# 90 days in jail!? - Can't a man make love to a pumpkin in his basement in peace? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2002, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961 "2002-10-12T15:07:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mandielise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58956e/32.png) [@mandielise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mandielise)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/41 "2002-10-18T16:41:06Z")
Troy, that was definately odd. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/42 "2002-10-18T17:08:53Z")
> [@](#): > > All these posts and nobody has used :o Haaaa! What if he had masturbated into a blueberry? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/43 "2002-10-18T17:14:13Z")
What do you want to bet he was listening to the _Smashing Pumpkins_ at the time? ---
**Author:** ![tigereye001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@tigereye001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tigereye001)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/44 "2004-03-21T23:54:15Z")
> [@astro](#): > > From the Smoking Gun > > [Picture of Perverted Perpetrator](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/patton1.html) Ahhh, but the incident you mentioned in your quote “Meet Bill Patton…” _did_ happen, according to Snopes… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/45 "2004-03-22T00:00:51Z")
From snopes: > [@](#): > > _Ostension_ is a folkloric term for the process of unwittingly acting out or mimicking the greater part (if not the entirety) of an urban legend that is already part of the body of lore. More simply, if the events described in an urban legend which had been around since 1950 actually did indeed spontaneously play out in real life in 1992, that would be an example of ostension. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/46 "2004-03-22T00:28:43Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > What if he had masturbated into a blueberry? Blueberries are kind of, y’know, _small_… not to mention that they’re squishy and turn you purple. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/47 "2004-03-22T00:40:51Z")
Zombi thread! Zombi thread! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/48 "2004-03-22T00:43:14Z")
> [@ErinPuff](#): > > Blueberries are kind of, y’know, _small_… not to mention that they’re squishy and turn you purple. At least they’d come with cream. Wow. Old thread. But I missed it the first time, so I’m happy to add my pun to the list. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/49 "2004-03-22T11:19:12Z")
A pumpkin? WHY would anyone want to do it with a PUMPKIN? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/50 "2004-03-22T11:30:41Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/sex/caught/pumpkin.htm) has already dismissed this as a false urban legend (and their version includes the hysterical punchline, which I won’t spoil here). > > I’m guessing thesmokinggun’s journalistic standards are somewhere in the neighborhood of the _National Enquirer_’s. Dude, you really have to learn to read the whole article. here is the last paragraph of the article you linked: > [@](#): > > Although 1998’s Malcolm Davidson and his “Is it midnight already” line were wholly fictional,\*\* the key element of this tale did play out in real life at least once. In September 2002, Bill Patton of Macomb, Michigan, was sentenced to ninety days in the hoosegow for indecent exposure stemming from a 2000 incident during which neighbors saw him masturbate in his back yard then saw him through his basement window pleasuring himself with a pumpkin\*\*. His crime lay in being seen — one is allowed to love vegetables as much as one wants, provided one doesn’t do it in public. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961/51 "2004-03-22T13:47:31Z")
As long as the pumpkin was mature and gave consent, I don’t see a problem, although a long-term monogamous Human-Cucurbit relationship seems unlikely to work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/90-days-in-jail-cant-a-man-make-love-to-a-pumpkin-in-his-basement-in-peace/131961.md?page=2)