# 3 weeks to learn a new talent...suggestions? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385 "2013-08-28T08:10:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/41 "2013-09-26T21:18:55Z")
I see that this was just bumped from an update, but should the situation arise for the OP or anyone else, might I suggest twerking? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/42 "2013-09-27T01:19:04Z")
I’m sorry your talent was not showcased. My suggestions might not have gone off well though: Props: Baseball cap hockey stick section of faux grass can of golf balls Video-tape “Hi. I’m here on stage to show a talent that I’ve learned in just 3 weeks. I chose golf. I learned it from this instructional video called…” _hold up and read box slowly_ “…Happy Gilmore. Anyway, here’s how it goes…” Then, as fast as you can, slap-shot as many balls towards the Executive Table as humanly possible before they hustle you off stage. Of course if that isn’t your thing, there is the one where you tell them that you want them all to unanimously vote you “Fire Marshall”, but that requires a lot of prep work, the taping of flash-bangs under certain tables and a lot of hack-saw work on the fire doors. Plus, there’s absolutely no guarantee you’d get the position… ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/43 "2013-09-27T02:31:56Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > … might I suggest twerking? Only if you’re willing to be ignored. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/44 "2013-09-28T21:08:51Z")
If it ever comes up again, might I suggest trick-shooting? Sure to wow them. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/45 "2013-09-28T21:52:08Z")
I like the idea of reciting a well-known Chinese poem (or singing a famous song). But I’d mispronounce a lot of it for comedy effect. Have a native help you with words that are similar to the correct ones, but funny. But exaggerate the mistakes, so they know it’s deliberate. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385/46 "2013-09-29T15:25:10Z")
Tell them that you have just been ordained and you are there to let them know the word of god. Or Og. Or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or Cthulhu. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/3-weeks-to-learn-a-new-talent-suggestions/667385.md?page=2)