# A 'Birth Party'?? Are you kidding me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388 "2010-04-16T20:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/61 "2010-04-18T00:23:58Z")
Am I the only one who read this as “Birther Party”? I thought this was going to be a spinoff of the Tea Party. It’s actually worse than my misreading. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/62 "2010-04-18T01:01:40Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > No kidding - like she’s the first person in history to have a baby…:rolleyes: Maybe she just really, \*really \*want’s to be like a queen right down to the assortment of courtiers & government officials staring up her gown when junior pops out. 😉 When my nephew was born my sister-in-law did have family visit her while she was in labour, but the whole process took almost 12 hours. Toward the end the only non-hospital people in the room with her were my brother and her two eldest teenage daughters (neither of whom was allowed to _leave_). Everyone else was in the waiting room. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/63 "2010-04-18T06:30:42Z")
The one time I gave birth, the only non-medical person in the room was my then-husband, who patiently held my hand and put up with my painkiller-induced ramblings. Everyone else was in the waiting room, watching my mom freak out - she tends to do that when one of her daughters or daughter-in-law has a baby. This is why I think a “birth party” is a bad idea. The mom-to-be seems to think her relatives will be perfectly OK with watching her labor for however long it takes, and not freak out if/when something does not go according to plan. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/64 "2010-04-18T08:22:16Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Oh right. I wonder if I could get Martin Scorsese to direct the whole thing… David Cronenberg would be far more appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/65 "2010-04-18T11:01:06Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Nuts. Absolutely, totally, insanely nuts - that’s what that idea is. Heck, I didn’t even want my husband to videotape the birth - who do you show such a tape to?? :eek: > > Years ago, I had a coworker who not only photographed the birth of his child, but he brought the photos to work to share - photos of the actual birth!!! Some people jest ain’t right… I know your husband’s twin. Worse he wanted me to view the video and capture a still picture for him to print. That was an instant negative it’s never going to happen so never ask again response. I believe it’s was to be on the birth announcement, but I don’t remember for sure. It was something to be shared regardless. I just have to wonder if his wife was privy to his intentions when he asked me. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/66 "2010-04-18T13:34:50Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Maybe she just really, \*really \*want’s to be like a queen right down to the assortment of courtiers & government officials staring up her gown when junior pops out. 😉 And here I was thinking of Juana la Loca giving birth to future Emperor Charles V in the WC… “gee, I thought I just needed to go real bad!” ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/67 "2010-04-18T14:16:39Z")
I think it’s sweet if that’s what mom and dad want. My first birth I had my female family around up until we went to the hospital, and I found it comforting to be around all those experienced mothers. My mom, grandma, cousin and aunt rubbed my back and walked me around the yard and just gave me all kinds of comfort. If they’d joined us at the hospital I think I’d have had an easier time but back then only one person was allowed so my husband and mom took turns babying me. And I really needed babying! I personally wouldn’t do a whole party, but I didn’t mind my brother and sister-in-law joining us this last time. They didn’t get all up in my cooch or anything. They were just there for me, for a welcome distraction. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/68 "2010-04-18T14:41:02Z")
Announcement: Doperfest! When: Canada’s Labour Day Weekend Host: alice\_in\_wonderland ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/69 "2010-04-18T22:49:13Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Nuts. I had a coworker who not only photographed the birth of his child, but he brought the photos to work to share - photos of the actual birth!!! Some people jest ain’t right… Ooh yes, this happened to me too with a coworker. She prefaced it by saying, “Now these photos are kind of PG-rated, but that’s okay, we’re all family here.” The first few were of the birthing pool they’d set up in their apartment, with Kate looking entirely PG-ish if a little stressed out, and then… Well, if the rest of the pics were PG then PG must have come to stand for PornoGraphic. They were certainly too much for the workplace, even if we WERE all family, which we weren’t… Don’t get me wrong, I liked Kate, liked her a lot, but when she emailed some baby pictures a few weeks later I just deleted 'em. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/70 "2010-04-19T19:21:46Z")
My family gathers for births. I mean, we don’t send out invitations, but I was in the room or the room next door for my 3 sisters being born, for my first nephew (the only kid yet born to our generation), and would have been there for my best friend’s first kid but I had a cold. My mom was a midwives’ assistant for years, so home births are sort of the way we go, but my nephew was born in the hospital after 40+ hours of labor. Either way, we just sort of get together wherever the mama is when labor starts up and hang out being generally helpful and/or just keeping company. My sister wanted just her and her husband in the room when she was actually pushing, which was fine and dandy with her sisters and I! But we were right by her as she walked the halls, told her jokes, brought her and her husband food and milkshakes, etc. At home births, a small crowd of friends and family - if careful to stay respectful and make sure the mom’s needs and wishes always come first - can be very helpful in minding the kids that are already in the family, cooking or getting food for everyone, being there to run errands when needed, catching the phones as other interested parties call for news, tidying up and making sure any leftover dishes and laundry are done so the new mama doesn’t have to stress about such things, and so on. I mean, we don’t go busting up in the bedroom trying to take pictures, but we’re around. The new kid is coming into a big family, and we’re all part of that from the beginning. To each their own, but I’m mighty glad that’s how our family and social circle do things. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/71 "2010-04-19T19:50:41Z")
I would flat out refuse to look at any pictures of a coworker’s birth. Honestly. I have refused to look at pictures before. I’d just be all, “No thanks, I really don’t want to see that,” and fake super squeamishness. The birth party has me in such horror I can’t even respond to it. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/72 "2010-04-19T20:23:32Z")
A friend of mine did this. Not a formal party, that is, but had forty-leven people in for the birth. This was at the hospital - the setup there was a _very_ large room with a little seating area (plus the bed & equipment & so on), and you could have in whomever you wanted. I stopped by early in the process, said “hi”, gave some cheery remarks, and ran away. Pretty much everyone they knew was invited; most declined to attend, or stopped by early like I did. I believe there were around 8-10 people (including husband’s family, and friends) in attendance (in addition to the parents) at the actual birth. Weird. Just weird. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/73 "2010-04-19T22:24:04Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > My family gathers for births… I’m _POSITIVE_ that your family has a different dynamic than my family but the idea of my relatives being in the same building when I’m trying to give birth, stopping by to visit, tell jokes and deliver milkshakes makes me want to flee into the woods and deliver under a shrubbery. :eek::eek::eek: YMM and obviously does V. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/74 "2010-04-20T05:29:47Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > You forgot the rows of seats overlooking the birthing room, the operating theatre seating. This is where your friends and extended family would sit. No popcorn allowed though. But Junior Mints are okay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hallucinex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba9def/32.png) [@Hallucinex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hallucinex)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/75 "2010-04-20T08:38:42Z")
Am I the only one that on seeing the thread title was wondering what the Birth Party’s platform was? ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/76 "2010-04-20T09:47:11Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > I doubt there’s any species in the animal kingdom that seeks a crowd to give birth to. It goes against all natural instincts hardwired into us. Well, actually, the only thing hardwired into us is to seek to birth in an environment we consider safe. Some people believe in safety in numbers. Some want to be surrounded by the positive energy and love of the people who mean the most to them in the world. Sounds like this woman is one of those, and probably expects that many, perhaps most, will decline the invitation and the ones who _do_ come are the people who are meant to be there for a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/77 "2010-04-20T12:00:07Z")
Isn’t the whole point of these “parties” to change the attidue toward childbirth? That is instead of being a stressful time, a time to be celebrated. I’m sure a bris is stressful to a child but the rest of the group is partying on 🙂 Being male I can’t say, but I think that is the reason for such events, to try to changing the thinking surrounding childbirth. Women have been trying to stress childbirth and breastfeeding and such are just natural parts of life, and they aren’t illness or diseases. And childbirth isn’t gross but rather wonderful. OK my understanding is that it IS gross and babies are GROSS till you clean them up at least, but I think the end line thinking is the process shouldn’t be viewed that way ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/78 "2010-04-20T12:15:45Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Isn’t the whole point of these “parties” to change the attidue toward childbirth? That is instead of being a stressful time, a time to be celebrated. I’m sure a bris is stressful to a child but the rest of the group is partying on 🙂 Childbirth is something to be feared. A bris likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/79 "2010-04-20T18:12:47Z")
Since nobody has mentioned it yet, I’ll be the first to offer kudos to Miss Manners for her most excellent response to this question: > [@Miss Manners](#): > > Of all the bright ideas about how to entertain, this is Miss Manners’ least favorite. As she keeps pointing out, a lady never entertains guests with her legs in the air. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388/80 "2010-04-20T20:19:44Z")
Flamesuiton/Listen Honey, you’ve got a job to do. That’s what this is about, you’ve been baking the little one for 9ish months now and you’ve got to thread the eye of the needle. We’re not going to have any hypoxic events, we’re not going to have any heart decelerations that lead to brain damage, or any hemorrhagic complications if we can jolly well avoid them. That’s the job. Your feelings of Oness with the Goddess, your moment of completeness as a vessel of life, are very much secondary considerations, so get this pack of Hyenas the fuck out of my way./Flamesuitoff [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-birth-party-are-you-kidding-me/536388.md?page=5)