# 3 Things You'll Never Do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082 "2004-12-10T05:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/101 "2004-12-13T00:02:18Z")
1. Change my name to Bruce 2. Win an Olympic gold medal for synchronised swimming 3. Try to smuggle two monkeys on to a plane ---
**Author:** ![ninetypercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@ninetypercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninetypercent)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/102 "2004-12-13T01:41:48Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > As another recovering addict, I’ve been wondering about the same thing. Legal drugs can be addictive as anything illegal and are just as easy to aquire. i can’t think of a single drug worse than alcohol, as far as consequences are concerned… /was wondering the same thing ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/103 "2004-12-13T06:16:54Z")
1. Have a child. I find the overabundance of horrible parents everywhere I go an abomination, and no way in hell am I becoming one. 2. Turn into one of those super-hardcore video game fanatics, _especially_ re. the really big titles, like Halo. I’ve seen some of their discussions, and these folks have long ago crossed the line from “no life” to “criminally insane”. 3. Dial a 900 or 976 number. Look, guys…_it’s a complete ripoff_. There’s _nothing_ from any of these numbers that can’t be had for much cheaper. Having an interest in sex talk or the latest gambling lines doesn’t make you a loser; shelling out $3.50 a freakin’ minute for it does. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/104 "2004-12-13T11:20:23Z")
1. Go out on the pull (I’ve got a man at home). 2. Have any child of irishfella naturally…he has an abnormally large head. 3. Mixing red wine and tequila again…it’s not pretty. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/105 "2004-12-13T15:48:36Z")
I will never 1. Kill someone (on purpose, anyway) 2. Become an evangelical Christian 3. Move to Congo ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/106 "2004-12-13T17:50:22Z")
> [@ninetypercent](#): > > i can’t think of a single drug worse than alcohol, as far as consequences are concerned… I’m glad there are still some rational people in this world. Alcohol, IMO, is one of the worst drugs known to humans and many prescription drugs are just as bad. The “illegal” ones, for the most part, are the safe ones in comparison to alcohol and 'scripts. I think it will still be a while until people stop listening to propaganda. They’ve been feeding it to us for many years now, most people just go along with it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082/107 "2004-12-13T22:47:56Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > One does one’s best.Um…okay, but I’d have to ask my wife first… > > 😛 Damn! All the good Grease wannabes are already taken. Well then, can I borrow your Pink Lady jacket? They’re so hip and shiny and PINK! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-things-youll-never-do/279082.md?page=5)