# 33 substances that come out of a human body **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 26, 2006, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945 "2006-10-26T05:27:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tim\_from\_Sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@Tim\_from\_Sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_from_Sylmar)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/41 "2006-10-27T04:46:08Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] Assuming you’re referring to [_The Golden Globe_](http://www.varley.net/Pages/Books/Golden_Globe.htm) by John Varley, the originators of the list, Sparky and Polly, specifically stated that snot and boogers are two different substances. Remember to approach the list from the point of view of 2 precocious 10 year olds. As you may able to tell from my post, I take issue with your description of the novel as “forgettable”. How can you forget the Charonese Mafia? [/QUOTE] That’s the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren’t Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/42 "2006-10-27T14:07:09Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] On preview I see that our clever **muldoonthief** has found the novel – **muldoonthief** , do you want to tell our OP what substances he has wrong and what substances he is missing? [/QUOTE] In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like: “Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here’s a hint - babies don’t count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of _Sparky and his Gang_!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna.” The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I’ll have to check it tonight. [QUOTE=Tim from Sylmar] That’s the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren’t Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me. [/QUOTE] By the end of the show, they were in their 20’s or maybe early 30’s, but still looked like 8 year olds. But they were making the list very early on in the show’s run, before Sparky has wrested control & ownership of the show away from Peppy, so he was still around 10. Mind, he was a 10 year old who had memorized all of Shakespeare’s plays, so he wasn’t quite your average child. BTW, I’m sure John Varley would be amused this is still being debated 15 years later by a bunch of adults, including some physicians and a forensic pathologist (that’s what you are, aren’t you **gabriela**? If I got that wrong, no offense intended, and my sincere apologies). I’ve emailed him a link to the thread. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/43 "2006-10-27T14:25:04Z")
Well after I’ve come into a human body I then come out of it. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/44 "2006-10-27T15:00:25Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] This short off-the-top-of-my-head list gives us an additional 36. I’m sure **irishgirl** or **Qadgop the Mercotan** could come up with many many more if somebody would bring pie as a reward. [/QUOTE] Pie?!? Who can think of pie at a time like this. _hurk_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/45 "2006-10-27T15:18:59Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like: “Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here’s a hint - babies don’t count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of _Sparky and his Gang_!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna.” The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I’ll have to check it tonight. [/QUOTE] It’s worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/46 "2006-10-27T15:26:15Z")
[QUOTE=Brain Wreck] It’s worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar. [/QUOTE] Don’t go by my “quote” - it’s purely from memory. I’ll post the actual text from the novel tonight. ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/47 "2006-10-27T16:19:22Z")
> [@](#): > > 33 substances that come out of a human body How about OTHER human bodies? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/48 "2006-10-27T21:27:06Z")
Well, I’ve got the book in front of me now, and it’s actually 36 things. Here’s some quotes: > [@](#): > > “No, really,” Sparky says. “We’ve made a list of thirty-five things that can come out of the human body. Without, you know, surgery.” > > “Only it may be thirty-six,” Polly says. > > “If boogers and snot are different things. See, we decided plaque, tartar, and calculus are different. But toenails and fingernails are the same.” > > “We’re not counting babies,” Polly adds. “And eight of the things are different kinds of hair.” > > “There wasn’t a very good definition of snot in the dictionary.” > > “Or boogers.” A few pages later: > [@](#): > > CONTEST!!! > > Hey gang! Can you think of 36 things that come out of the human body? That’s how many things Sparky and Polly used when they created Armageddon Angry, the newest kid on _Sparky and His Gang_! Well, if you can, have we got a contest for you! Sparky and Polly want to treat you to a seven-day, all-expenses-paid stay at Dreamland! Your parents, too, and your whole family! While you’re at Dreamland you’ll have breakfast with Sparky and Polly and some surprise guests! You’ll rida all the coolest new rides! To enter, simply write the 36 things on an official entry form. > > We’ll even give you two hints! > > 1. One of the things is EARWAX! > > 2. Babies are _not_ one of the things! > > Send your entry form along with a box top from SUGAR SPARKLERS, “The Cereal Sparky Eats!” to “Sparky, Sentry/Sensational Studios, Mare Vaporum, Luna.” The premise is that Sparky takes the 36 things, and in his lab creates his new friend, Armageddon Angry. Something goes wrong though, and Angry doesn’t have a soul. It’s a great book. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/49 "2006-10-27T21:41:09Z")
What about acetone? I swear I heard that people with certain disorders (maybe even as common as diabetes) produce acetone in their breath. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/50 "2006-10-28T10:54:14Z")
So grateful you dug that out, **muldoonthief** - now we see it’s 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don’t count. Which means **chowder’s** funny line doesn’t count either. But he knew that when he posted it. A quick nod to **muldoonthief, Chronos** , and **OneCentStamp** - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like **elfbabe**. Yeah. And OneCentStamp, I’m disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I’ve had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body. Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/51 "2006-10-28T14:13:37Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body! [/QUOTE] Me! Me! Me! I’ve never been so squicked out by a discussion that I couldn’t eat. I just don’t get that. Let’s see, there’s take-out Chinese, pie, apple cider, cheese, eardrops, eyedrops, syrup of ipecac, anal probes and **Chowder**! Who’s got another? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/52 "2006-10-28T15:53:20Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] So grateful you dug that out, **muldoonthief** - now we see it’s 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don’t count. Which means **chowder’s** funny line doesn’t count either. But he knew that when he posted it. A quick nod to **muldoonthief, Chronos** , and **OneCentStamp** - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like **elfbabe**. Yeah. And OneCentStamp, I’m disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I’ve had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body. Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body! [/QUOTE] Excuse me, I was perfectly serious, I **Do** come out of a human body, female I hasten to add. For shame sir, for shame, thinking I was extracting the urine :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![jvarley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@jvarley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jvarley)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/53 "2006-10-30T00:58:00Z")
I thought I had lost the list, but I found it. I see there can be endless debate, as in “Are boogers and snot the same thing?” and the natures of various puses, hairs, and secretions, but this is Sparky’s definitive list: 1. Head hair 2. Dandruff 3. Eyebrows 4. Tears 5. Sleepy dust 6. Eyelashes 7. Boogers 8. Snot 9. Blood 10. Spit 11. Teeth 12. Vomit 13. Earwax 14 Stuff inside zits 14. Stuff inside blackheads 15. Lungers 16. Bad breath 17. Sweat 18. Milk 19. Bellybutton lint 20. Fingernails 21. Farts 22. Poop 23. Pee 24. Jizz 25. Penis cheese 26. Period blood 27. That slick stuff when you’ve been hard a long time 28. Vaginal slick stuff 29. Placenta 30. When your water breaks 31. Toenails 32. Toe jam I thought I was nuts when I was making this list while writing the book. Nice to see there’s other nuts out there. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/54 "2006-10-30T07:08:41Z")
**jvarley** …and ME!!! Do pay attention ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/55 "2006-10-30T07:12:09Z")
On a more serious note. 1. Heat 2. Sugar 3. Salt 4. Babies 5. Undigested food ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/56 "2006-10-30T15:28:15Z")
For those who may be unaware - jvarley above is John Varley, the author of the book in question. I emailed him last week with a link to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/57 "2006-10-30T15:36:32Z")
Oh, sure, he comes in here like some kind of quote-unquote expert or something, just because he wrote the book! 😃 **muldoonthief** , do you feel a little like Woody Allen in line for a movie now? **jvarley** , I hope you stick around and peruse the rest of the board. We have captivating discussions like this all the time! ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945/58 "2006-10-30T16:06:14Z")
snip [QUOTE=Dr\_Paprika] hernia, belly button lint, fat, fascia, bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, sebum, pus (already given credit), bezoars, bile, gallstone, kidney stone, tumour, melanoma, keratoses, etc. [/QUOTE] /snip Its the thiry three that must be in witchies brew! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/33-substances-that-come-out-of-a-human-body/377945.md?page=2)