# 99 signs Cecil is DEAD, DEAD, oh so very DEAD! (Happy Valentine's Day, btw) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2007, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159 "2007-02-14T08:10:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/1 "2007-02-14T08:10:28Z")
-He hasn’t posted to the SDMB since Dec. 27, 2005 -Hasn’t shown up for our standing lunch date at Lula Cafe in almost three years -There’s a large, oddly placed pile of snow on his front lawn. -If you play Three Dog Night’s “Mama Told Me not to Come” backwards, you can distinctly hear the words “Satan says shop at Saks,” which really isn’t relevant, but right after that you can distinctly hear “Adams won’t live to see aught seven.” -On deadline day, Zotti is often seen furiously typing with an Encyclopedia Britannica on his lap. -Foul stench coming from his shed; worse than usual. -Unidentified body floated up on beach in Australia last year wearing a T-Shirt that said “Perfect Master.” Plus, the corpse’s stomach was full of Circus Peanuts, which is (was) obviously Cecil’s favorite food. Corpse mysteriously disappeared from coroner’s office. -Ignorance is at record highs in the U.S. -Last activity on his Visa was in January 2006, when he purchased a one-way ticket to Nepal. One can only assume this had something to do the People’s Liberation Army announcing an end to their four-month truce with the Nepalese monarchy. -Recent increase in use of guest columnist Pia Zadora. -Netflix records show he’s had same copy of “Blues Brothers 2000” for over fourteen months now. 1. Has not shown up at, or even RSVP’d for, my bi-annual New Years Eve Party EVER! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/2 "2007-02-14T08:23:22Z")
-Dirk Renton of Folwerville, MI never received the autographed photo of Darius Rucker he purchased from **CecAdams69** on eBay in November of 2005. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/3 "2007-02-14T09:21:54Z")
- 'Cause there’s a hole in my soul, that’s been killing me forever… ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/4 "2007-02-14T09:38:46Z")
I was cutting up some cheese for a recipe the other day. As I was dicing a slice of cheese, I realized what I was looking at… A DICED SLICE! Don’t you see?!? It’s an anagram! CECIL IS DEAD! [sub]either that or something about dead icicles…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/5 "2007-02-14T09:57:34Z")
I think that there is no coincidence in the white Stig in Top Gear emerging and Cecil disappearing. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/6 "2007-02-14T12:54:13Z")
99 signs that Cecil is dead 99 signs that he’s dead Take one down, pass it around 98 signs that Cecil is dead… ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/7 "2007-02-14T14:13:02Z")
- nothing witty to add, just had to second this statement: **-Ignorance is at record highs in the U.S.** ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/8 "2007-02-14T14:22:20Z")
Good research, Happy. Here are some clues I’ve picked up: His signature “I will be dead before February 14, 2007” suddenly makes sense. Batman hasn’t been spotted since 2005 Announcement in Raleigh News and Observer: “Cecil Adams is Dead” Mrs. Adams is still wearing her black haltertop. Seen in 2005 on a beach in Florida eating chocolate saying: “This chocolate will be the death of me!” He continued to eat chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/9 "2007-02-14T14:59:50Z")
-Clint Howard showed up at the Oscars with a woman ID’d by People magazine as “the Widow Adams, far left.” Odd, considering Clint Howard is happily married. Even odder is what Clint Howard was doing at the Oscars. -The editor of the Reader is driving around town in a new Mercedes, which cost the exact amount Cecil would’ve made last year were he still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/10 "2007-02-14T15:27:55Z")
- Chicago Reader runs “classic” Straight Dope questions on whizzy technology such as VCR Plus+ and digital watches, rather than bringing the Perfect Master to bear on 21st century quandaries. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/11 "2007-02-14T15:41:00Z")
Maybe he just went to Aruba for Vacation… ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/12 "2007-02-14T15:46:02Z")
• You think by now, Cecil would have claimed that _he_ is the father of the late Anna Nicole Smith’s child. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/13 "2007-02-14T17:18:43Z")
- Chuck Norris came out of hiding ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/14 "2007-02-14T17:27:06Z")
But… Cecil sent me an e-mail yesterday promising me larger and longer-lasting erections – he _can’t_ be dead! I know it was Cecil because that’s what the “From:” field of the e-mail header said, and everyone knows _that_ can’t be faked! I’d post it to cite the proof, but there were some naughty bits that would violate the two-link rule. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/15 "2007-02-14T17:27:56Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder] -Dirk Renton of Folwerville, MI never received the autographed photo of Darius Rucker he purchased from **CecAdams69** on eBay in November of 2005. [/QUOTE] Eh. **CecAdams69** was obviously a fraud and sent the shirt to the Williamston post office. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/16 "2007-02-14T17:38:54Z")
Northwestern University’s mailed requests for Alumni contributions keep coming back unopened. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/17 "2007-02-14T17:57:14Z")
- I saw his picture on a grilled cheese sandwich the other day. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/18 "2007-02-14T18:01:11Z")
- Cecil Adams’ zombie just ate my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/19 "2007-02-14T18:04:49Z")
[QUOTE=dnooman] I was cutting up some cheese for a recipe the other day. [/QUOTE] DO you suppose you could be prevailed upon to keep it to yourself when you are cutting the cheese? Thanks awfully. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159/20 "2007-02-14T18:19:43Z")
[QUOTE=slortar] - Cecil Adams’ zombie just ate my brain. [/QUOTE] Obviously, **Cecil** ’s _second_ demise involves malnutrition, in some fashion. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-signs-cecil-is-dead-dead-oh-so-very-dead-happy-valentines-day-btw/392159.md?page=2)