# 5 women accuse Louis CK of sexual misconduct **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 9, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152 "2017-11-09T22:27:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/81 "2017-11-10T20:17:34Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …an apology where you don’t actually apologize isn’t a good apology IMHO. All those words and not a single “sorry?” “Sorry” is good in apologies, but ISTM that expressions like “I have been remorseful of my actions” and “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” are pretty clearly implying that he’s sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/82 "2017-11-10T20:21:54Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > “Sorry” is good in apologies, but ISTM that expressions like “I have been remorseful of my actions” and “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” are pretty clearly implying that he’s sorry. Yeah, discounting the apology because he didn’t use one particular 5-letter word seems a bit dodgy. Louis C. K. doesn’t deserve a pass for any of his behaviour, but at least he owned up to it, which is more than can be said for most folks in his position. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/83 "2017-11-10T20:25:46Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/84 "2017-11-10T20:26:24Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > “Sorry” is good in apologies, but ISTM that expressions like “I have been remorseful of my actions” and “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” are pretty clearly implying that he’s sorry. …implying he is sorry isn’t the same as saying “I’m sorry.” “I have been remorseful of my actions” isn’t about his victims, its about him. “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” isn’t saying sorry. Its about “his regret” and “what he can’t wrap his head around.” Its all about him. It was good that he flat-out admitted that everything was true. But that doesn’t make it a good apology IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/85 "2017-11-10T20:26:51Z")
> [@Kron](#): > > Yeah, discounting the apology because he didn’t use one particular 5-letter word seems a bit dodgy. > > Louis C. K. doesn’t deserve a pass for any of his behaviour, but at least he owned up to it, which is more than can be said for most folks in his position. He owned up to it because he had virtually no choice. No gold stars. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/86 "2017-11-10T20:34:33Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > He owned up to it because he had virtually no choice. Eh, he could have stone-walled like Weinstein has done. I’m glad he at least admitted that the accusations were true, it validates the accusers instead of letting them hang in the wind. I’ll grants Louis C.K. at least a shred more dignity than the Weinsteins of the world for coming clean. > [@](#): > > No gold stars. But yeah, I’m not sure anyone in his position deserves a gold star just for doing the right thing. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/87 "2017-11-10T20:35:37Z")
> [@Kron](#): > > Yeah, discounting the apology because he didn’t use one particular 5-letter word seems a bit dodgy. > > Louis C. K. doesn’t deserve a pass for any of his behaviour, but at least he owned up to it, which is more than can be said for most folks in his position. …there is nothing “dodgy” at all about holding the opinion that an apology is disingenuous. He is only “apologizing” now because it would look even worse for him if he didn’t. He could have “apologized” 10 years ago. He could have “apologized” any time in the last few years every time these rumors surfaced. Owning up to it now when the women he harassed are only now living in a climate where they will be actually be believed is barely “better” than what can be said for most folks in his position. It is the very least he could do. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/88 "2017-11-10T20:37:18Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …implying he is sorry isn’t the same as saying “I’m sorry.” “I have been remorseful of my actions” isn’t about his victims, its about him. “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” isn’t saying sorry. Its about “his regret” and “what he can’t wrap his head around.” Its all about him. It was good that he flat-out admitted that everything was true. But that doesn’t make it a good apology IMHO. Pick apart the words if you must, but it comes across to me as sincere contrition. Louis’ scandal is frankly the first one where I really do believe he feels sorry for what he did, and not merely for the injury to his own career. Probably felt like shit at the time, in fact. No, he’s not the victim, and it’s befitting for the truth to come out and for there to be consequences. But as far as responses go, he could do a lot worse. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/89 "2017-11-10T20:37:56Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > That’s a good apology, IMO - one of the better ones by a public figure that I’ve ever seen. Agreed. Especially the part at the end about listening for a change. There really isn’t anything about that apology I could take issue with. He acknowledged why the behavior was wrong, and how it affected the victims and his loved ones. I’m still dying to know how he reconciles that remorse with the message of ‘‘I Love You, Daddy’’ but at any rate I don’t get the sense of a guy in denial or playing to a crowd. I believe that he’s sorry. I hope it results in good things both for his personal growth and some validation for the victims. You know, I can’t speak for other people, but all I ever want out of anybody who does something like this is the basic acknowledgment that it’s wrong, and hurtful, and that they will actively work toward a culture where it’s not acceptable. But getting to the latter point often takes time, it’s too early to tell. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/90 "2017-11-10T20:40:11Z")
Let’s get some perspective here. The guy isn’t a rapist. He asked some women if he could masturbate in front of them. Not a good seduction technique but not a crime either. Why would these women want to destroy the guy’s career over inappropriate remarks? Welcome to Puritan New England. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/91 "2017-11-10T20:43:14Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Let’s get some perspective here. The guy isn’t a rapist. He asked some women if he could masturbate in front of them. Not a good seduction technique but not a crime either. Why would these women want to destroy the guy’s career over inappropriate remarks? Welcome to Puritan New England. Let’s get some more perspective- he has admitted that what he did was wrong, so there really is no need for any defense of his actions, or bemoaning the wreckage of his career- those were HIS actions that damaged his career, not the actions of the women that came forward. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/92 "2017-11-10T20:43:29Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Let’s get some perspective here. The guy isn’t a rapist. This is a recurrent pattern with you in these threads and I really think you need to learn to follow your own advice. That random guy exposing himself on the bus isn’t a rapist either - it doesn’t make what he does tolerable in any way, shape or form. ETA: Fuck Louis C.K.'s career. It may recover, it may not. But he did this to himself. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/93 "2017-11-10T20:46:24Z")
> [@Horatio\_Hellpop](#): > > Somewhere, there is a line between the men who deserve society’s scorn and the ones who maybe don’t, **the ones whose tawdry behavior is maybe no worse than yours or mine**. > > My gut feeling right now is that Louis CK is right on that line. (bolding mine) Considering you said this in another of these recent celebrity scandal threads: > [@Open Secrets in Hollywood: what else is out there?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-secrets-in-hollywood-what-else-is-out-there/798995/90): > > Virtually every adult has something in his or her past that warrants jail time. :dubious: These statements may say something about \*your \*former behavior, but not what is normal. ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/94 "2017-11-10T20:54:44Z")
You have to give it to him - his mea culpa is the best I’ve ever seen for sexual misconduct. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/95 "2017-11-10T20:59:09Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …implying he is sorry isn’t the same as saying “I’m sorry.” “I have been remorseful of my actions” isn’t about his victims, its about him. “The hardest regret to live with is what you’ve done to hurt someone else. And I can hardly wrap my head around the scope of hurt I brought on them” isn’t saying sorry. Its about “his regret” and “what he can’t wrap his head around.” Its all about him. It was good that he flat-out admitted that everything was true. But that doesn’t make it a good apology IMHO. I agree. It’s a confession, not an apology. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/96 "2017-11-10T21:09:06Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Let’s get some perspective here. The guy isn’t a rapist. He asked some women if he could masturbate in front of them. Uh, let’s make sure our perspective includes the fact that the guy also **did** masturbate in front of some women even though they didn’t want him to. And that he then leaned on them to ensure they kept his behavior secret. As well as the fact that in a professional situation, especially one in which you’re admired and influential, even **asking** a co-worker if you can get sexual with them is problematic. How are they supposed to know whether you might try to retaliate against them professionally if they turn you down sexually? What entitles you to put a colleague in that kind of potentially damaging situation just to gratify your stupid boner? ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/97 "2017-11-10T21:09:53Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Pick apart the words if you must, but it comes across to me as sincere contrition. Louis’ scandal is frankly the first one where I really do believe he feels sorry for what he did, and not merely for the injury to his own career. Probably felt like shit at the time, in fact. …if he really felt sorry then he would have said sorry. > [@](#): > > No, he’s not the victim, and it’s befitting for the truth to come out and for there to be consequences. But as far as responses go, he could do a lot worse. “He could have done a lot worse” is such a ridiculously low bar. This was reported two months ago. > **[I Got Shut Down While Trying to Report on the Louis C.K. Rumors](https://www.vice.com/en/article/evbggm/i-got-shut-down-while-trying-to-report-on-the-louis-ck-rumors)** > > A couple of years ago, I traveled to a comedy festival in the hopes of asking comedians like Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, and T.J. Miller what they'd heard about Louis C.K. It did not go well. The industry did everything it could to protect one of its own. Louis CK has done everything he could over the years to hide from the consequences of his actions. This “apology” shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone. This is [crisis PR management](https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesagencycouncil/2017/06/20/13-golden-rules-of-pr-crisis-management/#7378c45d1bcf)101, done to perfection. He couldn’t hide any more. He’s getting ahead of the story, changing the narrative. The very least he could have done was actually say sorry. But he couldn’t even bring himself to do that. If the people he harassed choose to accept this apology then I will stand by their choice 100%. But they are the only people that matter in this story. As far as I am concerned only their opinion counts. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/98 "2017-11-10T21:13:43Z")
**Banquet Bear** and **Tee** (and others who agree with them), if Louis CK now tweets or writes in another public forum something like > [@](#): > > “Many have criticized my letter as insufficient because I did not use the words “I’m sorry” when expressing my regrets for my actions. I’m sorry I wasn’t more clear, so please allow me to be crystal clear now: I am sorry. I am sorry for all the hurt and pain I brought into these lives through my actions.” Would you be satisfied then that it was indeed an apology? ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/99 "2017-11-10T21:17:22Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Let’s get some perspective here. The guy isn’t a rapist. He asked some women if he could masturbate in front of them. Not a good seduction technique but not a crime either. Why would these women want to destroy the guy’s career over inappropriate remarks? Welcome to Puritan New England. The fact that he “asked” doesn’t make it alright. If you were walking down a dark street and a very large, strong man asked “Is it okay if I take all the money you have?”, the fact that he’s asking doesn’t make it okay. And if you replied “yes”, that doesn’t mean you gave consent. In that context, you had a legitimate fear of saying no since there would likely have been reproductions. It’s the same with the women. Even if LCK wouldn’t physically harm them, they know there are many ways he can hurt their career. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152/100 "2017-11-10T21:21:42Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > **Banquet Bear** and **Tee** (and others who agree with them), if Louis CK now tweets or writes in another public forum something like (quote) Would you be satisfied then that it was indeed an apology? I would be. I was impressed by the original statement, it just lacked something important. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/5-women-accuse-louis-ck-of-sexual-misconduct/801152.md?page=6)