# 50 Greatest Straight Dope Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997 "2005-08-28T18:19:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/41 "2005-08-30T04:03:37Z")
I am desperately searching for the one about Bob Jones University and Jesus’ deathmecha… ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/42 "2005-08-30T04:36:10Z")
I was always partial to an oldie [Mother fucking God damnit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=42502&highlight=mother) by Homer. I mean it doesn’t really compare with Euthanist’s or Sampiro’s recent gems, but nothing can temper that bile. Ahhh, Windows Media Player 7. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/43 "2005-08-30T04:39:20Z")
[I am the very model of a modern Libertarian](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=26365) _by **Kimstu** _. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/44 "2005-08-30T05:14:56Z")
Just thought of another one that made me laugh until I couldn’t breath [Gah!!! Spider!!! Spider!!! Spider!!! Spider in my pants!!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=174503&highlight=spider) ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/45 "2005-09-04T09:07:48Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I dunno, what are the available kinds of attention whores? I didn’t know we had to self-categorize! It’s **always** better for us to self categorize. You don’t want some stranger finding a hole for you, _believe_ me. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/46 "2005-09-04T09:46:10Z")
**Pardon My Attention Whoring.** I’m rather proud of my [And the Neurotic Frenchie Wins again](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=282279&highlight=Neurotic+frenchie) which is \*\*BBQ Light: Less Goat Feltching Same Great Taste! \*\* Then there was the thread about …uhhh…kurt cameron’s nipples ? that I remember cracking up about. I had a total moment of brilliance in that post. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/47 "2005-09-04T10:10:57Z")
Well, since we’re self-nominating here, how about the one where, by abusing a beloved hymn, I lament those who don’t flush? A number of other posters made their own parodies of hymns on the same subject. Sadly, I couldn’t find that thread on a search. Anyone know if it’s still available or what happened to it? Or [the one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=201266) where I castigate in poem morons who tailgate (post #26). ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/48 "2005-09-04T12:42:11Z")
Not really a classic, but how many people can say they met their spouses through a Pit [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=82062)? Robin ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997/49 "2005-09-04T13:51:09Z")
> [@edwino](#): > > I was always partial to an oldie > [Mother fucking God damnit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=42502&highlight=mother) by Homer. > > I mean it doesn’t really compare with Euthanist’s or Sampiro’s recent gems, but nothing can temper that bile. Ahhh, Windows Media Player 7. I haven’t laughed out loud like that in a while. But this: > [@Homer](#): > > Apparently, half his modems fucking ring and ring and ring because he’s an stupid piece of shit and couldn’t run an ISP correctly is he grew a fist out of his anus and punched his mother with it. Cracks me up every time I read it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-greatest-straight-dope-rants/318997.md?page=2)