# A 15-year-old girl has a crush on me, apparently. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716 "2008-10-13T14:42:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/41 "2008-10-13T23:03:16Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I teach high school. I’m also a member of the school’s security and safety committee. I’ve been at this since 1985. > You need to stay away from that high school in general and her in particular. > Really. > If you need a transcript or something, that’d be different. You’re just going to “visit your friends.” > Visit them at their homes. > The school is absolutely-fucking-not there as a place for a college sophomore to keep his social life vital. > You have no real business there. > If you were coming to my school, you’d long since have been told to get on with your life. Too bad. It seems like the more a community takes interest in a school, the better it could be. E.g. when an alum comes back and hey, he’s doing great in college or has already started in the field, it could show the current students that if they work they can do it too. YMMV. As for my high school, I went back once. I had been in band and returned for a concert. I had low expectations going in, though, as I had seen others come back while I was still in school. Whereas some current high schoolers might have been great friends with those returning when they were in school, there was no big love festival upon their return. Once. That was, as expected, enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/42 "2008-10-13T23:54:19Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Too bad. It seems like the more a community takes interest in a school, the better it could be. E.g. when an alum comes back and hey, he’s doing great in college or has already started in the field, it could show the current students that if they work they can do it too. YMMV. > > As for my high school, I went back once. I had been in band and returned for a concert. I had low expectations going in, though, as I had seen others come back while I was still in school. Whereas some current high schoolers might have been great friends with those returning when they were in school, there was no big love festival upon their return. > > Once. That was, as expected, enough for me. How quaint. Come back and tell me this again when you are dealing with girls getting pregnant in middle school and having multiple children by the time they graduate…if they ever do. Multiple metric assloads of public resources and personal energy on the part of administrators and teachers get expended every year to allow teens who get pregnant to still complete a high school education. We hammer highschool boys who want to troll the middle school. We hammer graduates who want to hang around the high school. You graduated…or at least you completed what time you were ever going to spend here. Get on with your life and let these kids get on with theirs. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/43 "2008-10-13T23:56:02Z")
In the immortal words of Andre Williams, “Fifteen, sixteeen, seventeen, that’s…_jail bait_.” (And, in case you were wondering, “Seventeen and half is…still…_jail bait_.”) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/44 "2008-10-14T00:04:47Z")
**Scumpup** is right. Stay away. Never see or speak to her again. Even if you do nothing improper, the consequences of what she could do to you, with one lie, uttered in spite, are devastating. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/45 "2008-10-14T00:10:50Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Even if you do nothing improper, the consequences of what she could do to you, with one lie, uttered in spite, are devastating. Or with one lay… BADAH-BING! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/46 "2008-10-14T00:13:50Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > How quaint. Come back and tell me this again when you are dealing with girls getting pregnant in middle school and having multiple children by the time they graduate…if they ever do. Multiple metric assloads of public resources and personal energy on the part of administrators and teachers get expended every year to allow teens who get pregnant to still complete a high school education. We hammer highschool boys who want to troll the middle school. We hammer graduates who want to hang around the high school. > You graduated…or at least you completed what time you were ever going to spend here. > Get on with your life and let these kids get on with theirs. Did you miss the “Too bad” part of my post? Maybe for schools in some locations, it has to be that way and granted, with terrorism, Columbine, etc. we’ve shed a lot of innocence. Keeping high school boys and middle school boys out of lower grades is different than the OP’s case however, because students are minors and likely supposed to be in their own classes at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/47 "2008-10-14T00:20:28Z")
The OP is a college sophomore. He’s been out of high school a couple years now. He can visit his high school age chums in their homes if he wants to see them. Unless he needs a transcript or the like, he has no business there. The kids who are still in school are there for their classes and other school activities…not to visit with the OP. I don’t see why there is even any discussion of this. He needs to grow up and move on. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/48 "2008-10-14T00:28:22Z")
@scumpup, in the OP’s case, if I’m reading this right he had a legitimate reason and was probably invited. > [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > Later, we gathered in the choir room to rehearse the song we were performing that evening, and one of the girls saw me and called my name excitedly. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/49 "2008-10-14T00:28:53Z")
I’m a bit puzzled by all the “run away” messages here. When I was 15, 16, most of the girls at school my age were going out with guys four or five years older. That’s just the way it works. Of course, in the eyes of the law a girl 15 years 11 months and three weeks old is a child, then suddenly the following week it’s all good, but 20/15 is hardly child molesting territory! Edit: above post based on UK age of consent. Your arbitrary laws may vary. Do not sleep with underage girls. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/50 "2008-10-14T00:41:14Z")
If she’s the kind of person who does this with everyone, she’s probably quite naive and innocent. This is good. Do not disillusion her. It’s a good sign if her life has been free enough of threats, self-doubt, and self-consciousness that she can still be this way at 15. You can be friends with her, but don’t let it progress any further. And sure, I went back to my high school a few times during my freshman year of college. I was really bored on Christmas and spring breaks when they didn’t line up with other friends’ and I wanted to see a whole bunch of people, some of whom I didn’t have contact information for, and some of whom were teachers. There’s a long-standing tradition of former students returning and being made to recite their various accomplishments by the teacher in that class. If a high school was a nice enough place that you’d actually want to return there, why not? ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/51 "2008-10-14T00:50:09Z")
Is she hot? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/52 "2008-10-14T01:51:30Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Is she hot? … … …did you miss the part where I said she’s 15 and I’m 20? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/53 "2008-10-14T01:56:28Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > The OP is a college sophomore. He’s been out of high school a couple years now. He can visit his high school age chums in their homes if he wants to see them. Unless he needs a transcript or the like, he has no business there. The kids who are still in school are there for their classes and other school activities…not to visit with the OP. > I don’t see why there is even any discussion of this. He needs to grow up and move on. The administration disagrees with you. Our teachers are glad to see us, and they don’t mind us coming into class (with, I think, the unspoken understanding that we don’t enter during a class too often). I had nice conversations with my old English and History teachers. And as **appleciders** said, they occasionally have little events where alumni come back and talk to seniors about preparing for college. As for visiting them at home, my old high school serves 110 square miles of Northern Virginia. Visiting more than one person in one day would be difficult and time-consuming, especially since I already have to drive over a hundred miles to get there. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/54 "2008-10-14T02:13:00Z")
Boo-hoo. Move on. Although you may not consider yourself an adult, the law says otherwise. If you’ve been invited there by admin or faculty, that’s one thing. You’ve told us right here in this thread 1. You go back several times a year. 2. You don’t consider yourself an adult. 3. You are getting an ego boost from this girl. 4. You want to visit friends at the HS because it is convenient for you. I daresay none of this constitutes a good mix of reasons for you, an adult, to be in a high school where you are not an employee. Grow up, move on, leave the kids alone. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/55 "2008-10-14T02:30:05Z")
Wow, aren’t you all being too cautious, to the point of throttling living a reasonable life? What next, are you going to recommend he never leaves his house in case someone under the age of 18 walks past him? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/56 "2008-10-14T02:41:36Z")
I don’t know, I mean, it’s not like he’s accidentally going to commit statutory rape, right? He already said he has no untoward intentions, so what’s the big deal? Are we supposed to segregate all girls under the age of 18 from older men in case they get pregnant or raped? ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/57 "2008-10-14T02:43:08Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Boo-hoo. Move on. Although you may not consider yourself an adult, the law says otherwise. If you’ve been invited there by admin or faculty, that’s one thing. You’ve told us right here in this thread > > 1. You go back several times a year. > 2. You don’t consider yourself an adult. > 3. You are getting an ego boost from this girl. > 4. You want to visit friends at the HS because it is convenient for you. > I daresay none of this constitutes a good mix of reasons for you, an adult, to be in a high school where you are not an employee. Grow up, move on, leave the kids alone. Err, what magic do you think happens at high school graduation?. He’s young, he has some _slightly_ younger friends and is perhaps keeping up with his teachers. No real story here. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/58 "2008-10-14T02:43:26Z")
No. I’m saying that the high school isn’t there to provide him, an adult, with a convenient social center and place to get his ego boosted. Especially under NCLB, there are 9 million other things those students (and their teachers) should be doing that don’t require the OP’s presence. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/59 "2008-10-14T02:44:35Z")
What the hell? I go back to my high school all the time to visit, especially the band. Considering none of the current people knew how to get water for practice I had to help a couple times so they knew all the little tricks… I volunteer to help set stuff up, I do stuff over email for the teacher. Hell, I’m practically in the band without actually being in the band anymore. I also should mention I’ve never done anything with anyone outside of school since 7th grade, I don’t KNOW where their houses are and I don’t have their contact info (working on that), it’s the only time I get to visit them. Now, I don’t go during class (well, once I visited my band teacher during his free period, but that’s about it), I go after school, between practice and school usually every few weeks\* when I have a vacation to drive down. The teachers love us coming back, they catch up with us, ask us how things are going, answer questions on their subject (if they come up, of course, it’s not like we go to ask our teachers for help). The administration actually encourages our alumni to come back and stay connected to the school, hell Gabrielle Giffords (our Congresswoman) is an alumni and she still talks to the AP Government teacher from time to time. We have dozens of alumni that still visit from time to time and not once have they ever even hinted we shouldn’t come back, in fact some kids have been told to come back MORE. Maybe it’s different because I’m from a small, selective enrollment/test in public school, but we’re encouraged and welcomed to come back by all levels of faculty and student (aside from the “RUN WHILE YOU CAN!” jokes the students give of course). It’s not like we magically change into an “evil adult” as soon as a diploma is in our hands, we’re still the exact same people we were before, and we still have friends where the best way to see them is after school on campus. Now if I was like, 25, I may agree, but I’d say 18-21ish (after that all your friends should have graduated) isn’t exactly out there with visitations. \*That sounds more often than it is, mor elike every few months, like maybe 10-12 weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716/60 "2008-10-14T02:46:22Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > No. I’m saying that the high school isn’t there to provide him, an adult, with a convenient social center and place to get his ego boosted. Especially under NCLB, there are 9 million other things those students (and their teachers) should be doing that don’t require the OP’s presence. It doesn’t seem like he’s going back there all the time. And I think as others have said, most schools/teachers welcome old students coming and visiting once in a while. It hardly seems like him going back and seeing old teachers or friends is keeping them from doing their jobs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-15-year-old-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-apparently/467716.md?page=4)