# 99 best and/or worst pick up lines of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900 "2008-09-30T19:12:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/1 "2008-09-30T19:12:28Z")
1. You look familiar. Have you ever done Internet porn? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/2 "2008-09-30T19:16:07Z")
From **Shelia Levine is Dead and Well and Living in New York** Him: I’d like to fuck you. Her: For how many minutee? Him: Is that a nice question? Her: Yours was nice? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/3 "2008-09-30T19:27:43Z")
Hi, I’m hard, are you wet? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/4 "2008-09-30T19:38:08Z")
All those curves, and me with no brakes. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/5 "2008-09-30T19:41:28Z")
One of the best and the worst: So, you come here often? Context is everything. At a bar, this is good. At the free clinic downtown… ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/6 "2008-09-30T19:42:39Z")
I’ve used this one more than a few times. It always got a smile, and many times, a lot more. **I bet you’re getting tired of every guy in the bar coming up to you and telling you how good looking you are.** And I heard a comedian use this line years ago, but I still think it’s funny. **Can I buy you a drink, or should I just give you the five bucks?** ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/7 "2008-09-30T19:48:42Z")
“Do you fuck?” “I do now you smooth talking bastard” ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/8 "2008-09-30T19:50:24Z")
I burnt my tongue. Can you kiss it better? ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/9 "2008-09-30T20:30:43Z")
him: Can I buy you a drink? her: I have a boyfriend. him: Well so do I, but you don’t see me going on and on about it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/10 "2008-09-30T20:33:04Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > “Do you fuck?” > > “I do now you smooth talking bastard” To an attractive counter girl: “When do you get off?” “Every time.” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/11 "2008-09-30T20:41:53Z")
“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” “You must be tired, because you were running through my dreams all night!” “I heard there’s a party in your mouth, and I’d love to come!” ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/12 "2008-09-30T21:05:24Z")
Recounted to me by a friend this weekend, who had it used as an opening line on her in a club: “I bet your nipples taste like Hershey’s kisses.” Pictured as spoken by a drunk Oklahoman, it’s even better. And by better I mean terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/13 "2008-09-30T21:13:21Z")
My all-time favorite: “Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.” ---
**Author:** ![ChadVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@ChadVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChadVader)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/14 "2008-09-30T22:14:47Z")
“You know how some men driver really expensive sports cars to overcompensate for certain… shortcomings? Well, I don’t even own a car.” ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/15 "2008-09-30T22:29:55Z")
Once when a buddy of mine and I were chatting up two young females, he used this gem: “If you could find a machine to turn dogshit into gold you’d be rich”. I think he was trying to be funny and not imply she was rife with dig shit but yeah… didn’t end well. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_FNG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Some\_FNG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_FNG)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/16 "2008-09-30T23:34:22Z")
Hello. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/17 "2008-10-01T00:13:11Z")
Wanna come back to my place and play with my Wii? (Honestly not sure if that’s good or bad) ---
**Author:** ![stucco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@stucco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stucco)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/18 "2008-10-01T00:37:26Z")
Biology nerd checking in. If i were an enxyme, I’d be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your jeans. ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/19 "2008-10-01T02:37:19Z")
Licks finger and puts to his/her shoulder whilst murmering “let’s get YOU out of those WET clothes” “What’s your sign” (if I liked the guy) “slippery when wet” “What’s your sign” (if I wasn’t interested) “no entry” ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/20 "2008-10-01T02:54:14Z")
For the mathematicians: “Hey baby, let me integrate your curves.” For the physicists: “Want to learn about penetrating the classically forbidden region?” For the biologists: “Do you watch the Discovery Channel? You know we’re just mammals?” For the chemists: “You are so hot that your entropic contribution makes our reaction thermodynamically favorable” For anyone: “What’s your favorite breakfast?” and I’m waiting, but no one’s ever asked me: “Is that a large Hadron in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” yeah… I don’t get out much… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900.md?page=2)