# A bad anniversary **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642 "2003-02-21T21:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/1 "2003-02-21T21:53:43Z")
Today Feb 22 is the anniversary of the death of my daughter. I am not having a good day. Each year, I find this difficult to cope with. Each year - no easier. Counselling (I tried a few) made it worse not better. Sorry for bumming anyone. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/2 "2003-02-21T21:59:09Z")
I’m off to get very very drunk ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/3 "2003-02-21T22:10:34Z")
Take care, and post when you get back. I can’t offer any more than a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bitch to, but I’m here for you if you need me. CJ ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/4 "2003-02-21T22:11:09Z")
What a horrible thing. Have a good drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/5 "2003-02-21T23:18:20Z")
Yeah. It sucks. It keeps on sucking. I really really don’t like April, the month when my son died. It’s nearly 11 years. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/6 "2003-02-22T00:13:04Z")
I’m sorry, **Unwritten**. We’re here if you want to talk. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/7 "2003-02-22T00:17:31Z")
{{{ **UnwrittenNocturne** }}} we’re all here for ya sweetie. {{{ **Primaflora** }}} for you too. I don’t have kids, but I don’t imagine there’s much more painful than losing a child. ---
**Author:** ![Triss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Triss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triss)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/8 "2003-02-22T05:27:18Z")
**UnwrittenNocturne** , **Primaflora** , I’m a mom. I can’t, don’t want to, imagine how it must feel. So very sorry for your terrible loss. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/9 "2003-02-22T05:42:17Z")
Damn, I am so sorry for you both. I am a mom, so I can’t imagine it either. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/10 "2003-02-22T06:16:35Z")
So sorry, pal. And for you, too, **Primaflora**. The passing of a child is so much harder to take. I’ve done parents, and it’s a bummer. But it is kind of expected; it’s within the anticipated natural order of things. Siblings and mates fall in that anticipated order less well, but the death of a child is all out of whack. I don’t have my own children, but I was tremendously shaken when my nephew was stabbed (he lives today). Have a good drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/11 "2003-02-22T06:38:43Z")
My thoughts are with you both, **UnwrittenNocturne** and **Primaflora**. As has been said – if you ever want a vent, we’re here for you. {{{ **UnwrittenNocturne** }}} and {{{ **Primaflora** }}} ---
**Author:** ![it\_sjustme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/da6949/32.png) [@it\_sjustme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/it_sjustme)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/12 "2003-02-22T07:07:45Z")
**UnwrittenNocturne** and **Primaflora** there’s not much that we can offer, except our sincere sympathy and our willingness to be here to listen to anything and everything you want to want to tell us. I hope that knowing that we’re here for you brings you some measure of comfort. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/13 "2003-02-22T07:40:49Z")
As someone whos mother died a few days before valentines day and her birthday is mar 7th this is a rough couple of weeks for me I totally understand and sympathise with ya Just dont get too drunk and end up passed on ya self … ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/14 "2003-02-22T15:05:55Z")
**UnwrittenNocturne** , **PrimaFlora** , you have my sympathy. My thoughts are with you. ~ monica ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/15 "2003-02-25T21:17:39Z")
I’m back from my self-imposed exile, and a time of drunken self-examination. I want to say thanks to you all, and offer my heartfelt sympathies to **Primaflora** , please know that my thoughts are with you, especially when April comes around. Once again I survived it, as I always shall…I will not hold myself in self-pity, I doubt very much that my girl would have appreciated that. Your thoughts and words have touched me deeply, and once again I express my thanks. ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/16 "2003-02-26T05:16:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Once again I survived it, as I always shall… And that is your memorial to her. What better memorial is there to a lost loved one? Carved stones that will be forgotten? Better that we remember and continue to love our passed until we see them again. I have no children, so I can’t say I have felt the same emotions as you. But I’ve lost some very important people, and the best way to make it bearable is to keep their flame alive. Best wishes, comfort, and love to both **UnwrittenNocturne** and **PrimaFlora** ---
**Author:** ![Qwisp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qwisp/32/397_2.png) [@Qwisp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwisp)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bad-anniversary/156642/17 "2003-02-26T05:44:38Z")
I am very,very sorry for your loss **UnwrittenNocturne** and **PrimaFlora**