# 50 is not between 30 and 40; or, Get a clue already! Yet another dating rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 29, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612 "2004-01-29T17:33:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/41 "2004-01-30T16:44:34Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by blowero > > I hear you, but you have to understand that it’s tough for us shorties. I’m 5’5, and here’s what’s rough: Almost all of the women 5’5 and over want a man taller than they are. > > So date a women under 5’5! (My boyfriend is 5’5 and I’m 5’2. So it \*is \* possible. 🙂 ) Eh, actually, **Gemma** , I think you missed his next statement here: > [@](#): > > But here’s what really chapped my hide - women who are under 5’5 almost all want tall men too. It’s just absurd; you see ads where the woman is only 5 feet tall but insists that she only date men 5’10 and over. IMHO height’s a poor reason to turn a guy down. If height is a dealbreaker for a woman you’re looking to date, she’s probably not someone you want to hook up with anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/42 "2004-01-30T17:47:38Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > So it seems obvious that > > 1. All computer guys named Dave are gay. > 2. Computer guys named Dave are attracted to you. > > Ergo: You are a man. > > I hope that helps with your situation. Funny you should say that. Actually, I did go out with 2 of the computer guys named Dave; both figure prominently in threads of a year or so ago. One Dave-date never went anywhere, because among other things he didn’t know how to make eye contact when conversing, and I obviously made him really uncomfortable on some level, although he kept asking me out, so I obviously didn’t repulse him. After the third really awkward and uncomfortable date, I gave up. The other Dave and I hit it off really, really well, but one friend of mine decided he was in the closet when after 3 dates he hadn’t made any sort of a move on me, although we obviously enjoyed each other’s company. However, unless the whole thing was a really elaborate hoax, he turned out to be quite non-gay; after he did a complete flip-out (which even he acknowledged; it’s also described in an old thread), he was one of the ones who turned out not to be over his ex. I though what the heck, we have a lot in common, let’s be friends, and he agreed. But after a number of months of really bizarre back-and-forth, are we friends or are we dating? stuff, it was beginning to leave me really confused. And let’s just say that I tend to give up on a guy after he (unprompted) offers to help me move, and then disappears off the face of the Earth (although he lives three blocks from me), never to be heard from again. And well, I don’t think anyone reading this thread can literally confirm firsthand that I’m not a man, but a few can confirm that if I’m not, I’m one helluva convincing transvestite. ---
**Author:** ![AvariceAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/958977/32.png) [@AvariceAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AvariceAngel)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/43 "2004-01-30T18:03:07Z")
My boyfriend is a computer guy named Dave. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/44 "2004-01-30T18:06:56Z")
Mind if I use your thread to air a few of my own gripes on this front **Eva**? To men who don’t like/want kids—I mention my sons at least a half-dozen times in my profile. Stop replying to me, it makes you look stupid. To men who want slender or toned women–I flat out say that, while physically active, I’m nowhere near slender. Stop replying to me, especially when your profiles are actually good, because as soon as I see that I feel totally inadequate. To men who live five states away–Really, what the fuck are you thinking? To almost all the men–simple probability theory negates the possibility that each and every one of you makes $75,000–100,000 a year. You aren’t fooling anyone. To the one guy who winked at me, had a really great background spelled out in his profile, was pretty damn attractive, and close to my age–The fact that you wrote “LOL” after every second sentence blew it. Seriously, how annoying is that? To the men who can’t spell, punctuate, or write complete sentences----Step away from the computer. Do it now, do it for the good of all mankind. Thank you. And finally–To the big fat biker who admits to eating like a pig and never exercising–the fact that you say “no heavyset women” is deliciously ironic. Oh, and I especially liked the condition of “If you’ve ever dated a black man, don’t bother replying”. You are a vile, vile man. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/45 "2004-01-30T18:07:54Z")
> [@](#): > > And well, I don’t think anyone reading this thread can literally confirm firsthand that I’m not a man, but a few can confirm that if I’m not, I’m one helluva convincing transvestite. No typos ever, perfect syntax, flawless logic (and yet you are troubled by some things)and you’re constantly trying to rid yourself of computer programmers named Dave. Are you Sure you’re not a HAL9000 …? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/46 "2004-01-30T18:50:09Z")
So basically, if you make moves on a woman on the first or second date, you are a sex craved creep, but if you don’t make moves, your a closet homosexual? I’m glad I don’t date, I am sure most people think I am gay because the front of my pants don’t ballon out everytime I see an attractive woman too, so I guess it is a moot point. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/47 "2004-01-30T18:54:07Z")
> [@Epimetheus](#): > > So basically, if you make moves on a woman on the first or second date, you are a sex craved creep, but if you don’t make moves, your a closet homosexual? > > I’m glad I don’t date, I am sure most people think I am gay because the front of my pants don’t ballon out everytime I see an attractive woman too, so I guess it is a moot point. I didn’t say I believed that, and for the record, the friend who did is a guy. (It was also somewhat tongue-in-cheek.) Of course, he’s Mr. All Talk, No Action and basically won’t go for a cup of coffee with a woman until he believes she’s his soul mate, but that explains why he is single and is definitely a rant for another day. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/48 "2004-01-30T20:05:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **elmwood** sez:_ > as if they were ridden hard and put away wet Is it just me, or does that sound kind of hot? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/49 "2004-01-30T20:08:36Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Women who are 5’ 6" and weigh 200 pounds do not have “average” builds. Maybe in Samoa, perhaps, but not in the rest of the country. Don’t give me the usual “the average woman in the US weighs 240 pounds” or “Marilyn Monroe was a size 28” BS, either. Average means “weight proportionate to height,” which admittedly may be hard to define, but we know it when we see it, and 200 pounds ain’t it. > > We men know that in online personal ad land, “slim” means average; “average” means average to 10 or 20 extra pounds, “a few extra pounds” means large, and “large” means huge. Don’t make things more confusing by classifying your body type as “average” if you’re really large. I’ve never filled out one of those profiles–do you choose your descriptions from a list, or do you type in your own? I’d hate it if my only options were “a few extra pounds” or “large.” Especially if it was universally assumed that “large” meant “huge.” I’m fat, to be sure, but I’m quite active. But I’m not _that_ fat, in any case. I wouldn’t want to put “a few extra pounds,” because that’s false, but I’d be really reluctant to put down something that implied that I needed 2 seats on an airplane, because I’m nowhere near that big. (Do they have an option for “Samoan?”) So what should someone put? ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/50 "2004-01-30T20:16:21Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > I’ve never filled out one of those profiles–do you choose your descriptions from a list, or do you type in your own? Generally it’s multiple-choice, but every time I’ve clicked on a profile of a guy who listed “a few extra pounds,” it was, to put it kindly, more than a few extra pounds. You pretty much end up with the size equivalent of grade inflation. Myself, I wouldn’t mind losing 10 lbs., but I’m afraid that if I put “a few extra pounds” everyone will assume I mean 100. So I put “average,” which in America means “a few extra pounds” anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/51 "2004-01-30T20:21:21Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > To men who live five states away–Really, what the fuck are you thinking? Would this be a good time to mention that my most recent correspondent was a guy, who once again either didn’t read or didn’t give a damn about my profile, because he is also in his late 40s, lists nothing whatsoever that I would have in common with him, but the kicker is that he lives in friggin’ HAIFA? ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/52 "2004-01-30T20:54:30Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Would this be a good time to mention that my most recent correspondent was a guy, who once again either didn’t read or didn’t give a damn about my profile, because he is also in his late 40s, lists nothing whatsoever that I would have in common with him, but the kicker is that he lives in friggin’ HAIFA? Take it as flattery. Your profile is so damn appealing that men lose all track of reason and email you even when they live nowhere near you. (Speaking of which, to really comment on your profile and its effect on men, I think we need a link… 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/53 "2004-01-30T21:06:41Z")
> [@IWLN](#): > > Since the profile was to state my preferences, that’s what I did. It actually was the lie more than the height issue. Lying before the first date is a red flag to me. I know, sweetie - that’s why I said “I hear you”. > [@](#): > > I am a medium sized person and no that doesn’t mean over 200 pounds, thank you, just not petite. If a guy was shorter than I was, he at least needed to be stocky, muscular or even a little over-weight. I just didn’t want to be “bigger” than he was. It’s a girly thing. Still no hairy ears though.😉 You’re perfectly entitled to your own preferences. I just personally don’t get the whole “the man _has_ to be bigger than the woman” thing. O.K., back in caveman times, I can understand that you’d want someone who can fight off saber-toothed tigers and all, but in this day and age…? I also don’t get the hair phobia. Men have more hair than women; it’s just a fact. And yes, it often grows out our ears, on our chest and abdomen, our butts, and [gasp], even our backs. It’s natural. Of course, I don’t get men’s hair phobia either. I hear guys say, “Ewww, did you see that chick? She had hair on her pits.” Yeah, just like _all_ women do. And not that I ever looked at one of those magazines (cough, cough), but what’s with the little shaved racing stripe of hair down there below the waist? You’re _supposed_ to have hair - why are we so afraid of it? YMMV. FWIW, I do trim the hair out of my ears.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/54 "2004-01-30T21:55:04Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > (Speaking of which, to really comment on your profile and its effect on men, I think we need a link… 🙂 ) Well, even if I could access it from here (which I can’t; I think they have the page blocked), I think I still prefer to maintain some semblance of control over who can connect the dots between all my various identities. Heck, I don’t even have my e-mail posted on my profile here, though I’ve been known to e-mail people on request for various reasons. Sorry 🙂 (Although if anyone here who’s read a few of my posts found it, they’d figure me out pretty quickly.) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/55 "2004-01-31T01:09:56Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > To almost all the men–simple probability theory negates the possibility that each and every one of you makes $75,000–100,000 a year. You aren’t fooling anyone… Well, maybe if all you women stop asking for minimum incomes of $50K or $75K, we’ll stop lying! 😃 elmwood ($35,000-$50,000) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/56 "2004-01-31T01:18:14Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Of course, I don’t get men’s hair phobia either. I hear guys say, “Ewww, did you see that chick? She had hair on her pits.” Yeah, just like _all_ women do. And not that I ever looked at one of those magazines (cough, cough), but what’s with the little shaved racing stripe of hair down there below the waist? You’re _supposed_ to have hair - why are we so afraid of it? Blame it on “society.” As a guy, I like women to look like … well, women. When women are very hirsute, it feels as if … well, I know she’s not, but it feels as if she’s kind of a guy, especially if she doesn’t shave her pits or legs. Women with moustaches … we’re not talking whisps of hair like some Mediterranean or Latin women have, but full-blown moustaches … well, I can’t help but think of some state trooper named Ed or something. I don’t think all men require porn star-style pubic hair shaving jobs, but when it’s ungroomed, wild and free, cunnilingus can be quite a challenge. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/57 "2004-01-31T01:43:58Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Blame it on “society.” Sure. You’re right. I lived in Italy just as puberty was kicking in, so the idea of armpit hair on a woman doesn’t bother me. Though I have to admit, the first time I noticed it, I thought the woman I was looking at was a mutant! Hair on legs does bother me. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/58 "2004-01-31T02:29:10Z")
I agree with what Giraffe said, these guys are responding because of your picture. Most of them don’t even read the profiles. I put a profile on Emode matchmaker several months ago for fun, and I’ve gotten tons of responses from men who don’t have one thing in common with me. In fact, most of them are the opposite of what I’d look for in a guy. Maybe you should try eHarmony. It’s expensive, but I’ve heard it’s much better than most of the freebie dating sites out there. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/59 "2004-01-31T03:32:18Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > 1. Women who claim to be 32 or 33 , but the photo shows someone who looks to be 45. Even if their face is young, old lady hairdos, like having short but poofy hair, make me suspicious. > > I’m 38 now. I have no problems dating a woman in their early 40s. Just be honest about it. To be superficial, though … no old lady hairdos, okay? > > I’ll admit it’s difficult to determine the age of women with profile pictures that look _Appalachian_, as if they were ridden hard and put away wet. > 5) Women who are 5’ 6" and weigh 200 pounds do not have “average” builds. Maybe in Samoa, perhaps, but not in the rest of the country. Don’t give me the usual “the average woman in the US weighs 240 pounds” or “Marilyn Monroe was a size 28” BS, either. Average means “weight proportionate to height,” which admittedly may be hard to define, but we know it when we see it, and 200 pounds ain’t it. > > We men know that in online personal ad land, “slim” means average; “average” means average to 10 or 20 extra pounds, “a few extra pounds” means large, and “large” means huge. Don’t make things more confusing by classifying your body type as “average” if you’re really large. East side of Cleveland eh? I’m a few miles east of you. 5’11" and 140 lbs, gained 10 lbs in the past year.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/60 "2004-01-31T03:33:26Z")
oh, BTW, I’m 45. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612.md?page=4)