# 50 is not between 30 and 40; or, Get a clue already! Yet another dating rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 29, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612 "2004-01-29T17:33:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/61 "2004-01-31T03:46:03Z")
I don’t know anything about computer dating but I gotta say that this is one of the most fascinating threads I’ve read. (BTW I attended my niece’s wedding in Seattle last year and the guy she married was a computer guy (Not named Dave) that she met on the internet - I don’t much care for him, but that’s ok because she likes him) ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/62 "2004-01-31T04:21:30Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I agree with what Giraffe said, these guys are responding because of your picture. Most of them don’t even read the profiles. > > [snip] > > Maybe you should try eHarmony. It’s expensive, but I’ve heard it’s much better than most of the freebie dating sites out there. Well, however much it would be nice to think it’s the picture, I just put the picture up a few days ago, and most of the responses were before that (although Mr. Haifa’s wasn’t, nor was Mr. Bald Salt and Pepper’s). So how many of you guys think if a woman doesn’t post a picture, she’strying to hide something? I’m not, but as on the SDMB, I’d like to maintain some control over who has what information about me. It wasn’t getting me anywhere, though, so I relented. And the site I’m using isn’t a free site, but I’m not going to get any more specific than that. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/63 "2004-01-31T04:30:26Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Nah, she’s gotta like you to even let you get to the point where your sexual prowess would even come into question; at that point, she’s not gonna dump you just because you don’t have the Kama Sutra memorized. As long as you know how to listen, anyway. Back me up on this, ladies… Yes. It’s all in the man’s attitude, not in his “talent”. If he truly likes and enjoys women, and wants to make things fun sexually for them that’s a great place to start. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/64 "2004-01-31T04:55:59Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Maybe you should try eHarmony. It’s expensive, but I’ve heard it’s much better than most of the freebie dating sites out there. Arrrgh, there be monsters there, aye. I’ve written a lot about e-Harmony here. I’ll say this about it…the way it’s put together does tend to cut down on the jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/65 "2004-01-31T19:01:24Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Arrrgh, there be monsters there, aye. > > I’ve written a lot about e-Harmony here. I’ll say this about it…the way it’s put together does tend to cut down on the jerks. For less jerks, I can heartily recommend SciConnect; it’s MUCH more specialized to the science and tech fields, most people on it are degreed and serious about dating someone intelligent. It worked great for me last year, until I found out the ‘one great guy’ had been lying to me for 9 weeks. I don’t blame SciConnect for that, but it put me off online dating until 2 weeks ago, when another thread badgered me into rejoining. Now, I just believe most things about guys when I see them. I like to think that guy was an anomaly, but still… Oh, SciConnect’s cheaper than Match as well. And **EVA** , once I posted my pic, I had the exact same age preference problem. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/66 "2004-02-01T09:18:16Z")
Smug Married here, with a question for y’all. These threads have inspired me to check out [match.com](http://match.com) and read some profiles. I’ve noticed that when people list athletic activities, the most common one seems to be “skiing”. Now how the heck can you ski on a regular basis, but still not meet prospective dates? Is this another example of people not being honest (“I went to Aspen with some co-workers in 1997 and fell down on the nursery slope, so technically, I can put ‘skiing’”)? Or is apres-ski not the warm, romantic atmosphere I’ve been led to believe? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/67 "2004-02-01T18:47:18Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Now how the heck can you ski on a regular basis, but still not meet prospective dates? Is this another example of people not being honest (“I went to Aspen with some co-workers in 1997 and fell down on the nursery slope, so technically, I can put ‘skiing’”)? Or is apres-ski not the warm, romantic atmosphere I’ve been led to believe? It really isn’t. I lived in Colorado for four years, and skiied quite a bit, albiet on green slopes. It’s hard to meet someone when you’re blasting down the slopes; it’s like trying to meet people while running in a marathon. There’s the scnes in movies where people shout “single!” at the lifts, and find an attractive lift partner of the opposite sex. HAHAHAHAHA! Doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid. If you’re in a lift line alone, you’ll be partnered off with the next available “single” - which could be a member of the inappropriate sex, a 10 year old kid … anybody, really. The fireplace at the ski lodge - don’t people meet there? Nope. Most skiiers drive up from Denver early in the morning, and drive back home when the sun begins to set, if not earlier to beat the traffic jams on I-70. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/68 "2004-02-01T19:37:00Z")
I see. Thank you. And also, I bet a lot of people go skiing already partnered up. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/69 "2004-02-01T19:48:21Z")
I wonder whether “skiing” is the sport equivalent of “likes to take long walks on the beach.” After all, if a guy says they like to play golf, that conjures up “golf widow” images. If he likes football, baseball or other team sports, that either means (if watching) he’ll want to watch his team every week or (if he actually plays these sports) spend hours at the bar with his teammates. Bowling is “too Midwestern rust belt.” Most other sports are objectionable to some part of the population, I suppose. But skiing…well, everybody’s gone skiing at least once, or wants to. (With me, the operative word is “once.”) Plus, “skiing” is associated with jet-setting, trendy lifestyles, something you can’t say about bowling. And gallivanting around in the snow, then lounging about in front of the fireplace _sounds_ romantic. The reality, as **elmwood** points out, is rather different, but most women don’t know that. If a guy doesn’t feel like putting skiing in his profile, he can always try the old standby, “walking.” Even if it’s just walking from the car to the office, it’s never a lie. Some men like to upgrade “walking” to “hiking,” especially city types who rarely see a tree other than a ficus tree. Lastly there’s the old fave “working out,” which could mean anything from “I work out for two hours every day, even Christmas and New Year’s,” to “When I go to the mall, I like to look at the exercise equipment store.” [sub]This exercise in cynicism brought to you by **Duke** , single since the year 2000[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/70 "2004-02-01T21:26:42Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > East side of Cleveland eh? I’m a few miles east of you. > 5’11" and 140 lbs, gained 10 lbs in the past year.🙂 Time for a Cleveland Dopefes! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/71 "2004-02-01T22:49:51Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > well, everybody’s gone skiing at least once, or wants to. Not me, but I’m a happy spinster lady and don’t have to pretend to like skiing or long walks on the beach or reading poetry in the rain while riding horseback. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/72 "2004-02-02T03:51:04Z")
Well, not to turn this into a denial fest, but I also have no desire to ski, unless by skiing, you mean water-skiing. 😉 I don’t like the cold, don’t like snow, and dont like hydroplaning down a steep slope with trees and cliffs anywhere near my path. Call me a wimp, but if it involves snow, I probably don’t like it, if it involves barreling down hills with sticks stuck on my feet and a chance I will plummet off a cliff or break my neck hitting a tree, I will pass. I like water in its other two physical states: but mostly in its liquid phase. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612/73 "2004-02-02T04:34:01Z")
Ah, I’m just trying to channel the mindset of somebody who would put “skiing” as one of their interests even if they don’t ski. Kinda like the “long walks on the beach” thing, which would be silly for someone in, say, Kansas, to put down as an interest. (Though I have to say…one of the dates I went on last year involved just that, even though I live near Niagara Falls.) I would never put it down myself. My one experience with skiing was more like “falling down a mountain while wearing useless sticks on my feet, cursing the friend who took me along, while repeatedly planting myself face-first in the snow.” Apart from bog-snorkeling, I can’t think of any “sport” I’d less like to partake in. And **Eve** , I commend you for being able to stand up and say that pretension is not for you. I wish I could say the same for myself. But I will probably put myself through the dating wringer again soon, buying strange women dinner, pretending to laugh at their lame jokes, making lame jokes of my own, pretending not to be hurt when they say I’m not their type after one date, moving on to the next match and starting the process again. I’m glad you’ve found happiness where you are, it’s more important than anything else. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-is-not-between-30-and-40-or-get-a-clue-already-yet-another-dating-rant/226612.md?page=3)