# 65 years old, blind, suffering from dementia, and now crippled...\[update: passed away\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2018, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450 "2018-08-29T04:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/161 "2020-02-04T18:56:34Z")
My greatest sympathies to you, **kaylasdad99**. I’ve always been one of my favorite Dopers. I’m glad your wife has such a devoted and caring husband to keep her best welfare in mind and to make all of the hard decisions. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/162 "2020-02-04T20:19:44Z")
I’m so sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2020, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/163 "2020-02-05T00:10:36Z")
This is such a difficult time. I’m so sorry. Might you not need Oliver as emotional support for YOU? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2020, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/164 "2020-02-05T00:22:32Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > This is such a difficult time. I’m so sorry. Might you not need Oliver as emotional support for YOU? If I’m candid, Oliver is more of a stressor, especially when he doesn’t even have **kaylasmom** to keep him company while I’m at work. He’s got severe separation anxiety, and he deserves to live in an environment where he can have company and an outlet for his energy. Also, I’ve still got Brock, our cat who moved in about ten years ago. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2020, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/165 "2020-02-05T02:37:16Z")
I’m really sorry. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2020, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/166 "2020-02-05T04:02:57Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Thank you, **asahi** , that means a lot. > > In fact, many thanks to all of you for all of the support you have shown us over the years on this. You’re welcome. You’ll find a way. Not every day will be fun or good, but you’ll find a way. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/167 "2020-02-06T16:31:20Z")
(C&P’d from my other thread): We went to the hospital yesterday, and were joined by one of her longtime girlfriends. At about 2:30 PM, we had a respiratory therapist come into the room and remove her breathing tube. I stood at her bedside for a while, holding her hand. At about 3:05 PM, a nurse came in and told us that her heart had stopped beating. After a few minutes of tears, we made arrangements to have her body looked after and picked up, Then went off to get some dinner. Kayla gathered some of her close college friends around her, while I went home and followed up with a few phone calls about how we’re going to manage to find a new home for Oliver. I’m happy to report that I was able to make arrangements for a highly respected rescue organization to come and pick him up on Monday morning (one of Kayla’s desires was that Oliver not leave the household before she returns to New York). I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, all of the Dopers who have shown us such compassion and concern (to say nothing of the contributions that you have made to the gofundme campaign, which, in addition to covering the costs of Kayla’s emergency travel, have permitted us to successfully arrange for a small memorial service for Lorita). I know that this ordeal is not really over yet (if it can ever truly be over), but I also know that I will be continually returning to the Dope to help me get through it. So, on balance, I guess I can say that the 20 years I have invested in being a Doper have paid off handsomely. I love and treasure you all. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/168 "2020-02-06T16:52:41Z")
I’m sorry for you **kaylasdad99** , and for Kayla and all of your family. May you continue to find the inner strength you need to get through the coming days. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/169 "2020-02-06T16:52:48Z")
I am so very sorry to read this. Much love to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/170 "2020-02-06T17:20:26Z")
Very sorry to hear this; best wishes to your family. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/171 "2020-02-06T17:22:55Z")
My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/172 "2020-02-06T17:23:53Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > So, on balance, I guess I can say that the 20 years I have invested in being a Doper have paid off handsomely. I love and treasure you all. The pay-out has been both ways, you make this a better place for the rest of us. I’m sending love back your way. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/173 "2020-02-06T17:30:31Z")
My deepest sympathy for your loss. StG ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/174 "2020-02-06T17:47:13Z")
Oh my goodness… I’m so sorry. Oh dear. I wasn’t expecting that today. ☹ Hugs to you and family. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/175 "2020-02-06T17:55:06Z")
I’m so sorry to hear it. I’m wishing peace for you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/176 "2020-02-06T18:05:00Z")
Very much sympathy for your loss. The rabbi at my father’s funeral said ‘There are three ways to grieve: you can weep, you can shout, you can laugh’. Remember that all of these, including a mix of these, are normal reactions. So is relief. So is feeling like you’ve been kicked in the stomach. So is having your brain not work right for a while. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/177 "2020-02-06T18:21:04Z")
My sympathy for your loss, **kaylasdad**. This has been such a hard road for you. You are in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/178 "2020-02-06T18:32:13Z")
**k’dad** …no words, only love to you and your daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/179 "2020-02-06T18:35:23Z")
We love you too,\*\* kaylasdad\*\*. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450/180 "2020-02-06T18:59:42Z")
My condolences. I’ve been through this type of thing myself, so I know how stressful it is. While there are things you have to take care of, you also need to take a well-earned rest. Try to sleep in. Pet Brock. Watch some mindless TV. Sit in the sun. Whatever it is you do to relax. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/65-years-old-blind-suffering-from-dementia-and-now-crippled-update-passed-away/820450.md?page=10)