# 7 items I ask myself during a weird time in my life **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2024, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392 "2024-10-03T00:39:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/1 "2024-10-03T00:39:21Z")
Things I thought about in my goofy brain while under some kinda influence: 1. Why is there such a thing as black soap? 2. Why is my chair an arm-chair but it can’t hug me? Ok, I know, the arms of a chair are for my arms to sit on. But arms don’t really “sit”, now do they? Plus I could use a hug. 3. When you get to the end, are you necessarily at the beginning of what’s next? 4. Why are tadpoles not called pre-frog babies? What are baby turtles called? Please tell me it’s cute like “shell-kittens”. 5. If I can’t speak and I taught my dog to speak using buttons is he less handicapped than me, even tho’ he’s a lower order mammal than me. Have I lost ground? He actually talked to me while I was gone, my daughter texted me everything he said. I’m thinking we need a way for dogs to text us. Surely this is next on the horizon. 6. When you’re watching crappy TV and these ads to help the Elephants, the St. Jude kids, the poor Jewish people in Russia, ASPCA, whichever it always asks for $19 bucks a month. Who came up with that amount? 7. Do I really need to wash my bananas? I do. But do I need to? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/2 "2024-10-03T00:55:29Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > When you’re watching crappy TV and these ads to help the Elephants, the St. Jude kids, the poor Jewish people in Russia, ASPCA, whichever it always asks for $19 bucks a month. Who came up with that amount? There are people with Doctorates in this stuff. It all boils down to a. $20 is serious, real money. b. $19 is less real, but still close by association c. It therefore feels like a sacrifice, but a cheap one that you can do to feel good about yourself d. It obscures the fact that the suckers will be on the hook for $200+/year ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/3 "2024-10-03T01:01:14Z")
My mother likes to tell the story about how, as a kid, she once saw a dark brown-black bar of soap at the neighbor’s house, labeled “Honey Flavor.” She secretly took a big bite, then instantly regretted it. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/4 "2024-10-03T01:11:00Z")
1. Only if there are no gaps. When you get to the end of one day, you are at the beginning of the next day. But when you get to the end of one book, you’re not at the beginning of the next one, unless you start the next one really fast. 2. Baby turtles are called “hatchlings”. Kinda cute, but not as cute as “shell-kittens”. I’m going to start using “shell-kittens”. 3. You only need to wash your bananas if you eat them without peeling them. Anything on the outside of the peel gets tossed when you remove the peel. BTW, did you know that rats love bananas? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/5 "2024-10-03T01:35:08Z")
🎵 Rats! We have no bananas. We have no bananas today! 🎶 FYI, rabbits will kidnap your family for a banana. Pineapple, too. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/6 "2024-10-03T01:40:49Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Why is my chair an arm-chair but it can’t hug me? Ok, I know, the arms of a chair are for my arms to sit on. But arms don’t really “sit”, now do they? > Plus I could use a hug. You need to get a chair like Pee-Wee used to have. [![](https://beautydart.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/peewee_chairry.png) ](https://beautydart.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/peewee_chairry.png) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/7 "2024-10-03T01:43:11Z")
“HAVE?” That’s today’s SECRET WORD!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/8 "2024-10-03T01:46:08Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > When you get to the end, are you necessarily at the beginning of what’s next? Well, now is when you find out what happens next. Also, change is how you know time is happening. And when in doubt, follow your fish. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/9 "2024-10-03T01:48:30Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > > > When you’re watching crappy TV and these ads to help the Elephants, the St. Jude kids, the poor Jewish people in Russia, ASPCA, whichever it always asks for $19 bucks a month. Who came up with that amount? > > There are people with Doctorates in this stuff. There’s also people _without_ doctorates in this stuff. That’s why every car on the car lot is advertised at $xx,999. Psychologically, it’s a lot less that $1 more. > [@markn\_1](#): > > BTW, did you know that rats love bananas? They can’t survive on [just](https://nypost.com/video/pizza-rats-play-tug-of-war-with-a-cheese-slice-on-nyc-subway-tracks/) [pizza](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/10 "2024-10-03T02:23:15Z")
Wouldn’t it need to be $18.99 or $19.99 to qualify for the 99¢ store trick? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/11 "2024-10-03T02:36:51Z")
**Beck** , you are the female version of Steven Wright. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/12 "2024-10-03T03:32:20Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > If I can’t speak and I taught my dog to speak using buttons is he less handicapped than me, even tho’ he’s a lower order mammal than me. Have I lost ground? > He actually talked to me while I was gone, my daughter texted me everything he said. I’m thinking we need a way for dogs to text us. Surely this is next on the horizon. In all seriousness, the work you’ve done with Bayliss – the mystery dog that appeared out of nowhere and who you adopted and taught to use those “talk” buttons – is amazing and commendable on several different levels. Your kindness to animals is truly a reflection of your character. Rather less seriously, I was browsing the FluentPet™ site that sells those buttons and it claimed that you could also teach your cat to use them. It had a picture of a typical dog and a typical cat, and I took the liberty of captioning it, according to what seems to be the obvious expressions on those animals’ faces … 😆 [![](https://i.imgur.com/BpWgKyf.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/BpWgKyf.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/13 "2024-10-03T04:01:41Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > If I can’t speak and I taught my dog to speak using buttons is he less handicapped than me, even tho’ he’s a lower order mammal than me. Have I lost ground? I saw a dog that learned sign-language just through usage in a deaf household, I always wanted to learn sign language but never have. So I was beaten in a life accomplishment by a dog and it wasn’t even close. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/14 "2024-10-03T04:23:08Z")
Don’t wanna brag but Bayliss knows some sign language. He’s a good good dog. I’ve had some really dumb dogs(still loved them), a highly intelligent one is so different to live with. Not to mention he’s very cute too. 😍 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/15 "2024-10-03T04:39:18Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > …Bayliss – the mystery dog that appeared out of nowhere and who you adopted… Hey, would you like to enlighten the board about this?? Go ahead, don’t edit yourself. Work in the Ducati tie-in… Or not. Up to you. Banana washing: Depends on what you intend to do with them ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/16 "2024-10-03T06:35:38Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Banana washing: Depends on what you intend to do with them Could also easily depend on what you **have** done with them. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/17 "2024-10-03T07:33:55Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Banana washing: Depends on what you intend to do with them > [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > Could also easily depend on what you **have** done with them there are a lot of somethings the world does not need to know … those are two of them ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/18 "2024-10-03T07:44:04Z")
Another thing has occurred to me. While I was off doing the thing that I was doing, where I was under an influence of a thing that influenced me. I wore red dainties. I awakened with blue pokey dot. Didn’t go well with my attire. Oh you don’t match your undies with your outsides? Tsk tsk. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/19 "2024-10-03T09:30:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Why is there such a thing as black soap? It’s black because it is made from ashes: [African black soap - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_black_soap) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2024, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392/20 "2024-10-03T14:01:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Why is there such a thing as black soap? On my first visit to New Orleans I stopped in at a voodoo shop to get my kids some souvenirs. I got my daughter “anti-envy soap”. It was black. I had a priest bless it for a couple extra bucks. It was meant to allow her to be beautiful, but keep others from envying her beauty. I got my son a chicken foot that he swears brought him good luck right up to the day it started to stink. > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I saw a dog that learned sign-language just through usage in a deaf household Our dog Ella (RIP) loved to chase squirrels. If we said the word (squirrel) she would go bonkers, so we called them S.Q.s. Now if we refer to squirrels in the yard we still call them S.Q.s even though Ella is gone and the dogs we have do not know the word, [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-items-i-ask-myself-during-a-weird-time-in-my-life/1008392.md?page=2)