# 455 billion dollars! What would you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689 "2003-07-15T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_Mullets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/aeb1de/32.png) [@John\_Mullets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mullets)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689/21 "2003-07-16T06:07:43Z")
I’d tease hobos with hundred dollar bills on strings, force Celine what’s-her-name to eat a huge bowl of curry, buy a golden chainsaw and double-barreled shotgun set, pat Peter Jackson to make more B-grade splatter, pay Quentin Tarantino to make more gangster films, find out a way to bring Stanley Kubric back from the dead and buy a flying house ala “Bad Taste.” ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689/22 "2003-07-16T07:08:51Z")
I’d respond to every sentence someone uttered at me with … I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening, I have 455 BILLION DOLLARS!!! … HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA!!! … WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689/23 "2003-07-16T07:17:03Z")
Set aside two million or so to make me a rentier. Put the rest in a big freaking foundation where basically anyone could apply to get cash. Interesting research? Have a couple of million. Trying to help African kids with HIV? Here’s some cash. Starving third-world country? Eat this. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689/24 "2003-07-16T07:22:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* > \*\*Set aside two million or so to make me a rentier. Put the rest in a big freaking foundation where basically anyone could apply to get cash. Interesting research? Have a couple of million. Trying to help African kids with HIV? Here’s some cash. Starving third-world country? Eat this. \*\* I kinda like **Priceguy** ’s idea, but I’d also want to encourage the less useful things in life. Thus the \ Memorial Center for Cool Stuff. Want to build a [trebuchet](http://trebuchet.com/) to hurl a toilet? Here’s some cash. As long as I get to come see it. Want to build the world’s biggest paintball field, replete with full size tanks that fire giant paintballs and anti-tank paintball missiles? I’ll fund you. As long as I get to play. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689/25 "2003-07-16T07:40:04Z")
Well, a lot of sizable donations to private museums, artists, and whatnot. I’d like to see the Crazy Horse monument finished within my lifetime. I’d probably be financing a few films, too. Like an Anime docudrama of “The Rape of Nanking,” which I’d make sure got a _very wide_ Japanese theatrical release. Nyah. \>:P After awhile, though, my “artistic integrity” would become corrupted, and I’d probably just end up re-hiring the casts and crews of various movies and TV shows, and have them refilm the parts that I didn’t like. (Claudia Christian in Babylon 5’s fifth season, anyone?) Humanitarian stuff? To hell with that…if you don’t fight the _causes_ of third world blight, you’re just throwing water back into the ocean with a teaspoon. So, that in mind, I’d contract with some good mercenary firms, and begin reconquering Africa. Starting from the east, and ending with everything between Algeria, Sierra Leone, and Cameroon. I’d set up a socially progressive, much less corrupt, continental government, and keep it _niiiiiice_ and friendly to the western powers (Except France. Let 'em get their OWN continent), so’s they’d leave me alone. In all fairness, to make the scheme work, I’d probably have to use Weapons of Mass Destruction. A lot. But hey, omlettes and eggs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/455-billion-dollars-what-would-you-do/188689.md?page=1)