7777777, are you familiar with the idea of modular arithmetic?
For example, mod 10 arithmetic. This is where we work with whole numbers, but decide two numbers count as “=” so long as their difference is a multiple of 10 (for numbers of the same sign, this amounts to them having the same last digit). So, for example, we’ll say 27 = 7, and thus 3 * 9 = 7, in mod 10 arithmetic.
You might object “3 * 9 isn’t 7! 3 * 9 is 27. 27 and 7 are totally different!”. And that’s true… as integers, 27 and 7 are very different.
But, “=” is just a symbol and we can use it however we want. We might choose to use it as meaning mod 10 equivalence rather than integer equivalence. And on that definition, 3 * 9 = 27 = 7.
Put another way, we might say we are working with a different notion of number than integers; we are working with mod10numbers, which are a lot like integers, but coarser-grained. As integers, 27 and 7 are different; as mod10numbers, they are the same.
There are lots of ways to think about what’s going on when we do modular arithmetic. You can think about it however you like. But, are you comfortable with that sort of thing?
Great, because I’m going to help you understand the language everyone else is using now!
You have a notion of number in mind under which 0.999… and 1 are distinct numbers, separated by an infinitesimal difference. There’s nothing wrong with this notion of number. And you can go ahead and say 0.999… is not = to 1 as a straight-up number.
But for whatever stupid reason, everyone around you is using “a = b” to mean “the difference between a and b is an infinitesimal”. Everyone around you doesn’t like to talk about straight-up numbers, but only likes to talk about mod-infinitesimals-bers.
And you wouldn’t deny that 0.999… = 1 when “=” is taken to mean “are equivalent up to an infinitesimal difference”. That’s a true claim, just as “27 = 7 (in mod 10 land)” is a true claim.
Similarly, you would likely agree that 1/7 is equivalent to 0.142857142857… up to an infinitesimal difference, and so on.
So to understand what everyone else is saying, just translate it into your head by understanding that they aren’t working in “true arithmetic”, but only in “mod infinitesimals arithmetic”. And this is an ok thing to think and talk about, just like mod 10 arithmetic is an ok thing to think and talk about.
It’s a pity they aren’t so interested in the finer distinctions between numbers which you are capable of appreciating in “true arithmetic” (really!), but they aren’t completely misguided. They’re just using words a little differently than you do.
Does any of that make sense?