# 30+ years of Saturday Night Live products **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573 "2004-06-10T01:11:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/61 "2004-06-10T22:17:00Z")
IIRC the Okra Cola sketch was from Carol Burnett. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/62 "2004-06-10T22:21:01Z")
The **Navy Adventure** It’s not just a job it’s $96.78 per week. See your recruiter. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/63 "2004-06-11T02:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > IIRC the Okra Cola sketch was from Carol Burnett. No, this was on a Steve Martin TV special from the early 80s. It featured a big musical number at the end (and I think Paul Reubens, aka Pee-Wee Herman). ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/64 "2004-06-11T03:57:16Z")
I’m so bad at remembering names…How about that exercise machine where you dance? They had the watutsi, the swim, etc. There was a whole elabroate thing that you strap yourself into. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/65 "2004-06-11T04:10:06Z")
> [@saramamalana](#): > > What was the name of the toy commercial for something like **Big Red**? I think it was called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.” Anyone mention Ballz-Off yet? Now in Italian strength! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/66 "2004-06-11T04:12:35Z")
Just remembered another one. During Martin Short’s tenure, he occasionally played an extremely sweaty attorney. In one episode (hosted by Alex Karris), the sweat is used as the special ingredient in “Brow Beer”. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/67 "2004-06-11T04:56:27Z")
Ethnically correct toilet paper. Because a black man shouldn’t show up to work with white toilet paper stuck to his razor cuts. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/68 "2004-06-11T08:18:19Z")
I can’t remember the product name, but there was an ad for an apartment window-mounted particle beam weapon that automatically homed in on and vaporized cars whose alarms went off for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/69 "2004-06-11T15:25:24Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > But y’all missed “F’ed Up Malt Liquor.” The one where an actual fist came out of the can and punched you in the face, lol. That was _Cold Cock Malt Liquor_. Not to be confused with other SNL fo-dogs like _A.M. Ale_ and _Long Leak_. “A.M. Ale - for when you can’t wait 'til afternoon” “There’s only one malt liquor that’ll get your head hummin’. Cold Cock’s the one that you never see comin’!” “Long Leak Malt Liquor - yo, don’t drink the whole thing!” “F’ed Up Malt Liquor - the F stands for FIRE!” ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/70 "2004-06-11T15:37:46Z")
I’ve always been a big fan of the _Bass-O-Matic_ and Eddie Murphy’s _Galactic Prophylactic_ (which I didn’t see mentioned, but I’ll admit I skimmed 🙂 ), but nothing I’ve ever seen on SNL has made me laugh harder than that adorable little thing with the words “MONKEY HATE CLEAN” written in lipstick on the wall behind him. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/71 "2004-06-11T16:05:14Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I’m pretty sure it’s MAINWAY. > > I’m really beginning to think I’m invisible… MAIMWAY! with an “m” in the middle. Because the dangerous toy could _maim_ a person. Get it? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/72 "2004-06-11T16:15:36Z")
Nope. It’s Mainway, with an N. Irwin Mainway. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/73 "2004-06-11T16:34:40Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Oh, and the roach trap that immobilizes the roaches, burns their asses then rips off all of their legs and smacks them over the head with them. “and a heated metal coil sears his reproductive organs. Then wads of turnpentine soaked cotton are placed there and in his mouth while a piece of tantalizing food is dangled just out of reach. None of these will exactly kill the roach but they will give him plenty to think about.” When I read the OP the first things I thought were “Swill” (tho I couldn’t remember the name), Big Red, the Roach trap, and Bathroom Monkey. But I also dearly love the Philadelphia action figures, Battle Cats and, I think I’m the first to mention… BIG BRAWN Feminine Napkins (“like a big friendly lumberjack between your knees”.) ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/74 "2004-06-11T16:37:09Z")
How about **Einstein Express** , the delivery service that could send packages backwards in time? the commercial ends with Kevin Nealon holding up a package of birth control pills and saying “I need to get these to my girlfriend 6 weeks ago”. Man, anyone who invented that service would be the world’s first trillionaire in pretty short order. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/75 "2004-06-11T17:48:19Z")
What?!? No one has mentioned the David Spade skit with the phone company?! “OK, we’ll even kill your boss!!” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/76 "2004-06-11T17:54:23Z")
I’m blanking on the names of both of these (hey, it’s finals week; cut me some slack), but two of my more recent favorites are the anti-perspirant that has testerone in it, and thus makes its users violent and caveman-esque. It had great shots of Tim Meadows and Chris Kattan with yellow animal eyes, hunting down and killing prey (whether it be a deer or a pitcher). The other was Will Ferrell in an exercise-gizmo ad, something like BioUnit 3000. You open the box, and this caveman pops out and attacks you. The ad featured cut-away shots of all the muscle groups that get worked out, and featured a series of shots of a wrestling match that pretty much destroys the guy’s house. Huh. Two cavemen in one post. I guess I have a thing for primitive humans. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/77 "2004-06-11T17:59:34Z")
> [@Flander](#): > > What?!? No one has mentioned the David Spade skit with the phone company?! [So I’m not the only invisible man in this thread after all](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4950652&postcount=43). ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/78 "2004-06-11T18:00:45Z")
What? Noone has said anything about the **Amazin’ Lazer!** “Amazin Lazer may be used for evil or godd. Please only use Amazin Lazer for good.” “On second thought, please don’t buy Amazin Lazer at all.” ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/79 "2004-06-11T18:34:16Z")
Hmm…most of my faves have already been hit…and hit again… Anyone recall the name of the semi-creepy commerical for the pills that make women all Stepford-y? Or the travellers cheques that employ mercenaries to track down theives and kill their families? ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573/80 "2004-06-11T18:47:43Z")
And who can forget Alec Baldwin and his **“Schweaty Balls”**? Or **The Love Toilet**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/30-years-of-saturday-night-live-products/249573.md?page=5)