# 30 and Unemployable; What happens to them now? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2016, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667 "2016-07-23T11:19:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/41 "2016-07-28T12:40:27Z")
> [@spamforbrains](#): > > In my peer group, it’s quite normal to get laid off every 2 to 5 years, and people then suck their savings dry to keep going until they get next the job. No one accumulates any wealth over time. Retirement? Ha. That’s something, like pensions and polio, that happened in the past. This. I’m incredibly lucky to have a pension from a former employer (I refused to “cash out” the value of the pension and convert to the then-new-and-cool 401ks. I knew the company was not giving us 401ks because they were better for us – I had enough distrust to know that 401ks were better\* for the company\*. I also knew that anything tied to the market would have crashes and lose money regularly, and most likely would not make me as much as a guaranteed monthly payment from an employer beginning at age 65.) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/42 "2016-07-28T12:59:20Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > This sounds like the best option, but I’d be more specific: > “you need a place to stay?–sure I’ll help you! > There’s an apartment complex nearby for only $700…, I’ll go there and get a copy of the contract for you. You can sign it, and return it to me with the first months rent, and then I’ll take the money over to the office, get the key, and set up the kitchen for you, so when you get here, you’ll have a good place to stay.” 🙂 Not sure if you are serious, but I wouldn’t go that far. Because I am afraid the response would be “I haven’t got the money for the first month - how about if I come and stay with you while I look for a job?” Followed by however many months of “I haven’t been able to find any jobs that pay well enough for an apartment” as you will stand. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/43 "2016-07-28T16:15:32Z")
I have a friend very much like **ASGuy’s**. Degree in biology - at one time had an interest in going into medicine. But now she’s 56 and has worked retail and food service her whole adult life. I suggested that she at least try for some office Customer Service job, but she doesn’t want to work in an office. Meanwhile she complains that she makes little, doesn’t get enough hours, and her body is deteriorating. When her mother died she inherited the childhood home she’s continued to live in her whole life. She sleeps in a twin bed in the bedroom that’s still decorated like it was when she was 5. She isn’t happy, but doesn’t make changes to try to make herself happy. But at least she has a roof over her head. God knows how she’ll pay for it when it comes time to replace the roof. StG ---
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/44 "2016-07-28T19:18:52Z")
My wife and I have a friend who essentially fits this category. She is got fired from a job, claimed she was unable to work and was on SSI due to depression, and then eventually moved home to take care of her elderly parents. She has a college degree, but never used it for anything related to her work. As near as I can tell, her trajectory is to inherit the house and savings from the parents while picking up seasonal work and live a very cheap quality of life to keep going. It’s sad because she’s smart and the depression is just a mask for laziness in my opinion, but she seems to be getting by. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/45 "2016-07-28T23:50:48Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > I told my wife it was great that the kids got to meet everyone, but bringing everyone up to date on us \*\*may have turned the Eye of Sauron westward toward the Shire. \*\* Entertaining way to put it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/46 "2016-07-29T01:47:25Z")
Again, these people are not “unemployable” they are '_lazy_". ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/47 "2016-07-29T02:36:33Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > There’s already been one “Gosh and shucks, I bet there’s lots of good jobs out there in Texas and I could probably get a fresh start if there were somewhere to stay” calls, and I’m worried there could be more. My wife pooh-poohs my concerns, but I pointed out with the kids gone we have lots of extra space for freeloaders. And we may have to hurt some feelings keeping our empty nest – empty. Or you could maybe offer to help family and draw up a contract with rent and utilities and other such payments, and try to help them get ahead? ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/48 "2016-07-29T10:56:04Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > “You need a place to stay? There is an apartment complex nearby, rent is only $700 a month, etc.” I like this one. Even better would be to ask what type of phone the ne’er-do-well has (they all seem to have the latest tech). Then inquire if they need a zip code or anything so they use it to find an apartment. Last Christmas, when visits were imminent, I insisted my kids “move” back home (they have their own apartments). I wanted to be sure we appeared as a fully occupied house to any visitors. I (jokingly) said someone had to sit on the sofa the entire time to ensure no would-be couch surfers lift a cushion and discover it’s a fold out. 🙂 > [@DrDeth](#): > > **No one is “un-employable”.** > [@DrDeth](#): > > Again, these people are not “unemployable” they are '_lazy_". You are both correct, but they’re pretty close, due either to drugs or the entitled attitude that certain jobs are beneath them. Last year a relative called in many favors to get a job for one of them, but he failed the drug test during the interview.:rolleyes: > [@Slash1972](#): > > Or you could maybe offer to help family and draw up a contract with rent and utilities and other such payments, and try to help them get ahead? They’ve had ample time to do that where they are. My couch doesn’t possess Magic Ambition Rays that will cause sudden productivity. And allowing a druggie (see above) into my house is a non-starter. Again, I really appreciate all the responses. I think a few of these unemployables are nearing the end of the line, as far as their support goes. At this point, it seems like the economy simply has no use for them, and I was curious where people like this end up. It’ll be interesting to watch (from a distance). ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/49 "2016-07-29T14:45:22Z")
We have a family friend who has crippled her 4 kids as far as independence, jobs, etc., are concerned. Her oldest son is nearing 40. He’s the typical “living in Mom’s basement” sort. He’s never held a job, doesn’t have a driver’s license, doesn’t have a bank account, has never done any of the typical “activities of daily living” save bathing/dressing himself. He spends most of his time playing video games in his bedroom. Her other sons are following in the eldest’s footsteps. Our friend has many mental health/physical issues in addition to her “entitlement” persona in which she blames the world because her stepfather abused her as a teenager. She’s never gotten help for that. She cut ties with her mother years ago because the mother is still married to the stepfather, but it doesn’t stop her from continually asking her mother for $ (mother and stepfather are both retired, btw, and they’re far from well off). When she lived in our area, she’d think of nothing of using my husband as a taxi service since she doesn’t drive. My husband and I came to blows over this because my husband thought of it as helping a friend. She tried doing the same to me. The one time I agreed to it, she and I nearly came to blows because, frankly, I had no patience with her behavior. A few years ago she moved across the country to be closer to her sister and her family. The sister no longer has anything to do with her. My heart still bleeds for her kids, though, and I pray the younger ones will realize what she’s doing and will stand up to her before it’s too late. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/50 "2016-07-29T17:09:23Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > You are both correct, but they’re pretty close, due either to drugs or the entitled attitude that certain jobs are beneath them. Last year a relative called in many favors to get a job for one of them, but he failed the drug test during the interview.:rolleyes: > . “Are there no prisons?, Are there no Workhouses?” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667/51 "2016-07-30T12:06:29Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > This is the part of what’s got me concerned. We aren’t involved with the extended family and are largely ignored out here in the wilds of Tejas. But there was a huge family event recently which our 20-something kids attended (we stayed back to care for a disabled relative so his full-time caregiver could have a week on the beach). Apparently our kids were quite a hit, and really stood out among the Young Felons of Tomorrow in their age group. But now, relatives are starting to notice us as other possibilities for the couch-based Nihilists occupying their den(s). I told my wife it was great that the kids got to meet everyone, but bringing everyone up to date on us may have turned the Eye of Sauron westward toward the Shire. 🙂 > > There’s already been one “Gosh and shucks, I bet there’s lots of good jobs out there in Texas and I could probably get a fresh start if there were somewhere to stay” calls, and I’m worried there could be more. My wife pooh-poohs my concerns, but I pointed out with the kids gone we have lots of extra space for freeloaders. And we may have to hurt some feelings keeping our empty nest – empty. Texas is also in the states with the top 5 poverty rates. I bet there are a lot of deadbeats crashing on people’s couches. If you don’t want people staying at your house, just put your foot down and say no. It’s your house. Deadbeats always have a way to appealing to people’s guilt and emotion so they can take advantage of them. But as another poster point out, they typically don’t have feelings beyond themselves and they certainly don’t care about yours. A couple we are good friends with agreed to let the wife’s young niece stay with them and act as a sort of live-in nanny from time to time. And the wife is a SAHM, so basically all this girl has to do is babysit their 2 year old daughter from time to time when they throw parties. And for that, she gets to live in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan and pretty much do what she wants. So what did she decide she wanted to do? Basically she would disappear for days at a time on alcohol and drug fueled benders, running afoul of the law in various ways. After multiple chances, the husband shipped her back home where she fell in with a group of other fuckups and is now in jail for accessory to armed robbery. This is not someone I have a lot of sympathy for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-and-unemployable-what-happens-to-them-now/760667.md?page=2)