# 30+ years of Saturday Night Live products **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573 "2004-06-10T01:11:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/1 "2004-06-10T01:11:46Z")
I loved SNL’s commercial parodies, such as, **Super Happy Fun Ball** - Do not taunt the super happy fun ball! 😛 **Super Colon Blow** - The product speaks for itself 😛 **Crystal Gravy** - My friend almost threw up when he saw this sketch. Back when the fad was to have everything have some ‘transparent’ variety, they did a spoof of Crystal Pepsi and came up with Crystal Gravy. It shows a family pouring what looks like K-Y jelly all over their potatoes, and one person dipping a turkey leg in it and taking a huge bite! :eek: **Battle Cats** - Man, I wish they had this in real life! Of course my cats would hate me for it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/2 "2004-06-10T01:34:48Z")
I always liked the “Bass-O-Matic” and “Buckwheat’s Greatest Hits”. _“Once…tice…fee times a mady!”_ or _“Wookin pa nub in aw da wong paces!”_ ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/3 "2004-06-10T01:43:10Z")
I’m pretty sure it was SNL that had “Bitch Come Runnin’ Cologne - just one spray and bitch come runnin!” Then there’s the cereal “Quarry” which was made of, well, rocks. I just remember the exchange (roughly) between the mom and kid at the breakfast table, said over loud crunching: Kid: I like Quarry because it’s crunchy. Mom: What, dear? Kid: I like Quarry because it’s crunchy! Mom: _What?_ Kid: I said I LIKE QUARRY BECAUSE IT’S CRUNCHY! ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/4 "2004-06-10T01:44:21Z")
And before I forget… NERF CROTCH BAT! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/5 "2004-06-10T01:47:57Z")
Levi’s Three-Legged Jeans. “Leg and a leg and a leg!” “It’s no dumber than acid wash.” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/6 "2004-06-10T01:48:54Z")
I have to admit, the Schmitt’s Gay Beer commercial was pretty funny. And what was that commercial that Bill Murray did for that bottled water that came from Lake Erie? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/7 "2004-06-10T01:49:42Z")
“Shimmer is a floor wax!” “No, Shimmer is a dessert topping!” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/8 "2004-06-10T01:50:15Z")
I always liked the _Philadelphia_ action figures. “Here comes Andy’s life partner Miguel in his jet-powered battle armor!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/9 "2004-06-10T01:50:46Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I have to admit, the Schmitt’s Gay Beer commercial was pretty funny. And what was that commercial that Bill Murray did for that bottled water that came from Lake Erie? “Swill”? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/10 "2004-06-10T01:51:53Z")
Do the various Mainway products that appeared within sketches count (like Johnny Human Torch) or only stand-alone commercials? Fluckers jam Big Red (Viking figure that sprays red dye everywhere) Mini Chocolate Frosted Donuts (John Belushi’s breakfast of champions) “The Fruiting” (movie trailer parody) Nike Pump-up Turkey (pump…pump the bird!) I can’t remember some of the product names but I remember the commercials…the thick bottled water from Lake Erie, the gay beer, the change bank… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/11 "2004-06-10T01:52:07Z")
My favorites were: **Oops! I Crapped My Pants** and **Scmitz Gay**. ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/12 "2004-06-10T01:54:25Z")
Adobe! The car made of clay. Bleu cheese flavored wine coolers. Gaystrogen ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/13 "2004-06-10T01:55:31Z")
Oh, and the First National Change Bank ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/14 "2004-06-10T02:02:04Z")
“Ass Don’t Smell” ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/15 "2004-06-10T02:03:20Z")
Rather than name something everyone remembers, I’d like a little help with something I saw just once and it was funny as Hell. It began as a typical Ronco™ commercial “Has this ever happened to you?” - Then it goes on to describe things that couldn’t possibly have happened to anyone: “Has Tony Orlando shown up at your door and offered to rearrange your furniture? Have small animals been charging _their_ long distance calls to _your_ telephone bill?” I’d say this was from 1982 or 1983. I wish I could remember more of it because it was damned funny. Just read those 2 sentences and you’ve got to admit it was incredibly goofy. And yes I am positive it was a Sturday Night Live commercial parody. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/16 "2004-06-10T02:08:07Z")
“Spud Beer” The Smuckers Jam parody in which each subsequent name was worse than the last: “Painful Rectal Itch”. With a name like that you KNOW that’s good jam. John Belushi: “10,000 Nuns and Orphans” Others: “That’s not so bad.” John: “Who were eaten by rats.” ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/17 "2004-06-10T02:11:18Z")
When I was little, I saw the Big Red viking toy commercial on TV and I thought it was a real product. I had a couple nightmares about it. One of the commercials that always stuck out in my mind was the law firm one with Tracey Morgan and Tim Meadows. “We didn’t spend 4 years in law school just so some bitch could take your money!” “Damn!” “DAMN!” The Ass-Master 4000 copy machine. I don’t remember what it was called, but it had a contoured butt shape so you could easily make copies of your own rear–no more blurry copies. Meanwhile Vivaldi’s “Spring” is playing in the background. And of course Petchow Rat Poison. “Rats love those big meaty chunks!..This rat poison could easily kill an animal ten times the size of a rat!..You’ll know it’s Petchow brand because it has a picture of ole Shep [a malamute] here on the cover!” I’m sure there are others that I love that I can’t think of right now. I’ll be back. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/18 "2004-06-10T02:15:26Z")
I just remembered some more. Shirt-in-a-can. Tim Meadows spills a slice of blueberry pie all over his dress shirt, but doesn’t have time on his lunch break to go home and change. Someone hands him shirt-in-a-can or whatever it was called, and he begins taking off his shirt. The voice-over guy says, “Hey, you’ve got a great build. Do you work out?” So then Tim starts spraying the shirt-in-a-can all over his torso and yells in pain. The voice-over says, “The painful burning is normal.” Shirt-in-a-can also comes in four varieties: long-sleeved, golf, dress, and tank top. Shredder meals. Shredded iceburg lettuce and mayo. “I’m a big man, and I need a big shredder!” ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/19 "2004-06-10T02:26:48Z")
Doggy Downers and Puppy Uppers Jewess Jeans Harley’s Bristol Cream ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/20 "2004-06-10T02:40:56Z")
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