# 5% of Americans think sex isn't sex!? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 5, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398 "2010-03-05T12:00:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/1 "2010-03-05T12:00:25Z")
According to [this survey](http://labspaces.net/102344/Study_finds_no_consensus_in_definitions_of__had_sex_), 5% of of people polled (and 23% of the older men) think that penile-vaginal intercourse is not “having sex.” In general, the results are interesting, and I can understand why people (such as Bill Clinton!) might differ as to whether oral and even anal really “count,” but how on Earth can anyone believe that penile-vaginal intercourse is not having sex? What the hell do they think sex is, then? Can anyone shed any light on this? Does anyone here fall into the 5%? Is there some sort of _real sex_ that I have yet to discover? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/2 "2010-03-05T12:05:35Z")
I’d blame the instrument. My guess is that the question was not asked in terms that some old men could understand. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/3 "2010-03-05T12:15:31Z")
Yeah, that is probably the 5% who were left saying “peWHAdeWHA?” ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/4 "2010-03-05T12:29:04Z")
Maybe, but as misunderstandings and misconceptions (or different conceptions) of what constitutes sex were precisely what the researchers were looking for, you would think they would be very careful to make themselves clear. The Kinsey Institute has been doing this sort of thing for a long time. The actual paper is paywalled, but the abstract is [here](http://www.publish.csiro.au/nid/164/paper/SH09068.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/5 "2010-03-05T13:25:59Z")
Don’t forget – when it comes to any poll about sex, you have to factor in the +/- 70% margin of “people are douches who like to give stupid answers on polls”. ---
**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/6 "2010-03-05T13:58:03Z")
“It’s not _really_ sex unless it’s a spiritual and magical connection with someone that truly understands me and loves me as a person…” :dubious: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/7 "2010-03-05T14:18:46Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Yeah, that is probably the 5% who were left saying “peWHAdeWHA?” Yes, it’s probably the 5% that doesn’t understand long Latin words like “penile” and “vaginal”. Perhaps they need pictures and shorter words, like “In this picture of a woman sucking a man’s dick, is that sex?” ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/8 "2010-03-05T14:29:08Z")
It’s only sex when god approves. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/9 "2010-03-05T14:35:14Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > It’s only sex when god approves. Or it’s only sex when I don’t have to pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/10 "2010-03-05T14:37:59Z")
[quote=“Trom, post:6, topic:531398”] “It’s not _really_ sex unless it’s a spiritual and magical connection with someone that truly understands me and loves me as a person…” QUOTE] In all seriousness I would bet this is what the other 5% are thinking. They equate sex to making love to two people who are willingly engaging in it. The probably wouldn’t consider rape as sex. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/11 "2010-03-05T14:48:26Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Yeah, that is probably the 5% who were left saying “peWHAdeWHA?” I now have “Mahna Mahna” stuck in my head with these lyrics instead. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/12 "2010-03-05T14:52:03Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I now have “Mahna Mahna” stuck in my head with these lyrics instead. Thanks. And knowing this, you had to go ahead and **share** that, and spread it to others. Thanks. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/13 "2010-03-05T14:53:26Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > And knowing this, you had to go ahead and **share** that, and spread it to others. Thanks. 😛 Hey, there was a need to know… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/14 "2010-03-05T14:54:13Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > According to [this survey](http://labspaces.net/102344/Study_finds_no_consensus_in_definitions_of__had_sex_), 5% of of people polled (and 23% of the older men) think that penile-vaginal intercourse is not “having sex.” You mean coitus? My first guess is something was odd about the questions in the survey and they misunderstood. If not, maybe there are more clueless old virgins out there than I would have thought. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/15 "2010-03-05T14:58:26Z")
[quote=“Hampshire, post:10, topic:531398”] > [@Trom](#): > > “It’s not _really_ sex unless it’s a spiritual and magical connection with someone that truly understands me and loves me as a person…” > QUOTE] > > In all seriousness I would bet this is what the other 5% are thinking. They equate sex to making love to two people who are willingly engaging in it. > The probably wouldn’t consider rape as sex. Possibly, though I’d expect to see that “pop” among women as opposed to older men. My vote is still with the “white noise” effect–for any given question, a small subset will answer in some totally bizarre way. Probably doesn’t mean anything significant. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/16 "2010-03-05T15:04:20Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > And knowing this, you had to go ahead and **share** that, and spread it to others. Thanks. 😛 What am I gonna do over here, suffer alone? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/17 "2010-03-05T15:09:47Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > …I can understand why people (such as Bill Clinton!) might differ as to whether oral and even anal really “count”… Bill Clinton also said “I didn’t have sex with her, she had sex with me.” Clinton knew perfectly well that it was sex, he’s just a compulsive liar. I saw him last night on a program about baby-boomers that was hosted by Tom Brokaw trying to claim that he was joking and meant it humorously when he said that he tried marijuana but didn’t inhale, and that it has been distorted ever since by people trying to make it look like he was serious, yet anyone who’s ever seen a clip of him saying that knows better. For the record, here’s the direct quote: “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” (I don’t mean this as a hijack but rather to illustrate that Bill Clinton is not among those who genuinely don’t know that oral sex is sex.) ---
**Author:** ![Manwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Manwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manwich)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/18 "2010-03-05T15:15:16Z")
When I worked in market research, the company was always careful not to allow people to say obviously ridiculously things in surveys. The questions and options were designed so people would simply not have the option or so the answer wouldn’t be recorded. The company was serious so they couldn’t afford to look silly - or admit the obvious fact the people say all kinds of crap in surveys. On a personal note, I have always found these questions needlessly complicated. Yes, the definition of “had sex” is vague. But it doesn’t really point to any underlying complication or confusion. I mean, I knew what could get a girl pregnant or transfer an STD from sex education. Why would a health worker ask how many sexual partners someone has had? Ask them how many asses they had fucked or how many times their ass had been fucked, whatever you need to know. I’m with William L. Yarber on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/19 "2010-03-05T15:21:08Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > And knowing this, you had to go ahead and **share** that, and spread it to others. Thanks. 😛 Well, it;s a small world, after all… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398/20 "2010-03-05T15:33:02Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Or it’s only sex when I don’t have to pay for it. It’s only sex when I’m having it. The rest of you freaks … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-of-americans-think-sex-isnt-sex/531398.md?page=2)