# 99 least-sexy words to use while making love to your lady **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350 "2014-02-14T18:00:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/1 "2014-02-14T18:00:03Z")
Fellas, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I figure it’s time to unleash the list of 99 Least-Sexy Words to Use While Making Love to Your Lady[sup]TM[/sup]. Ladies, feel free to contribute. Fellas, feel free to take notes, or to add words that you’ve said in the past that have contributed to an angry twisting of your testicles by your lady during sweet coitus. Gay men, I would love to see a list of 99 Least-Sexy Words to Use While Making Gay Love to a Man. -Trough -Dump -Cottage cheese -Sandpaper -Sewage -Mommy -Igloo -Macintosh -Poland -Grapes -Turnstile -Grover -Ant (not to be confused with “aunt,” which is a-ok.) -Turtleneck -Moist -Vulgar -Spelunking -Dictator -Francis ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/2 "2014-02-14T18:02:21Z")
‘Sally’ (when your SO’s name is “Linda”) ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/3 "2014-02-14T18:03:33Z")
“Horsebutt” “giddyap” is ok tho for some. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/4 "2014-02-14T18:05:55Z")
What’s wrong with “moist?” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/5 "2014-02-14T18:11:44Z")
Diarrhea ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/6 "2014-02-14T18:14:56Z")
receipt ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/7 "2014-02-14T18:20:52Z")
Transaction. Infested. Incest. Disection. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/8 "2014-02-14T18:24:05Z")
Landlord ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/9 "2014-02-14T18:26:16Z")
From personal experience: don’t say rolls. Don’t say anything that might _sound_ like rolls. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/10 "2014-02-14T18:26:31Z")
Yeast. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/11 "2014-02-14T18:27:50Z")
“Uh-oh”. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/12 "2014-02-14T18:40:45Z")
Fatso. Shrinkage. Holocaust. (Eva Braun excepted.) Barf. Schmuck. Infection. Gottfried. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/13 "2014-02-14T18:44:16Z")
-Husky -Flap -Grain -Critter -Flipper ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/14 "2014-02-14T18:57:47Z")
The name of your SOs sibling (if sibling is same sex as SO) ---
**Author:** ![wolfstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d6d6ee/32.png) [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/15 "2014-02-14T19:23:58Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > -Francis Hey! That’s my name! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/16 "2014-02-14T19:28:12Z")
Semprini. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/17 "2014-02-14T19:39:45Z")
> [@wolfstu](#): > > Hey! That’s my name! ☹ Avoid calling out your own name, and you should be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/18 "2014-02-14T19:41:04Z")
-Crematorium -Smegma -Trapezoid -Menopause ---
**Author:** ![wolfstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d6d6ee/32.png) [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/19 "2014-02-14T19:42:18Z")
So much for my habit of augmenting sexiness by referring to myself in the third person throughout! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350/20 "2014-02-14T19:47:29Z")
Ouch! There was a time, early on, when my wife was inspired to talk about bank accounts and car payments in the bedroom. It pissed me off, and finally, the next time she did it I got out of bed and got dressed. It never happened again. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-least-sexy-words-to-use-while-making-love-to-your-lady/681350.md?page=2)