# 31 jokes for nerds **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769 "2011-04-26T14:31:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/21 "2011-04-27T00:59:23Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Perfectly annoying as fuck, perhaps. Dude needs to pop a couple Xanax. I couldn’t enjoy the jokes because he was so distracting. No, he is just a real nerd with good timing and energy. I have met a few of them. It is vastly superior to the usual alternative. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/22 "2011-04-27T01:44:05Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Two of my faves that I tell IRL: > > René Descartes was in a tavern near closing time. The bartender said, ‘Mr. Descartes, would you like one for the road?’ Descartes says, ‘I think not…’ and suddenly vanishes! Another casualty of applied metaphysics. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/23 "2011-04-27T02:20:37Z")
I thought the leg one was great 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/24 "2011-04-27T02:38:24Z")
:: stomach hurts from laughing :: _That_ one went up on my Facebook page right quick… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/25 "2011-04-27T02:48:02Z")
> [@Tahssa](#): > > I’ve heard most of those before but one of the ones I didn’t and thought was funny was the Higgs-Boson particle going to church. I liked that one as well. And while I knew that Higgs Boson particle was the god particle, if it wasn’t for recent events and a thread here about it, I wouldn’t have caught the second part of the joke “If you don’t allow the higgs boson, how do you have mass” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/26 "2011-04-27T02:49:51Z")
I would have changed the ending from “if you didn’t get one of the jokes, just let me know in the comments section and someone will come along to explain it” to “if you didn’t get one of the jokes, let me know in the comments section and someone will come along and tell you you’re gay” ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/27 "2011-04-27T03:32:17Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > It sounds like he’s copying the dude from Ask A Ninja mannerism for mannerism. And he does a good job of it, for awhile I thought they were the same guy. My favorite: “We’re both penetrating your mom.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/28 "2011-04-27T06:11:44Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > It sounds like he’s copying the dude from Ask A Ninja mannerism for mannerism. That’s the going style, along with talking so fast that you really have to concentrate not to miss something (or even have to rewind the video.) Unfortunately, I think he took the last thing too far. Philip Defranco or Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation do it right. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/29 "2011-04-27T07:28:47Z")
I only had to watch a few seconds to see that I’d find a transcript funnier than the actual video. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/30 "2011-04-29T13:24:24Z")
Okay, about the leg joke: is this because the relatively small number of one-legged and legless people will result in an average of slightly less than two? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/31 "2011-04-29T14:20:21Z")
Loved the glass half full/half empty jokes. I have engineers in my family. Boy did I get that one. And the dude is totally hawt. Nothing sexier than a proud nerd. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/32 "2011-04-29T15:39:45Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > Okay, about the leg joke: is this because the relatively small number of one-legged and legless people will result in an average of slightly less than two? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/33 "2011-04-29T16:45:49Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > Okay, about the leg joke: is this because the relatively small number of one-legged and legless people will result in an average of slightly less than two? Yup. That was my favorite of the bunch. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/34 "2011-04-29T23:00:09Z")
My kids (ages 6 and 8) love knock-knock jokes. I think I’ll try the one from the video on them, and see if they get it. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/35 "2011-05-08T16:26:18Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Ugh. Those jokes would have been a lot funnier if his delivery style wasn’t so over-the-top-and-trying-too-hard. Yeah. He was really grating. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/36 "2011-05-08T16:43:12Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > Okay, about the leg joke: is this because the relatively small number of one-legged and legless people will result in an average of slightly less than two? AFAIK, there are no 3 or 4-legged people to throw the average the other way, so yes. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/37 "2011-05-08T16:54:23Z")
> [@FlightlessBird](#): > > “The majority of people have an above average number of legs.” > Not funny haha, but funny hmmm. Another way to put that would be: “The average person has less than 2 legs.” Does that make it funnier? ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/38 "2011-05-08T17:04:11Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > Okay, about the leg joke: is this because the relatively small number of one-legged and legless people will result in an average of slightly less than two? Nerd nitpick: “average” could imply one of three kinds: “mean”, “mode” or “median”. The joke only works if you take it to signify “mean” or “median”. The “mode” for number of legs would simply be “two”. Nerd note: I had to struggle in that previous sentence to find synonyms for the verb “to mean” (“signify”, “imply”), otherwise it would have been even more confusing. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/39 "2011-05-08T18:18:49Z")
> [@DarrenS](#): > > Nerd nitpick: “average” could imply one of three kinds: “mean”, “mode” or “median”. The joke only works if you take it to signify “mean” or “median”. The “mode” for number of legs would simply be “two”. It doesn’t work for median, either. It only works for mean (arithmetic average). It’s actually a good illustration of the different kinds of averaging. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769/40 "2011-05-08T19:00:49Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > Nerds have parties? Can I get an e-vite? Of course we have parties. With lots of pies. I sure hope no BAD people show up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/31-jokes-for-nerds/579769.md?page=3)