# 3 Things You'll Never Do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082 "2004-12-10T05:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/81 "2004-12-11T18:21:52Z")
1. I will never birth another child. 2. I will never let myself go, no matter how old I am. 3. I will never own an SUV or a minivan. Other than that I’m open to skydiving, illegal/legal drugs, anal sex, and all variety of things y’all will never do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/82 "2004-12-11T18:38:31Z")
These are things I probably will not do. 1. Pay for porn. 2. Smoke cigarets 3. Tattle tell willingly ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/83 "2004-12-11T19:01:47Z")
> [@AsecretK](#): > > 1. Never let a man come before my chidren (no, not again I never have and never will let this happen) First hijack - I read this 3 times and I still thought it said chicken. You know, I’ve been debating going shopping with this sinus headache and fever but my inability to differentiate children and chicken tells me I probably shouldn’t be driving. Second hijack - bob\_loblaw welcome, and I love your name. Very creative. As for what I’d never do: 1. get a tattoo on my inner forearm…again. Damn that hurt. Should have gone with something small and on a thicker part of my body. 2. any kind of illegal drug. Never have, never will. herbal or otherwise. The same goes for drink enough to get drunk - also never have, never will. 3. knowingly be mean just for the sake of being mean. ---
**Author:** ![moon\_lit\_night](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@moon\_lit\_night](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moon_lit_night)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/84 "2004-12-11T19:29:37Z")
1. Purposely be cruel to someone or thing that can not defend itself. 2. Rock climbing. I don’t mean the kind with the nice rope attached, I mean the kind where one slip and you can fall to your death. 3. Be on a small boat in the middle of the ocean on purpose. If I am abandoning a sinking ship okay, but otherwise I like to have land in sight. I could add a lot more! ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/85 "2004-12-11T19:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Masturbate with 80 grit sandpaper so _81_ grit is fine with you, right? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/86 "2004-12-11T19:54:54Z")
> [@MSUbulldogs101](#): > > so _81_ grit is fine with you, right? Nah. 220 is great cause it leaves a nice smooth sheen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/87 "2004-12-11T20:23:17Z")
–Never surrender! –Never live a life of peace! –Never die! (I will live forever in Valhalla!) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/88 "2004-12-11T22:58:42Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > **Things I’d never do** > > 1. Flirt with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes, press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance and then refuse to see it through. > > 2. Stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday, and throw my life away on a dream that won’t come true. > > 3. Cry in front of you. I know someone else already beat me to the reference, but I just had to add (with those extraneous ellipses that everyone hates ;))… That I think I love you! Rizz, would you be mine? ~Says faithful **Grease** fanatic faithful (hehehe) since 4evah \< insert giant pounding red cartoon heart and sad puppy dog eyes here \> > [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > 1. I will never have children. > > 2. I will never bungee jump particularly head first.\* > > 3. I will never let anyone take me for granted or exploit my kindness ever again. > > \*(I see that cord stretch and think of the same force that are acting on my spine… no, does not strike me as something I want to do to my body. Compression forces, like a hard landing from sky-diving, okay. Tension forces like bungee jumping? Nope. Listen you! Get outta my brain!! I might need it for a while and you promised to share. 😛 I swear, you named my first two in exactly the correct order, that I planned on posting. and #3 is pretty damn close. What’s goin’ on with us Willis?? :eek: :eek:[ol] [li]Have grandchildren. 😃 Especially since I’ll have foregone the ‘begetting’ bit anyway.[/li][li]Eat any beans willing again. Not even for supposed good luck after New Years Eve. Nope. That’s one of the few good aspects of being an adult.[/li][li]Lose myself in love or believe a liar (both ended up being synonymous and simultaneous – what a painful, degrading, long, God awful freakin’ year).[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/89 "2004-12-11T23:33:08Z")
1.) Hold a gun. 2.) Live in a place that’s really cold. 3.) Continue to propagate inside jokes on a message board long after they have stopped being funny. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/90 "2004-12-12T00:02:31Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Second hijack - bob\_loblaw welcome, and I love your name. Very creative. Okay, I must be mentally deficient because I’ve seen this name commented on at least half a dozen times and still don’t get its signifigance. Someone care to explain? ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/91 "2004-12-12T02:36:50Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Okay, I must be mentally deficient because I’ve seen this name commented on at least half a dozen times and still don’t get its signifigance. Someone care to explain? Say it out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/92 "2004-12-12T02:46:04Z")
Aha. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/93 "2004-12-12T02:57:47Z")
It’s probably a Canadianism as well - Loblaw’s used to be a chain of supermarkets there. Many a person speculated on whether there was anyone in the family saddled with the name Bob. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/94 "2004-12-12T08:47:32Z")
1.) Mind altering-substances. Alcohol tastes like crap to me, and the one time I tried something "herbal,’ (when I was 18 and dating a Bad Influence), it was the funnest coughing fit ever. Anything else, I’m not even willing to consider touching. 2.) Ski. I have no coordination. I can not ice skate, rollerskate, rollerblade, or ski. The former three, I’m willing to try again. My one experience with skiing left me with a mild concussion, and, besides, I hate snow. If I want to go at an unsafe velocity through snow and ice, I will drive on the Northwest Tollway during a blizzard. At least then I’ll have heat. 3.) Draw with any degree of skill. Again, the aforementioned lack of coordination, this time combined with minor difficulties with spatial relations. I’ve tried–a lot–but it’s just not something I’m good at. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/95 "2004-12-12T11:15:50Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > As a recovering addict, I must say that I am baffled by the distinction being made between legal and illegal drugs. As if you can’t get strung out on legal dope… As another recovering addict, I’ve been wondering about the same thing. Legal drugs can be addictive as anything illegal and are just as easy to aquire. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/96 "2004-12-12T20:43:14Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > You make a wonderful Rizzo. One does one’s best. > [@faithfool](#): > > That I think I love you! Rizz, would you be mine? Um…okay, but I’d have to ask my wife first… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/97 "2004-12-12T21:11:29Z")
[sup]For ITR champion[/sup] I will never: 1. Own, fire, or even touch a 1920’s Style Death Ray 2. Use an 18"DHIBJD 3. Say hello to Opal. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/98 "2004-12-12T21:29:21Z")
1. Do hardcore drugs. I really don’t think I’ll ever try anything other than booze. 2. Get in a BDSM relationship. Not IRL at least. and 3. Wear Capris. I HATE them!!! Augh!!! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/99 "2004-12-12T22:35:44Z")
1)Wear a poncho. They’re just UGLY. 2)Sleep with someone other then my SO 3)Try anything illegal harder then pot. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/100 "2004-12-12T23:03:21Z")
I’ll never… 1. Rollerskate in a buffalo herd. 2. Go swimming in a baseball pool. 3. Go fishing in a watermelon patch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=6)