# 50 Ways to Lose Your Blubber **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639 "2011-03-22T19:19:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/21 "2011-03-23T00:08:01Z")
Rats, missed the edit window! That doesn’t match the cadence of 50 Ways at all, does it. :smack: Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/22 "2011-03-23T03:27:48Z")
That was just lovely, **Colophon**! Woo to the Hoo! ---
**Author:** ![anfernee06](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@anfernee06](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anfernee06)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/23 "2011-03-23T05:08:15Z")
well done mate ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/24 "2011-03-23T10:36:14Z")
You got it goin’ on, Colophon ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/25 "2011-03-23T11:58:23Z")
It ain’t about the calorie, Valerie It’s all about the protein, Dean Just cut out the carbs, Barb Let Taubes set you free. Chow down on the fat, Matt And double the cheese, Louise, It’s a 17-page thread, Fred that’ll blow out your knees. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/26 "2011-03-23T12:22:09Z")
Ice cream, donuts, spare tires, beer guts Cheese doritos, double fries, wanna SuperSize? Atkins, Schmatkins, some fads say eat Catkins Eat less, move more, get your fat ass out the door We better start a diet We avoid the scales Cos we look like whales We better start a diet Cos the fat we’re packing Came from constant snacking ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/27 "2011-03-23T12:38:51Z")
Thank you all. You wouldn’t want to hear me sing it, though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/28 "2011-03-23T12:52:41Z")
**Colophon** , we’d politely listen and clap, even if you did suck. That was great. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/29 "2011-03-23T15:09:03Z")
Get your ass in the gym, Jim. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/30 "2011-03-23T15:28:43Z")
Consider a carrot, Garrett, Think cruciferous, Gus, Perhaps lose a leg, Peg, That’s a pound or two. Stay away from what’s fried, Clyde, There is really no downside! Take the time to chew, Pru, For a new, smaller, you. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/31 "2011-03-23T17:00:49Z")
But stay off the drugs, Tugs Don’t nees no alli, Salli Forget the phen-fen, Ren No need to take speed, Mead. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/32 "2011-03-23T17:20:47Z")
Develop bulemia, Valeria Sign up for plastic surgery, Marjory put in a lap band, Fernand Or getcha all three. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/33 "2011-03-23T18:01:40Z")
Just lay off the sweet, Pete Cut out all the bread, Fred You can have a green bean, Dean When you need a nice treat… ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/34 "2011-03-23T18:15:44Z")
Just go on a diet, Hyatt Don’t say you’re just gonna try it Roast that chicken, don’t fry it And get yourself free! ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/35 "2011-03-23T18:25:12Z")
…You just cut out the snacks, Jack Try the F-Plan, Stan Swap the dairy for soy, Roy Just listen to me Bin the cream puffs, Gus You don’t need to digest much Just lay off the ghee, Lee And get yourself free _Edit: I’m now itching to start a “Fifty Ways to Lube Your Rubber” thread… must be the ghee reference 🙂_ ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/36 "2011-03-23T18:28:28Z")
Just lay off the flan, Jan Take a pass on the toast, Joust, Skip on the cake, Jake, And get yourself free! ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/37 "2011-03-23T18:40:38Z")
Shut your pie-hole, Cole ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/38 "2011-03-23T19:01:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Enough with the fucking cheeseburgers, asshole. 😕 That doesn’t rhyme. > [@Valgard](#): > > Cut back on the french-fried tubers, **Pseudotriton ruber ruber** Valgard, you rock! You get bonus points for the first use of a Doper name in this song. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/39 "2011-03-23T19:10:22Z")
Bonus points for doper names? I’ll play. You just need to eat less, Wes Don’t listen to Stoid, Lloyd Take a run round the track, Jack And get yourself thin… ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639/40 "2011-03-23T19:29:24Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > It ain’t about the calorie, Valerie > It’s all about the protein, Dean > Just cut out the carbs, Barb > Let Taubes set you free. > Chow down on the fat, Matt > And double the cheese, Louise, > It’s a 17-page thread, Fred > that’ll blow out your knees. Damn. > [@Enderw24](#): > > Develop bulemia, Valeria > Sign up for plastic surgery, Marjory > put in a lap band, Fernand > Or getcha all three. You’re a psycho. \*Drink some more caffeine, Dean Like a big cuppa coffee, Geoffrey Just chug a Red Bull, Ted And tweak yourself free Start smokin’ cigarettes, Betz You’re gonna lose weight yet Eat only styrofoam, Jerome And getcherself free…\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/50-ways-to-lose-your-blubber/575639.md?page=3)