# 99 best and/or worst pick up lines of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900 "2008-09-30T19:12:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/41 "2008-10-02T02:23:20Z")
My dad swears he actually used to use this one… :: go up to woman, put your hand on her shoulder :: “Is this shirt cotton, or can it be felt?” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/42 "2008-10-02T02:28:16Z")
**Medium** You: Are you from Tennessee? Her: No why? You: Because you only 10 I see in here **Worse** You are looking good tonight. Have you had an AIDS test recently? **Worst** I have been cruising the high school all day and you are the most decent one yet. Want a ride? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/43 "2008-10-02T02:42:02Z")
Excuse me does this cloth smell of ether? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/44 "2008-10-02T02:45:28Z")
Now, see, a lot of y’all aren’t specifying if your post contains “best” or “worst”. I mean, what if someone were lurking in the thread and trying to take notes? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/45 "2008-10-02T03:33:50Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Now, see, a lot of y’all aren’t specifying if your post contains “best” or “worst”. I mean, what if someone were lurking in the thread and trying to take notes? Hilarity will ensue, and it will be awesome (for us at least…) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/46 "2008-10-02T04:25:37Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Now, see, a lot of y’all aren’t specifying if your post contains “best” or “worst”. I mean, what if someone were lurking in the thread and trying to take notes? Don’t worry about the small stuff. I will pick you up in 20 minutes. Please bring a jar of Vaseline and a spatula. If you don’t have it, I will pick up them on the way over. What is the address for Mapquest? I wouldn’t want to pick up some random guy on the street. That would be icky. I have deeply held morality after all. ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/47 "2008-10-02T05:42:21Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Don’t worry about the small stuff. I will pick you up in 20 minutes. Please bring a jar of Vaseline and a spatula. If you don’t have it, I will pick up them on the way over. What is the address for Mapquest? I wouldn’t want to pick up some random guy on the street. That would be icky. I have deeply held morality after all. Aww, you charmer, you. My favorite is partly physical: “Hi, can I show you something? I’ll need your hand.” [Take her hand.] “So, there’s a bunny here” [point on her hand] “and a carrot here” [elsewhere on her hand] “and a river in between them” [draw line with finger on her hand.] “Now, the bunny really wants that carrot, but he can’t swim, and he can’t fly, and he can’t go around the hand. So what does he do?” …presumably she says “I don’t know.” “Actually, I don’t know either. I just wanted to hold your hand.” I’ve never actually used that, but there was one occasion where a friend of mine and I were sitting in one corner of our school library, and another (female) classmate of ours was walking back and forth in front of us every few minutes for some reason, so we tried every pickup line we could remember on the poor girl. She turned a very lovely shade of red. Good memories. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/48 "2008-10-02T05:55:13Z")
The best pick-up line is a line of white powder. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/49 "2008-10-02T06:08:21Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The best pick-up line is a line of white powder. As long as its not ajax bathroom cleaner Declan ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/50 "2008-11-28T22:49:26Z")
Dude: “Hey, I wanted to invite you back to my place for pizza and sex” Chick: “What?!?!?” Dude: “You don’t like pizza?” ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/51 "2008-11-28T23:38:47Z")
Best: I lost my phone number- can I have yours? Worst: What do I have to drink to get someone to sleep with around here? ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/52 "2008-11-29T00:21:35Z")
Haaaaave you met Ted? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/53 "2008-11-29T00:51:50Z")
Best: “Let’s blow this pop stand.” Worst: “Anybody ever tell you you look kinda like Carol Burnett? Yeah? Well, I’ve always fantasized about sucking her toes…Hey, can you do the voice, too?” ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/54 "2008-11-29T04:34:01Z")
“Does this rag smell funny to you?” ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/55 "2008-11-29T07:24:24Z")
Back when I was young… I had an “I’m with STUPID!” T-shirt, but the arrow pointed straight down… It worked a charm… FML ---
**Author:** ![JollyGoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dec6dc/32.png) [@JollyGoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JollyGoon)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/56 "2008-11-29T09:36:03Z")
Best: Hi (with a smile and then look a little flustered) Ummm… Wow, you made me forget my best pick-up line… what about a drink now and i’ll come back later with something to say? (give 'em your best smile) This one usually gets a smile from them, at least enough to start a conversation. Worst: I might not be the most handsome of men, but I’m the one talking to you. My friends and I came up with the 9 slap rule, which is ‘you might get slapped nine times but you’ll get a smile on the 10th go, hopefully’. Usually true for me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/57 "2008-11-29T10:15:47Z")
“Come on, you think you can do much better?” ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/58 "2008-11-29T11:28:12Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Please bring a jar of Vaseline and a spatula. Ladle, isn’t it? No Vaseline required, from what I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900/59 "2008-11-29T14:39:53Z")
Ancient ones still make me laugh as long as the guy knows it’s funny and that it’s never going to work. The most recent was Him: I love your hair. Do you have any French in you? Me: No Him: Would you like some? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-best-and-or-worst-pick-up-lines-of-all-time/465900.md?page=2)