In my 20s I was drifting around, doing crappy jobs, not knowing what I wanted to do etc etc. I’m still drifting, but I’m also a qualified journalist and have published a novel, and have figured out that this is what I want to do. I like drifting. I always thought that once 30 hit, it would be time to settle down, get a ‘proper’ job etc…and then I realised that will never be me no matter what age I am. By 31 I knew who I was and who I wanted to be, and I’ve never been happier. I’m making plans to emigrate to Oz next year too, which would never have happened in my ‘eek what am I doing with my life?’ 20s.
Another vote for no biggie. 30 was the best. I feel old enough to have accumulated some wisdom, and young enough to still be able to actively enjoy life.
I saw a wrinkle on my forehead my 31st year, but I also discovered that I had honestly forgiven a lot of people that hurt me in the past and that I valued the lessons they taught me.
That’s also the year I met my now-husband, and the quality of our relationship would have been impossible in my 20s. I know myself and what I want much better now.
I’m trying to conceive, and at 33 I’m still young enough, but concerned that my body won’t bounce back as quickly, and concerned about what stretch marks will mean when you add them to the grey hairs and nascent wrinkles.
It’s harder to stay in shape, so I try harder. I think this is a theme: you value everything more, and you hang on harder. You live so intensely in your youth, and I see myself as a lot wiser and conscious of how beautiful everything is, and of the real effort it takes. Happy 30!
Although I’m just 32, so far my 30s have been spectacular.
[ul]
[li]I had my son when I was 30. [/li][li]My marriage has been tested by motherhood and so far being parents has only made our marriage stronger (though I’d love more sex, but who wouldn’t?). [/li][li]My friendships with people I promised to keep in touch with are as strong as they were when we met in college and we’re all able to see each others’ kids grow up. [/li][li]I have more laugh lines than frown lines, signs of a life so far happily lived (or that’s what I tell myself so I don’t mind the lines).[/li][li]Even though I’m not in as good a shape, I respect my body and what it could and can do a lot more than I used to - I don’t take it for granted. [/li][li]I’m only occasionally called ma’am. [/li][li]I’m still carded at restaurants (even though I hear they’re required if someone looks like they might be under 30), so I don’t feel old.[/li][li]I’ve quadrupled my salary since I was 28.[/li][li]I’m considered a leading expert in my field. Even though I don’t know everything, it’s nice to be able to make some of the decisions and be the one others turn to for knowledge instead of being the rookie and feeling like I have no control over my life.[/li]Building on the previous, I feel like I have a lot more control over my life than I used to.[/ul]
I have to say, reading this thread is the best thing that has happened today. I definitely feel like I’m starting over at 30, and I love finding out that it’s a pretty darned good time to start over.
Those of you who passed 30 some time ago, your sharp wit and incessant concern for the well being of your lawn make me smile. If I have to be in the over 30 crowd, at least I’m in fantastic company.
This made me giggle out loud. Thank you.
Here’s a picture of my deskthis morning. The little black splotches on my (embarrassingly cluttered) desk are actually little, shiny confetti "30"s and stars.
I was upset when I turned 30. My mother made it all better by saying “So, you’re upset because your age has a 0 in it. You’re getting upset over a zero. You’re literally upset over nothing.”
She denies having said that, but agrees that it was a smart thing to say.
Woo! I’m gonna go ahead and work on growing grass in my front lawn so I’m all ready to yell at the whipper-snappers by 50. And in Phoenix, it just might take 20 years to grow a full lawn.
When my 30th birthday came around last year, I was going through a divorce and getting ready to work on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean. That last part sounds exciting but it was actually quite intimidating, and I didn’t really feel much like traveling at the time.
My point is that it was rough for me too… I don’t think I want kids but I couldn’t believe I was getting divorced, wasn’t rich yet, what had I done with my life, why do I exist… yeah. I went through all that.
However, on the other side of it, having just turned 31, I have to say it’s been pretty great. First of all, being single in your 30s is not what it used to be. Now it’s kind of trendy, and there are a lot more opportunities to meet new people than you would think. Secondly, you just feel like more of a grown-up. Not in the fuddy-duddy way, just… hey, I’m 30 now. I may not be perfect, but my feet are planted firmly in the ground and I am the person I will probably always be. Not that you can’t continue to mature and grow, just that you become (or at least I did) more confident in who you are as a person.
And if that doesn’t work, just tell yourself it’s only a number.
I left my husband 2 weeks before my 30th birthday, and remember thinking “I’m all alone, nobody will ever want me again, I’m too old and I’m used/damaged goods.” That first year of my 30s was tough.
After that? Most of my 30s were AWESOME. I grew into strengths I never knew I had. I learned how to make real friends, and what truly matters to me.
Are you a gay man? 30 is much older in gay years. Being 30 and single as a gay man is like being 50 and single for heterosexual women
Seriously though, 30 is just a number. The trouble is when you either 1) had expectations that certain things would be true by 30 that aren’t true or 2) you are comparing yourself to other 30 year olds who have something that you don’t and want.
30 is much older in gay years. Being 30 and single as a gay man is like being 50 and single for heterosexual women 
