# 65 years old, blind, suffering from dementia, and now crippled...\[update: passed away\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2018, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450 "2018-08-29T04:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/181 "2020-02-06T19:37:36Z")
Oh. man. I’m so sorry it came to this, but I’m glad she went peacefully with her family near her. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/182 "2020-02-06T20:07:04Z")
I am so sorry. May her memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/183 "2020-02-06T20:36:31Z")
I’m sorry you are going through this journey but am glad kayla was able to get to your side before her mom passed away. Go slow, just breathe, and have good memories. Best wishes that the rest of this process goes well for you and kayla. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/184 "2020-02-06T20:42:08Z")
My gosh, that was unexpectedly quick. My condolences to you and Kayla, may you have peace and may your memories of the past be comforting ones. kam ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/185 "2020-02-07T00:32:15Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Very much sympathy for your loss. > > The rabbi at my father’s funeral said ‘There are three ways to grieve: you can weep, you can shout, you can laugh’. Remember that all of these, including a mix of these, are normal reactions. So is relief. So is feeling like you’ve been kicked in the stomach. So is having your brain not work right for a while. This is all so true. Best thing you can do for yourself is cut yourself a bunch of slack no matter whatyou feel or do. Also, you do bring a lot to this place and I hope we did/are doing some giving back to you right now. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/186 "2020-02-07T01:07:22Z")
My condolences. Try to take some time for yourself, for some extra rest, for some time with your daughter. Eat as healthy as you can. Remember how you feel at a given moment is how you feel - it’s not wrong, even if it might be uncomfortable or feel awkward. Please accept my virtual {{{{hugs}}}} for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/187 "2020-02-07T01:22:22Z")
I’m sorry to learn you’ve suffered such a loss, **kaylasdad**. May your grief be gentle. I wanted to say my mom donated her body to science. She was a teacher and loved the idea of others learning from her body after she had no use for it. The medical school that got her body had a lovely service the following summer in gratitude for the bodies they’d received. The med students spoke about how much it meant to them. You made a beautiful decision. You’re beloved here on the SDMB. Hugs to you and kayla. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/188 "2020-02-07T01:23:39Z")
I’m so sorry. Please be very gentle with yourself. RIP Lorita. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/189 "2020-02-07T01:33:38Z")
I’m sorry **kaylasdad99**. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/190 "2020-02-07T02:19:29Z")
Words are kind of useless at times like this. But know that even though we are just words on a screen to each other, there are real minds and real hearts behind those words; and those hearts and minds are grieving for you and with you. Relax, grieve, and take some time to let yourself recover. And know the minds and hearts behind this board care for you and value you. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/191 "2020-02-07T03:17:49Z")
My heartfelt condolences, **kaylasdad99**. I know that this struggle will never entirely be over, but you did the best you could in a very difficult situation. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/192 "2020-02-07T03:26:22Z")
I’m very sorry for your family’s loss, and I imagine there’s some relief in it as well. When my father died, we were all glad he was no longer suffering and that our mother was no longer in a state of constant emergency. May all of you be well. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/193 "2020-02-07T03:32:11Z")
I have found your journey thru this pure inspiration. I’m incredibly sad for your loss. I know you must so tired and sad. Hug Kayla alot. Tell her your Doper friends have her in our hearts. And you as well. I wish you peace going forward. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/194 "2020-02-07T03:38:32Z")
My thoughts and sympathy to you for your hardships and loss. We will all find ourselves in these circumstances sooner or later, and one can only hope to go through to the end with such courage, persistence, and love. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/195 "2020-02-07T03:43:46Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss, **kaylasdad99**. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/196 "2020-02-07T04:15:04Z")
Really sorry to hear it, **kaylasdad** ; wishing you strength and peace. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/197 "2020-02-07T04:54:01Z")
Many hugs to all the people who loved Kaylasmom. \<3 It sounds like her passing was painless and very peaceful. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/198 "2020-02-07T05:44:57Z")
I grieve with thee. May you and your family finally have peace. Kaylasmom has peace now. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/199 "2020-02-07T07:18:14Z")
My dad died almost a year ago. I was his sole caregiver. Like you, I saw him deteriorate over the years, and the responsibility of caring for him took over my life. After he died, I started going through his belongings and came across a bunch of old family photos. I put a lot of them in albums, and the time I spent with those pictures really helped me. It reminded me of what he was before he became helpless. **kaylasdad99** , I’m saying this because you might find it useful to do something similar. You had many good years with **kaylasmom** before illness took over, and it could make things easier if you do things to remind yourself of those years. Look at pictures, talk to Kayla about old memories, reminisce with friends about old times. Please keep checking in here to let us know how you’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/200 "2020-02-07T08:13:09Z")
> [@rocking\_chair](#): > > I am so sorry. > > May her memory be eternal. There’s a short poem by Tagore that I’m planning to read (or have read) at her service: When Death comes and whispers to me: “Thy days have ended.“ Let me say to him: “I have lived in love, and not in mere time.” He will ask: “Will your songs remain?” I shall say: “I know not. But this I know: that often when I sang, I found my eternity.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450.md?page=11)