# 46 year old man engaged to 21 year old woman, not so unusual, but. . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888 "2007-01-06T01:40:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/21 "2007-01-07T00:08:22Z")
I’m 21 and the thought of being with someone as old as my dad is a little weird. I wonder what we’d have in common and what we’d talk about. I’d also wonder what his intentions were. But, I am an adult and if I wanted to be with an older guy it would be my decision. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/22 "2007-01-07T01:05:19Z")
[QUOTE=picunurse] My husband was born the year I graduated high school. Of course, we didn’t meet until he was 30, but the age difference was much less by then. I was 100% older at age 18, but only 60% older when we met. Now, I’m only 43% older. He’ll pass me eventually, right? 😉 [/QUOTE] Damn math! To the OP: What the hell is wrong with someone being attracted to Power? I think that’s a pretty understandable and healthy thing to be attracted to. Who ever said attraction had to be toward looks and personality alone? It’s not like he was her teacher or boss or doctor or something. He doesn’t have direct supervision or authority over _her_. He just happens to have some clout in the government. Sounds hott to me. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to get passed the wringles and oldness… and the penis. But other than that, I can see what she might be attracted to. And as far as age gaps… meh. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/23 "2007-01-07T01:06:21Z")
And to whomever brought it up: What does it matter how long the relationship lasts? Like same age relationships are so well known for lasting a lifetime :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/24 "2007-01-07T02:16:32Z")
I’m 22. The Tashaboy is 36. We get a lot of crap about it. We’ve been dating two years, have our own place, and balance a budget. I think we’re doing a hell of a lot better than most of the people his age who married people their ages. I don’t see where we get off judging them in any way. It’s honestly none of our business, first of all, and second of all, who cares if he’s that much older than her? You can’t help who you fall for. ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/25 "2007-01-07T02:27:57Z")
Every year as I get older I have less and less problem with vast age differences in relationships. At 21 I might have been icked out. Now I just shrug and carry on. Maybe it’s because I’m reaching the age myself, or something. I will admit a little bit of bias in me against relationships where the woman is significantly older than the man. Which is stupid. It’s how I was raised and how my entire culture views it, but I find the feeling does seem to be fading as my aunt is now married to someone 18 years her junior and I only had a single weak moment where I was unsure and now love him very much. It helps that they’re both wonderful people, of course. In the end, considering how hard it is to find somoene to spend your life with, I wish we were all a little less judgemental on relationships, myself included. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/26 "2007-01-07T02:30:31Z")
Sorry to double-post, but I’ll tell you one more thing. Older men have one chief attraction to younger women - they make us feel safe. I did not have a strong male role model so I know I feel that sort of need in myself. I ended up with not someone who is older but who was much more emotionally mature than myself. (The gap has narrowed considerably and as I grow older I need that kind of feeling less…but it’s still there). Obviously YMMV greatly, but younger men often can’t exude that same sense of responsibility and maturity. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/27 "2007-01-07T03:27:02Z")
[QUOTE=brianjedi] He’s probably not going to win this election either, since state treasurer Jonathan Miller is the front-runner in the race and will beat incumbent Gov. Ernie Fletcher like a drum. [/QUOTE] Gosh I hope you’re right. What’s the age difference between Steve Henry and Heather French Henry? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/28 "2007-01-07T03:32:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course, we didn’t meet until he was 30, but the age difference was much less by then. I was 100% older at age 18, but only 60% older when we met. Now, I’m only 43% older. He’ll pass me eventually, right? Dammit. When I opened this thread I figured it would be all true/false, multiple choice, and essay questions. Nobody told me there’d be word problems. Where’s my calculator? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/29 "2007-01-07T04:24:11Z")
He’s not a Republican, so what’s the problem? Note that they have dated for three years, and also note that her parent’s marriage worked out fine despite her mother also marrying young to a much older man. Different strokes, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/30 "2007-01-07T05:35:47Z")
[QUOTE=tashabot] I don’t see where we get off judging them in any way. It’s honestly none of our business, first of all, and second of all, who cares if he’s that much older than her? You can’t help who you fall for. [/QUOTE] _applause_ ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/31 "2007-01-07T06:28:20Z")
I think the thing that turns it for me is that it’s his first marriage too. For one thing, I presume that she won’t have any near-in-age stepchildren to deal with. For another, as **Rick** said, it’s not like he dumped someone his age for her. Finally, I know several twenty-somethings who are a hell of a lot more mature than I am in my forties! Heck, ther was eighteen years between my own parents and they got in twenty-five years before Dad passed away. They met at 22 and 40. I say go for it! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/32 "2007-01-07T06:36:24Z")
[QUOTE=Bob55] I too think it says something about the 46 year old who is not interested in women his own age. Even now as I get older (29) I find that women near my age are much more attractive than any 18 or even 21 year old could be, that’s just creepy. They’re still kids. [/QUOTE] I agree. FWIW I’m a 47 year old woman. What? Those of us your age are chopped liver? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/33 "2007-01-07T12:33:44Z")
Hey what’s the problem here. I mean Anna Nichole-Smith and whatsisname… ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/34 "2007-01-07T16:17:14Z")
[QUOTE=NicePete] Gosh I hope you’re right. What’s the age difference between Steve Henry and Heather French Henry? [/QUOTE] Heather French Henry is 12 years younger than Steve. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/35 "2007-01-07T20:33:36Z")
I’ve met Dr. Mongiardo a couple of times, and he seems like a nice guy. IIRC, in his US Senate campaign against our junior senator, Bush lapdog Jim Bunning, someone in the Bunning campaign may have been spreading innuendo abour Dr. Mongiardo’s sexual orientation. Perhaps this marriage is an attempt to nip that issue in the bud before the upcoming gubernatorial campaign? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/36 "2007-01-07T21:15:24Z")
Si the ew factor is because this is in Kentucky, so that means it must be her cousin, right? ---
**Author:** ![Common\_Tater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/common_tater/32/13846_2.png) [@Common\_Tater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Common_Tater)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888/37 "2007-01-07T21:19:43Z")
I think it’s more a recent phenomenon that “age appropriate” pairings became the norm. If I recall correctly, at least one US president married a 14-16 year old when he was in his 40’s or so, and had children. Not that there’s anything right with that… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/46-year-old-man-engaged-to-21-year-old-woman-not-so-unusual-but/386888.md?page=1)