# A chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room, and a whore in bed: Female ideal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 4, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687 "2004-06-04T19:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/1 "2004-06-04T19:57:23Z")
**A chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room, and a whore in bed:** Is this still the general consensus among hetero men (or others of similar inclination) of the ideal woman? ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/2 "2004-06-04T20:01:21Z")
Well, I’d rather have a whore in the kitchen, living room, **and** bedroom, but that could just be me. Seriously, do you honestly expect a real debate out of this? ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/3 "2004-06-04T20:07:20Z")
I’d prefer a proletariat intelligent (as in singular of _intelligentsia_) all around. Except for maybe the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/4 "2004-06-04T20:10:17Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > I’d prefer a proletariat intelligent (as in singular of _intelligentsia_) all around. Except for maybe the bedroom. Nah, second thought, intelligence is sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/5 "2004-06-04T20:15:54Z")
True dat. Especially if that intelligence is accompanied by, shall we say, a _healthy_ curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/6 "2004-06-04T20:16:20Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Well, I’d rather have a whore in the kitchen, living room, **and** bedroom, but that could just be me. > > Seriously, do you honestly expect a real debate out of this? Yes. I remember reading this line someplace…can’t remember where. Anyway, I tossed it out at a party where the discussion moved to gender politics. The stickiest part of the debate: Is this what men _really_ want? For all the lip-service paid to equality of the sexes, are we still conditioned, perhaps even hardwired, to desire this out of our female companions? If we are deconditioned, or conditioned to look for the “modern woman”, does this create inner tension with the innate desire for the mother/whore? Many men said this was absurd. More than a few of us (male and female) suspected they were lying. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/7 "2004-06-04T20:19:19Z")
I would have to say: a wit in the living room, and adventurer outdoors, a hard ass in the board room, a chef in the kitchen, and a slut in the bedroom. Who wants a whore who isn’t into sex and just wants to get paid? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/8 "2004-06-04T20:42:35Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > **A chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room, and a whore in bed:** I dunno…wouldn’t the house be really crowded? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/9 "2004-06-04T20:52:28Z")
> [@Captain Amazing](#): > > I dunno…wouldn’t the house be really crowded? Think of it as a compromise alternative to polygamy. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/10 "2004-06-04T20:59:04Z")
I wouldn’t mind having (or being) a slut in the bedroom and a chef in the kitchen… The living room though? Hm… Let’s say therapist. Or snuggle bunny. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/11 "2004-06-04T21:05:26Z")
Where are my loose shoes? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/12 "2004-06-04T21:16:11Z")
Kitchen: Stay the hell out of the kitchen, I do the cooking around here. Living room: Be yourself. Bed: Be yourself. Glad to clear that up. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/13 "2004-06-04T21:23:02Z")
I suppose you will be first in line to see The Stepford Wives, then? OK, let’s see. Perfect woman. Intelligent. Compassionate. Geeky. Outdoorsy. Spiritual. Kinky/playful/adventurous. In that order. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/14 "2004-06-04T21:30:04Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > Intelligent. Compassionate. Geeky. Outdoorsy. Spiritual. Kinky/playful/adventurous. > > In that order. Sorry, Binary Drone reminded me of one: Intelligent. Independent. Compassionate. Geeky. Outdoorsy. Spiritual. Kinky/playful/adventurous. In THAT order. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/15 "2004-06-04T21:32:41Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > Nah, second thought, intelligence is sexy. Okay…I don’t get this statement. Intelligence is _attractive_, but I have never. once. found it sexy. It doesn’t make me want to have sex. Voices, asses, glances, whispers, and an occasional swagger? Those usually make me want to have sex. But not intelligence. Maybe it’s me…I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/16 "2004-06-04T21:35:22Z")
> [@Zagadka](#): > > I suppose you will be first in line to see The Stepford Wives, then? That is apropos. What’s the point of satire if there’s nothing to satirize? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/17 "2004-06-04T21:44:23Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Okay…I don’t get this statement. Intelligence is _attractive_, but I have never. once. found it sexy. It doesn’t make me want to have sex. Voices, asses, glances, whispers, and an occasional swagger? Those usually make me want to have sex. But not intelligence. Maybe it’s me…I dunno. I’m with you. I don’t want a moron for a lifelong companion, but for pure sexual response, pretty face and hourglass figure trumps brains any day of the week. There’s a feeling one has stumbled on something almost miraculous when you can somehow combine first-rate looks with first-rate brains, but it’s the body that gets us aroused, more often then not. It’s true. Women report that they can have more orgasms sequentially if their partner is physically attractive. Men report a more rapid achievment of orgasm if their partner is physically attractive. I.Q. appears to be irrelevant at the basic level. ---
**Author:** ![Zagadka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zagadka/32/7272_2.png) [@Zagadka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zagadka)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/18 "2004-06-04T21:45:41Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Okay…I don’t get this statement. Intelligence is _attractive_, but I have never. once. found it sexy. It doesn’t make me want to have sex. Voices, asses, glances, whispers, and an occasional swagger? Those usually make me want to have sex. But not intelligence. Maybe it’s me…I dunno. Hm. Maybe it is just me, but a smart person is one of the biggest turnons. Someone who shows that their mind is sharp and they are a freethinker scores more points than a looker on my chart. Plus, there is that whole geek chic look. Long dark skirt for the ladies, casual button shirt, glasses… Maybe I have some genetic bit that looks for “intelligence”… I dunno. And by “intelligence,” I don’t mean “agrees with me”… I’d almost rather date someone who I could debate with (and we all know the best sex is angry or makeup sex). ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/19 "2004-06-04T22:45:29Z")
Pardon me for pointing this out, but wouldn’t ANY ideal mate be someone who is the best at everything? i.e., great in bed, great with cooking, great manners when needed, always fun to be with, etc.? Isn’t this what all women would want in a man as their ideal too? I mean, when was the last time you heard anyone, man or woman, advertising “a prude in bed, lousy cook, terrible job, bad attitude, real couch potato” etc.? ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687/20 "2004-06-04T22:47:29Z")
For women, the ideal mate is: a masseur in the bathroom, a gay guy in the living room, an exterminator in the attic, and a roughneck in the bedroom. So there! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-chef-in-the-kitchen-a-lady-in-the-living-room-and-a-whore-in-bed-female-ideal/248687.md?page=2)