# A Centaur and a Cyclops Walk into a Bar.... finish the joke (Xena reference) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [July 2, 2023, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432 "2023-07-02T01:19:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/1 "2023-07-02T01:19:59Z")
OK. So there’s an episode of _[Xena: Warrior Princess](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112230/),_ which I was watching today (bought 5 seasons during the first month of the pandemic) called “Warrior… Priestess… Tramp” in which the barmaid [READ: madam of the best little whorehouse in Athens] Meg, who happens to look exactly like Xena, also happens to look like the Hestian [READ: virgin] priestess, Leah. Plot happens, and Meg is conducting a Hestian service disguised as Leah, and she begins with a “parable” that starts out “A centaur and a cyclops go into a bar, and the bartender says to the cyclops–” then she gets cut off to do a ritual, and never finishes the “parable.” I’ve always wondered where this could go, and I invite one and all to finish it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/2 "2023-07-02T01:26:46Z")
“All right, what did you do with the rabbi?” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/3 "2023-07-02T01:30:20Z")
“…the guy who sold you that horse must have thought you had _no_ eyes.” ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/4 "2023-07-02T01:33:23Z")
Lemme guess, this is your better half? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/5 "2023-07-02T03:09:16Z")
“You can stay, but your friend is gonna have to wait outside!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/6 "2023-07-02T03:33:17Z")
“Which is really strange, because while the first one walked into the bar, the second one should have seen that and stopped before he hit it.” (Think of bar, as a physical barrier, and you’ll get it.) ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/7 "2023-07-02T03:36:07Z")
"…says to the Cyclops, ‘You know, we don’t get many Cyclops in here.’ The Cyclops replies, ‘At these prices, I’m not surprised.’ The Centaur agrees. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/8 "2023-07-02T05:53:31Z")
These are all excellent! I’m loving it! Wish I could upvote them! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/9 "2023-07-02T11:47:12Z")
The bartender says to the Cyclops “You know, we have drinks named after you guys.” The Cyclops says “What, you got drinks named ‘Gus’ and ‘Yanni’?” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/10 "2023-07-02T11:54:23Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > A centaur and a cyclops go into a bar, and the bartender says to the cyclops–” “—your friend is a real horse’s ass.” Cyclops: “watch what you say about my friend. I’ve got my eye on you.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/11 "2023-07-02T12:46:17Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > “A centaur and a cyclops go into a bar, and the bartender says to the cyclops–” _“We don’t get too many of your kind in here.”_ And before the cyclops can say anything, a voice from the end of the bar says, _“Oh, but he’s so handsome, what with that bedroom eye.”_ And the bartender shrugs and says to the centaur, _“I hope you’re not going to start any trouble.”_ And before the centaur can reply, a voice rings out again: _“Why would he start a fight if he’s hung like a horse?”_ So the cyclops and the centaur saunter over to meet their flatterer, and — it’s just a bowl of peanuts. They ask: _“What’s with the nuts?”_ The bartender says _“They’re complimentary.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/12 "2023-07-02T13:32:15Z")
And the bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of Robert Asprin joke?” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/13 "2023-07-02T17:18:28Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > (Think of bar, as a physical barrier, and you’ll get it.) That’s a decent variation on the simple punchline “They said ‘Ouch’.” Don’t diminish it with an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/14 "2023-07-02T22:01:13Z")
“… the Aristocrats!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2023, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/15 "2023-07-02T23:26:36Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > “A centaur and a cyclops go into a bar, and the bartender says to the cyclops–” “No, Dionysus walked out of here fifteen minutes ago. You just mythed him.” ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/16 "2023-07-03T03:02:14Z")
‘If you cannot see a thing, open this one.’ ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/17 "2023-07-03T15:51:00Z")
The bartender says to the Cyclops, “What’ll you have?” The Cyclops says, “Give me a martin.” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/18 "2023-07-03T15:55:31Z")
The bartender says to the centaur, “Why the long body?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/19 "2023-07-03T15:58:17Z")
The bartender says “Well, this is a surprise!” The Cyclops says “How so?” The bartender says “You guys usually don’t come in until after four o’clock.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2023, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432/20 "2023-07-03T16:22:00Z")
The bartender says “I don’t believe I’ve seen you gents in here before!” The Cyclops says “Well, we were just passing by and your place caught my eye.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-centaur-and-a-cyclops-walk-into-a-bar-finish-the-joke-xena-reference/986432.md?page=2)