# 99 cent Store is Like Bizzaro Supermarket

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 3, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233 "2002-07-03T18:38:18Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233/21 "2002-07-07T00:43:56Z")

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I once went to a dollar store that was going out of business. Everything was 68 cents. I kid you not. I could have spent hours in that super-discount fairyland.

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**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233/22 "2002-07-07T01:05:10Z")

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**racin** , please say that you’ve held the bust up in the air, shook it back and forth, and said “Let’s get busy!” in your best Ike voice.

And please say you recognize what I’m talking about so I don’t sound so insane.

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233/23 "2002-07-07T02:32:50Z")

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Oooh! Oooh! I just got back from the Dollar Store!  
[sup](We call them Loonie Stores in Canada, which makes it even more fun. That’s probably the only good thing about our one-dollar coins being nicknamed “loonies.”)[/sup]

I had such a hard time not buying useless toys just because they made me laugh.

They had a battery-operated “bump 'n go” tank – a crappy toy, no doubt, but the packaging _kicked ass_ – it promised:

> [@](#):
>
> **FORMERLY EXPERTLY-TRAINED COMMANDO UNITS!  
> (not suitable for children under 36 months)**

That one made me laugh out-loud. I didn’t think it could get any better, until I found a bootleg “BATMAN” action figure, called “BAT KNIGHT” The box was actually pretty slick-looking for knock-off toys – four-colour printing, with photos lifted from “Batman and Robin,” and nearly a full page of hyperbolic copy about the “Twisted Alternate Universe Gotham City.” The only thing that was puzzling about it was the printing superimposed over Batman’s face:

> [@](#):
>
> **GET READY TO CRUMBLE OBSCURE!**

Actually, I get it now. Obscurity = Darkness. Ergo, “Prepare to die, forces of darkness.” Lousy phrase-book, I guess. I liked it better when I thought it was just craziness. Never mind.

I got some waay-cool dishrags, though.

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**Author:** ![Sunup\_Cheerful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sunup\_Cheerful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunup_Cheerful)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-cent-store-is-like-bizzaro-supermarket/117233/24 "2002-07-07T04:10:38Z")

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I was amazed the one I went into.  
Wanted to buy something but couldn’t find anything I needed.  
So I got a 6-way electric socket thingie.  
I kept thinking - Okay, you got me in here, now show me something I’d really buy.

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