# 30+ years of Saturday Night Live products **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573 "2004-06-10T01:11:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/21 "2004-06-10T02:41:18Z")
THere was that one that dissolved escess fingers and toes (Finger-Be-Gone and Toe-Be-Gone?) **Obsession** perfume, **Pampers Thong** , and what was that luxury car that looked like a junked-out piece of crap? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/22 "2004-06-10T02:44:00Z")
Cookie Dough Sport! ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/23 "2004-06-10T02:52:42Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > **Oops! I Crapped My Pants** “Let’s pretend this jug of iced tea is a gallon of your feces…” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/24 "2004-06-10T03:30:37Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > and what was that luxury car that looked like a junked-out piece of crap? The Chameleon 2000, I believe. They might tow it away, but they’ll never steal it. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/25 "2004-06-10T03:37:31Z")
It was not one of their spoof products in the strictest sense, but my favorite SNL faux item was one of those outrageously dangerous goods sold by a sleezeball toy manufacturer played by Dan Ackroyd\*: **Bag o’ Glass**. “It’s a science toy!” - Mr. Janeway, I think (???) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/26 "2004-06-10T03:38:23Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > “Swill”? That’s it. Seeing him pour it out over ice with a bottle cap and a dirty syringe cracked me up. “I like mine with a twist!” ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/27 "2004-06-10T03:47:03Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > It was not one of their spoof products in the strictest sense, but my favorite SNL faux item was one of those outrageously dangerous goods sold by a sleezeball toy manufacturer played by Dan Ackroyd\*: **Bag o’ Glass**. > > “It’s a science toy!” > > - Mr. Janeway, I think (???) Janeway is the captain of Voyager. 🙂 Someone else got it right with Mainway, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/28 "2004-06-10T03:47:48Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > It was not one of their spoof products in the strictest sense, but my favorite SNL faux item was one of those outrageously dangerous goods sold by a sleezeball toy manufacturer played by Dan Ackroyd\*: **Bag o’ Glass**. > > “It’s a science toy!” > > - Mr. Janeway, I think (???) I’m pretty sure it’s MAINWAY. I’m really beginning to think I’m invisible… Was the perfume Obsession? That’s the real product, isn’t it? Wasn’t the gag product Compulsion? “A little club soda will get that stain out.” “LIAR!” “Between cleanliness and godliness, there is Compulsion.” ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/29 "2004-06-10T03:58:32Z")
My favorite is one from the first or second season. It was for, get this, _ **a triple-bladed razor!!!** _ Can you imagine something so ridiculous?!! The tag line was: **"Because you’ll believe anything…"** Not too long ago they sort of spoofed their earlier spoof (for obvious reasons) by doing an ad for a 14-bladed one! ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/30 "2004-06-10T04:33:13Z")
\*\*Homocil Teeny-Weenies! Bathroom Monkey\*\* What was the name of the toy commercial for something like **Big Red**? “You pour the blood in the helmet!” It was like an Eric the Viking doll that spun blood out its horns. There was another one for a floor cleaning product that Molloy Shannon was in. She talked about the cleaner and drifted into talking about sleeping with rock stars or something, and then how she ended up with her husband. Help? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/31 "2004-06-10T04:53:11Z")
Oh, Bathroom monkey was a good one! Available in Red, Blue, or Orangutan! (WARNING! Orangutan does not wear pants!) Was anyone else rather disturbed in the part where they said, “And when your bathroom monkey ceases its uselessness, simply throw it away and buy a new one” and it shows the woman throwing a bag containing a _dead bathroom monkey_ in the garbage can?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/32 "2004-06-10T05:05:15Z")
Canis, perfume for dogs. Folgers crystals (real product, but spoof of their usual commercial) - thick enough, rich enough to replace human blood. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/33 "2004-06-10T05:53:22Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I’m really beginning to think I’m invisible… Who said that? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/34 "2004-06-10T06:23:17Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Big Red (Viking figure that sprays red dye everywhere) > [@saramamalana](#): > > What was the name of the toy commercial for something like Big Red? “You pour the blood in the helmet!” It was like an Eric the Viking doll that spun blood out its horns. \ ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/35 "2004-06-10T06:24:27Z")
> [@saramamalana](#): > > There was another one for a floor cleaning product that Molloy Shannon was in. She talked about the cleaner and drifted into talking about sleeping with rock stars or something, and then how she ended up with her husband. Help? [Lemon Glow](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97clemonglow.phtml). ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/36 "2004-06-10T06:26:09Z")
Mom Jeans. Classic Kotex. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/37 "2004-06-10T06:33:56Z")
> [@AwSnappity](#): > > The Ass-Master 4000 copy machine. I don’t remember what it was called, but it had a contoured butt shape so you could easily make copies of your own rear–no more blurry copies. Meanwhile Vivaldi’s “Spring” is playing in the background. I think it was the AssJet (maybe 4000). The one with Roseanne and Phil Hartman spoofing a credit card… I can’t remember many of the details now, just that he was going on about how helpful she was and she kept insulting him and all of their customers. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/38 "2004-06-10T06:35:49Z")
I like the product that you use when your toilet is full of … _ **SEWER RATS!!!** _ It doesn’t kill them, it just puts them to sleep. Oh, and the roach trap that immobilizes the roaches, burns their asses then rips off all of their legs and smacks them over the head with them. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/39 "2004-06-10T07:19:25Z")
**Old Glory Insurance** - Protecting you in the event of a robot attack **The Bass-O-Matic** - “Mmm, that’s good bass!” And if info-mercials count, there is **Jimmy Tango’s Fat Busters** - Ride The Snake! ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/40 "2004-06-10T11:06:57Z")
> [@saramamalana](#): > > “Bitch Come Runnin’ Cologne - just one spray and bitch come runnin!” A good companion piece to **Hey, You!** , _The perfume for one night stands_. > [@Otto](#): > > Wasn’t the gag product Compulsion? > > “A little club soda will get that stain out.” “LIAR!” > “Between cleanliness and godliness, there is Compulsion.” I have to enter my vote for this one as one of the all time best. A great concept, beautifully shot, perfectly paced, and brilliantly performed. **Jan Hooks** was one on the most talented performers ever on that show. WHY ISN’T SHE GETTING MORE WORK??? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573.md?page=3)