2 – get married > 3 – go to the bottom of the marianas trench for twenty minutes Oh, c’mon…not even once??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/62 "2004-12-10T22:30:56Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > Ummm…what other bodily fluids…is there a cerebrospinal fluid fetish? Just hedging my bets. And I don’t consider breast milk unusual . . . ---
**Author:** ![woodstock989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@woodstock989](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstock989)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/63 "2004-12-10T22:32:39Z")
1. Take drugs (illegal ones…booze _is_ legal) 2. Unprotected sex outside of a monogamous relationship. 3. Eat tomatoes (bleeecchhhh!) ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/64 "2004-12-10T22:36:16Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > Does herbal mean plant-derived? If so, you certainly have left your options open! Well, I was thinking more along the line of medicinal marijuana . . . just in case I got glaucoma or something. With the exception of that sort of scenario, forget it. No drugs for me! ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/65 "2004-12-10T22:44:46Z")
I will never: - Use crack, cocaine, or heroin. - Intentionally hurt an animal. I might hurt a person, though. - I can’t think of anything else. It’s the same with TMI threads: I can’t go “eww” about anything and _really, REALLY_ mean it. For me, nothing is really that eww, or really _that_ taboo, when I think about it. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/66 "2004-12-10T22:58:17Z")
I will never try heroin. betray my husband. Have more children. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/67 "2004-12-10T23:36:47Z")
I’ll never be named the Grand High Emperor and Worshipful Exalted Potentate of Canada. Not that they’ve offered, but I don’t like cold climates, so I’d have to decline it, unless I could rule from someplace warmer. I’ll never set myself on fire while playing a trombone and dancing in Central Park while wearing a Quick Draw McGraw costume. I’ll never become a millionaire playing Jepoardy. I’d get to the final round and the clue would be something like: This third word ending in -gry has driven people batshit for centuries. I’d have bet it all and end up broke in the gutter with nothing to show but a home game edition. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/68 "2004-12-10T23:46:53Z")
1. Sing, either professionally or otherwise. (much to my chagrin, I am incapable of carrying a tune if it was in a bucket with handles on ☹ ) 2. Illegal drugs. 3. Willingly wear pink. Or chartreuse. Or yellow. Or orange. Or baby blue. Or… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/69 "2004-12-10T23:49:33Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > 1. Sing, either professionally or otherwise. (much to my chagrin, I am incapable of carrying a tune if it was in a bucket with handles on ☹ ) > 2. Illegal drugs. > 3. Willingly wear pink. Or chartreuse. Or yellow. Or orange. Or baby blue. Or… 😃 :smack: Nuts. Hit Submit and THEN remembered what I really wanted to add. Extra credit: Never say ‘Hastur’ three times. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/70 "2004-12-11T00:00:08Z")
1. Knowingly do anything I consider evil with evil intent. 2. see 1. 3. see 2. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/71 "2004-12-11T01:40:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Eat authentic East Asian food without first asking what’s in it. I don’t get this one. Then again I don’t think I’ve ever tried what could be classified as authentic East Asian food? ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/72 "2004-12-11T01:47:01Z")
[quoteWhat’s wrong with breast milk??[/quote] Huh. Really? :o 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/73 "2004-12-11T02:05:44Z")
Commit suicide. Do any types of illegal drugs. Smoke. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/74 "2004-12-11T02:50:56Z")
1.) Give up, or surrender 2.) Give a poem as an attempt to get with a girl 3.) Touch another guy’s penis ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/75 "2004-12-11T02:53:42Z")
The three people who have never been in my kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/76 "2004-12-11T03:11:39Z")
1. Use drugs (which, for me, includes alcohol & tobacco) 2. Masturbate with 80 grit sandpaper 3. Purposely kill someone ---
**Author:** ![TastesLikeBurning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@TastesLikeBurning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TastesLikeBurning)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/77 "2004-12-11T03:55:24Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > 3 things I’ll never do: > > Willingly put my penis in a meat grinder. > > Rape > > Feltch myself So as long as it’s somebody other than yourself, felching is cool right? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/78 "2004-12-11T03:58:35Z")
As a recovering addict, I must say that I am baffled by the distinction being made between legal and illegal drugs. As if you can’t get strung out on legal dope… ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/79 "2004-12-11T17:46:10Z")
…or get totally hopped up on ‘herbal’ drugs ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/80 "2004-12-11T18:09:16Z")
1. I will never have children. 2. I will never bungee jump particularly head first.\* 3. I will never let anyone take me for granted or exploit my kindness ever again. \*(I see that cord stretch and think of the same force that are acting on my spine… no, does not strike me as something I want to do to my body. Compression forces, like a hard landing from sky-diving, okay. Tension forces like bungee jumping? Nope. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=5)