# A bottle of wine BUT not for drinking! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 18, 2006, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079 "2006-02-18T12:10:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/21 "2006-02-18T17:47:18Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Or Balsalmic vinegar. Oh no, I waited too long and it’s gone bad! I like the way you think 😃 Tell her wine is best enjoyed in big swigs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/22 "2006-02-18T17:47:23Z")
Hold on a sec – your mother was walking along the beach. In the middle of fucking WINTER? > [@liirogue](#): > > Better yet, fill it with something like stale Coke or Pepsi and invite your mom over for a special dinner. Open the bottle and pour her a glass, remarking all the while over it’s special color and aroma, blah blah blah. Then watch her sputter when she takes a tase 😛 For a reisling? Ginger ale would be better. Or (Og forbid) Zima. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/23 "2006-02-18T17:52:05Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > Being a vinophile myself… [nutpick]That’s oenophile. [/knitpick] ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/24 "2006-02-18T17:57:20Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > [nutpick]That’s oenophile. [/knitpick] That’s sick, and you should be arrested. It’s not like the oen can give consent. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/25 "2006-02-18T18:16:11Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Hold on a sec – your mother was walking along the beach. In the middle of fucking WINTER? It’s midsummer in NZ. ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/26 "2006-02-18T18:23:27Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Hold on a sec – your mother was walking along the beach. In the middle of fucking WINTER? It’s the middle of fucking SUMMER in New Zealand, it being on the other side of the equator and all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/27 "2006-02-18T18:30:03Z")
If it isn’t for drinking, maybe you should christen a ship with it. Your mother may find that a more appropriate use for fine wine that isn’t drinkin’ wine. Or better yet, christen a bike with it. “You didn’t drink that wine I gave you, did you?” “No, mother. I didn’t.” “That’s good.” “I smashed it over the handlebars of my bike instead.” _THUD_ “Mom?” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/28 "2006-02-18T18:46:06Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I’m only allowed to look!) bad news! It’s a Reisling. My mother IS a skinflint! There are expensive [Rieslings](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riesling) to be had, and as there is a significant portion of oenophiles who eagerly consume this varietal I assume there are some very good ones, though I’m personally not much for sweet wines. Rieslings aren’t collectable wines, though. The high sugar content and low initial tannins make them unsuited to long-term aging. Except for the eiswiens (desert wines that are processed to remove water and concentrate the sugars) they should be consumed within a few years of bottling, so your mother’s cryptic comment about it not being “a bottle to drink” is confusing to say the least. I vote for drinking the wine and then admitting to having succombed to temptation. I’m not much of one for maintaining a collection of undrinkable wines in any case; wine is meant to be drunk. I’ll also take this opportunity to get up on my hobbyhorse and rail again against screwtops on good wine. It may be more convenient, but damnit, I like the ceremony of removing the cork. Kids these days… Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/29 "2006-02-18T19:00:40Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > It’s the middle of fucking SUMMER in New Zealand, it being on the other side of the equator and all. > > 😛 Unimportant climatological details aside, I don’t know how it is in NZ, but in my part of the world, winter is one of the best times to walk on the beach. Nobody’s there, it isn’t torn to shreds. It almost looks like a wilderness again (if you keep your back to the condominiums.) ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/30 "2006-02-18T19:03:39Z")
Have you asked her why it’s “not just for drinking”–? She might mean you are supposed to save it for a special occasion. Two bottles a week isn’t too much. Two glasses of wine a day is good for you, and there are only 4-6 glasses per bottle. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/31 "2006-02-18T19:26:25Z")
What **Stranger** said. There’s an optimal interval within which wines should be drunk, unless it’s an exceptional collectable saved as an investment. This doesn’t sound like such. Choose either a celebratory event of when someone is visiting that appreciates a good wine and just enjoy the dang thing. You don’t want to become the 40 year old wine virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/32 "2006-02-18T19:42:06Z")
If it’s not for drinking, try snorting it. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/33 "2006-02-18T20:02:24Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Or Balsalmic vinegar. Oh no, I waited too long and it’s gone bad! Or piss in it. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/34 "2006-02-18T20:17:15Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Or piss in it. “Ah, but _whose_?” ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/35 "2006-02-18T21:17:58Z")
Personally, I’d use it to make a dessert risotto, and if she asks about it, say ‘You said it wasn’t for drinking. I assumed that meant it was plonk and used it for cooking.’ (Note: I don’t actually cook with wine I wouldn’t drink.) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/36 "2006-02-18T22:16:52Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Except for the eiswiens (desert wines that are processed to remove water and concentrate the sugars) I always thought they were _ice wines_. Huh. Learn something new every day. Seriously, ask your mom what you’re supposed to save it for. Maybe she wants to share it with you? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/37 "2006-02-18T22:57:02Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Unimportant climatological details aside, I don’t know how it is in NZ, but in my part of the world, winter is one of the best times to walk on the beach. Nobody’s there, it isn’t torn to shreds. It almost looks like a wilderness again (if you keep your back to the condominiums.) Oh, winter walks on the beach are great here, especially on the Tasman side: rug up for the wind, and just wander along under the cliffs and watch the huge waves crashing in - if you’re lucky, the only people you’ll see are a few like- minded hardy souls who wouldn’t dream of disturbing your walk. **calm kiwi** , does your mother _hide_ food for “special occasions” like mine does? I don’t mean putting it at the back of the cupboard, I mean actively concealing it under the bed - even though she’s 65, the last kid flew the coop 10 years ago, and there’s no-one to hide it from except my dad, who presumably knows where it is anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/38 "2006-02-18T23:07:04Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I always thought they were _ice wines_. Er, they are. That’s just the German spelling of it, but it means the same (and for all intents and purposes, sounds the same as well.) I’m not sure about the etymology; I suppose, being sweet wines they must be served cold, i.e. on ice. Personally, I like a nice, lightly chilled (60F) pinot or a room temperature sangiovese, but to each his own. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/39 "2006-02-18T23:15:51Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > That’s just the German spelling of it, but it means the same (and for all intents and purposes, sounds the same as well.) I’m not sure about the etymology; I suppose, being sweet wines they must be served cold, i.e. on ice. The grapes for an Eiswein are left out on the vines past the first frost. The frost crystalizes some of the water inside the grape but not the sugars, so when they are crushed (carefully so as not to break up the ice too much and therefore be counterproductive), the resulting juice is very concentrated. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079/40 "2006-02-18T23:26:34Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Er, they are. That’s just the German spelling of it, but it means the same (and for all intents and purposes, sounds the same as well.) I’m not sure about the etymology; I suppose, being sweet wines they must be served cold, i.e. on ice. I think the joke was on the spelling of “dessert” as **desert**. The term is used because the way eisweins/icewines are made is that the grapes are left on the vines until the first frost and the grapes freeze. They are then harvested and the grapes pressed, squeezing out the water as ice crystals, which are discarded, leaving a very concentrated, sweet juice to make the wine from. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-bottle-of-wine-but-not-for-drinking/345079.md?page=3)