# 7-Up is owned by Satanic Freemasons, no matter what they say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812 "2003-09-10T18:56:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/21 "2003-09-11T15:52:02Z")
Satanic or not, do you think the masons would repoint my foundations for free if I drank enough 7-Up? After watching 7-Up commercials for the past few years, I have no trouble believing that it is a product of Ultimate Evil. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/22 "2003-09-11T16:30:23Z")
Pepsi has ‘Sierra Mist’, their knockoff of Sprite/7-Up. My problem now is that the only diet soda in the fridge is Diet Pepsi, and every single can is labeled with an expiration date of Feb 17 2003. It tastes remarkably plastic-y, with a vague metallic hint to it. I probably shouldn’t drink it, but the only other choice is water, and we all know how that’s a communist plot to steal our precious bodily fluids. I wonder if Pepsi is tied into this Satanic Freemason plot as well. There’s no other reason why these sodas taste … off. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/23 "2003-09-11T18:11:08Z")
There is a REXAM building off one of Chicago expressways. I always assumed it was some kind of industrial automated rectal exam equipment manufacturer. Made of aluminum, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/24 "2003-09-11T18:14:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FriarTed \* > \*\*the answer is Pepsi. > > Coke has…a Dr Pepper knockoff whose name i can’t recall (it is just as good tho) \*\* That would be Mr. Pibb. Also known as the sweet, sweet Nectar of the Gods. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/25 "2003-09-11T18:31:56Z")
I thought 7-Up was caffeine free. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/26 "2003-09-11T20:52:08Z")
You’re saying “7-Up is owned by Satanic Freemasons” as if it were a bad thing … 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/27 "2003-09-11T20:53:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Finagle \* > \*\*Satanic or not, do you think the masons would repoint my foundations for free if I drank enough 7-Up? \*\* Of course! After all, they’re known as _free_masons! ---
**Author:** ![Bean\_Counter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/db5fbb/32.png) [@Bean\_Counter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bean_Counter)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/28 "2003-09-11T22:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > \*\*I’ll destroy the can. I won’t recycle it. Recycling would allow this scourge to continue its reign. I must take this can to the Cracks of Doom in Mordor. Yea, unto the ends of the earth I will continue this quest, until all of mankind can live free of the Red Eye. \*\* Hee hee… “Fellowship of the Ring” meets “The Gods Must Be Crazy”. Xi Baggins… ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/29 "2003-09-11T22:36:27Z")
I love Squirt, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/30 "2003-09-11T23:14:35Z")
Squirt is the nectar, verily. Dr Pepper is next. Though remember, it originated in Waco! Home of Branch Davidians :eek: and Baylor University. :eek: Something fishy is going on in Waco…; ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/31 "2003-09-11T23:43:03Z")
So now would not be the time to mention that both of my brothers work for the 7UP distributor in Boise, right? But they’re not evil, I swear it. They bring me cases of Snapple and A&W cream soda and GreenRiver for my stepfather when they come to visit. Their warehouse stocks neither coke, nor pepsi products as far as I know. Besides, they would tell me if they were part of the conspiracy. Right? ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/32 "2003-09-11T23:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AskNott \* > \*\ ***dnL** is the Auntie Kristen! They didn’t fool me with that hokey leprechaun! Ha! \*\* Well I gotta admit this post scared the pants off of me. I read _Aunt Krisfer_ and ran to the door to see if that white van across the street had moved… ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/33 "2003-09-12T02:15:35Z")
Wow, that almost makes me not wish to drink 7-Up anymore. Thanks a lot, Emo, for spoiling one of my favorite drinks. _sigh_ Back to Sprite… ---
**Author:** ![DynoSaur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DynoSaur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DynoSaur)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/34 "2003-09-12T03:13:19Z")
Whatever you do, be careful around strange visitors from out of town in the near future; they could be part of the Satanic Freemason conspiracy… ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/35 "2003-09-12T03:39:22Z")
Of course 7-up is evil. Otherwise, why would they have shown that comercial ~2 years ago where they basically said: Make 7 UP YOURS ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/36 "2003-09-12T06:28:48Z")
“Rexam” is obviously an abbreviation for “Rectal Examination.” That means the anal-probing aliens are involved in this somehow… ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/37 "2003-09-12T06:36:09Z")
Wow. That’s one diabolical plan they have there. One question: Where does Canada Dry Ginger Ale fit into all this? ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/38 "2003-09-12T07:25:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stephi \* > \*\*Wow. That’s one diabolical plan they have there. > > One question: > > Where does Canada Dry Ginger Ale fit into all this? \*\* I suppose you think that that _Canada Dry Ginger Ale_ can be rearranged to spell _An Alien Draggy Cadre_ is some sort of coincidence?! It’s clear to me that Transvestite Transexuals from Transylvania are behind all of this… ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/39 "2003-09-12T14:07:17Z")
REXAM ~ rectal examination \<\> make 7 _UP YOURS_ ~clearly~ the tinfoil brigades ROAM at midnight - alien cadres! the !draggy Ca **nad** ian aliens are here they are coming ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812/40 "2003-09-12T16:02:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > > \*\* “…the dogscan come out and play.” > :eek: \*\* DOGSCAN! Now they’ve got robotic ninja pirate zombie dogs on you! Man, your ass is grass. Nice knowin’ you… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/7-up-is-owned-by-satanic-freemasons-no-matter-what-they-say/200812.md?page=3)