# A Battle Of Wits: Rock, Paper, Scissors Roshambo 2: The Resurrection.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 23, 2002, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200 "2002-08-23T09:23:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@BlahMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlahMan)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/101 "2002-09-02T05:45:09Z")
Counters with a toothpic
Attacks with Cecil Adams
---
### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2002, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/102 "2002-09-02T06:52:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Attacks with Cecil Adams
While we all know the **Perfect Master** can never be used for ones own devices (unless those devices are the education of the great unwashed), I will counter with **Ed Zotti**.
And attack with the great unwashed masses.
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2002, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/103 "2002-09-02T08:04:25Z")
Counters with a firehose and buckets of soapy water.
Attacks with an army of West Nile Virus mosquitoes.
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### Author:  [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2002, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/104 "2002-09-02T11:14:08Z")
Counters with an old, decrepit Taiwanese native “Grandpa” (who, we all know, has built up such a defense to the terrifying Taiwanese mosquitoes that no pathetic foreign insects can overcome him.)
Attacks with a pack of starving, slavering wolves.
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### Author:  [@LifeWillFall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeWillFall)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/105 "2002-09-03T03:33:59Z")
Counters with a string of sasages tied together on the ends
Attacks with a college eduacation, insistant parents and no marketable skills
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### Author:  [@Lost\_In\_Reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost_In_Reality)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2002, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/106 "2002-09-03T05:27:36Z")
Counters with Winning Mega Millions
Attacks with the Bronte Sisters
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### Author:  [@BlahMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlahMan)
#### Post date: [September 4, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/107 "2002-09-04T03:33:56Z")
Um counters The Bronte Sisters with, the very obvious ‘Consumption’ disease…
Attacks with the embodiment of all things evil, The Snuggles Bear… And with the abuse of commas, and ellipsees,…
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### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/108 "2002-09-05T13:21:01Z")
Counters with the porcupine, who finally just props his spikes and impales the stupid li’l bear.
Attacks with the thread killer.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/109 "2002-09-05T13:48:49Z")
Counters with the ever popular “No, I’m the thread killer”.
Attacks with two turntables and a microphone.
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### Author:  [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2002, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/110 "2002-09-06T04:06:25Z")
Would counter attack but doesn’t know “where it’s at”,
attacks with covert grandmas trying to get their hands on my breakfast cereal.
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### Author:  [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2002, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/111 "2002-09-06T10:10:16Z")
Counters with “I don’t eat cereal”
Attacks with a truckload of sand.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2002, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/112 "2002-09-06T12:24:09Z")
Counters with an entire grade school armed with small plastic buckets and shovels.
Attacks with a binder full of loose leaf paper, a ruler and 10 freshly sharpened number 2 pencils.
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### Author:  [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/113 "2002-09-06T16:09:20Z")
Counters with two days of overdue math homework (labor day threw me for a loop. I thought wednesday was tuesday , and just recently found out the tuesday was tuesday, and wednesday was two days ago),
Attacks with a blizzard on christmas, and rudolph with a stopped up nose.
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2002, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/114 "2002-09-07T10:50:40Z")
Counters with a snow grader loaded with 12-hour Afrin nasal spray.
Attacks with 1024-bit RSA encryption.
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### Author:  [@LifeWillFall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeWillFall)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/115 "2002-09-07T17:09:28Z")
Counters with a 9 year old autistic child.
Attacks with relentless optimism
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### Author:  [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/116 "2002-09-08T07:15:33Z")
Counters with Andy Rooney.
Attacks with… uh, whatever [this](http://www.b3ta.com/singing-kitten/) is.
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### Author:  [@Burnt\_Toast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Toast)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/117 "2002-09-08T12:07:33Z")
counters with Bonsai Kitten
attacks with swallowing gum
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### Author:  [@LifeWillFall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeWillFall)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/118 "2002-09-08T16:43:30Z")
ahh, nice attack it gives the opportunity to counter with:
[The straight dope on the matter](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_059.html)
Attacks with Nepolian Bonapart after watching a discovery channel special on winter
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### Author:  [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)
#### Post date: [September 9, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/119 "2002-09-09T01:56:33Z")
Counters with a measuring tape to show the poor guy how lacking in stature he is…his self-esteem ruined, the little man goes running into his bedroom to cry.
Attacks with endless hours of confusing math homework.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [September 9, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-battle-of-wits-rock-paper-scissors-roshambo-2-the-resurrection/125200/120 "2002-09-09T02:05:23Z")
Counters with Revenge of the Nerds.
Attacks with a runcible spoon.
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