# A Christmas visit from Uncle Fester **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 31, 2002, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850 "2002-12-31T10:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/21 "2003-01-01T03:40:08Z")
apology to the OP for hijack ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/22 "2003-01-01T04:51:24Z")
Kiss your uncle’s ass. Some day, there will be an estate to divide… ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/23 "2003-01-01T05:13:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\*Kiss your uncle’s ass. Some day, there will be an estate to divide… \*\* Be disingenuous for money? Yeah, that’s the ticket. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/24 "2003-01-01T06:52:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*And I agree with you insane uncle that the correct orientation for drinking glasses in a cupboard is top-down-- it obviates the need to rinse your glasses before you use them. \*\* I dont’ have to rinse my glasses… why would I? If they were mouth down I would, though, because the mouth would be against the shelf liner, which is kinda old and scary. Bleah. That said I’d have thrown him out as soon as he lit up in my house. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/25 "2003-01-01T06:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*How 'bout this: > > I don’t wanna be a chicken > I don’t wanna be a duck > Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck > > Better? 😃 \*\* Much better, since I have no idea what that is, and thus it can’t get lodged in my brain! ;D ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/26 "2003-01-01T07:17:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Igloo \* > \*\*But I have to ask: 65 degrees? That does seem a bit chilly. \*\* Mods, please change this username from **Igloo** to something more appropriate, like maybe **GrassHut**. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/27 "2003-01-01T07:50:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*How 'bout this: > > I don’t wanna be a chicken > I don’t wanna be a duck > Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck > > Better? 😃 \*\* I’ve got a 3-year-old. The 3-year-old has a Chicken Dance Elmo (thanks loads, ma). Once upon a time it might’ve terrified me, but after 2x10^5 repetitions it kinda grows on ya. Like ergot. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/28 "2003-01-01T09:12:19Z")
1. A fiber optic tree is an artificial Chrsitmas tree that has the branches made of fiber optic cables. It looks like any other artificial tree, but when you turn it on, a spinnin color wheel in the base cycles through a bunch of colors, which then light up the ends of the branches; it’s very pretty. 2. Igloo: 65 degrees? That does seem a bit chilly. I think my irony meter just exploded. 1. Does Aunt Reason seem like a nice person? Can you invite her without him? She’s very nice, and, ironically, 26 years younger than he is (he’s 74, she’s 48) which is six years more than the age difference between Mrs. Six and I, and a native Hawaiian of primarily Japanese descent. Inviting just her isn’t really an option right now, but she’s likely to outlive him by quite a lot, so in the future is a possibility. 1. As far as the OP, this guy is not rude, he’s mentally ill (is that the current term?) No one is ever that hostile without a few important screws loose. My dad says he’s only like this when visiting someone. According to my father, he’s actually a quite generous and gracious host when people visit him, but he’s come to expect that things be done a certain way, and he usually gets his way because he’s loaded and people are hoping to be “remembered” in his will. 1. I’m curious as to the sorts of remarks Uncle Fester made about Mrs. Six. Tell, tell… Or were they truly ugly, in which case never mind, no sense harping on it… Does she go to school with you, or is she in jr. high already? I guess the line of baskeball players stops with [Number Six]. [speaking in a sing-song voice] So, what do you want to be when you grow up? Have you told Santa what you want for Christmas? [Stage whisper to me]: Does she know yet? As she heads for bed: Do you want me to check for monsters before you go nighty-night? ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/29 "2003-01-01T16:44:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*How 'bout this: > > I don’t wanna be a chicken > I don’t wanna be a duck > Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck > > Better? 😃 \*\* The chicken dance has _lyrics?_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/30 "2003-01-02T01:24:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tiggeril \* > \*\*The chicken dance has _lyrics?_ :eek: \*\* Scary, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/31 "2003-01-02T18:55:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number Six \* > \*\*4. As far as the OP, this guy is not rude, he’s mentally ill (is that the current term?) No one is ever that hostile without a few important screws loose. > > My dad says he’s only like this when visiting someone. According to my father, he’s actually a quite generous and gracious host when people visit him, but he’s come to expect that things be done a certain way, and he usually gets his way because he’s loaded and people are hoping to be “remembered” in his will.\*\* Sounds to me like Uncle Fester (or should I say Uncle Archie (as in Bunker)) needs to be checked for OCD. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/32 "2003-01-02T19:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number Six \* > 5. I’m curious as to the sorts of remarks Uncle Fester made about Mrs. Six. Tell, tell… Or were they truly ugly, in which case never mind, no sense harping on it… > > Does she go to school with you, or is she in jr. high already? > I guess the line of baskeball players stops with [Number Six]. > [speaking in a sing-song voice] So, what do you want to be when you grow up? > Have you told Santa what you want for Christmas? [Stage whisper to me]: Does she know yet? > As she heads for bed: Do you want me to check for monsters before you go nighty-night? Sweet mother of Thomas Edison. The man is worse than a caricature. RE: Turning glasses upside down in the cupboard: I’ve always done this, ever since I got my first apartment and found a roach trundling merrily around the base of a glass one day when I opened the cupboard door. Interestingly, though, I don’t turn my plates upside down. I can’t explain the discrepancy. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/33 "2003-01-03T14:25:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*Sounds to me like Uncle Fester (or should I say Uncle Archie (as in Bunker)) needs to be checked for OCD. \*\* How is any of his behavior a symptom of OCD? He’s not obsessed with anything, nor is he performing any compulsive acts. The only diagnosis we’re equipped to make, IMO, is that he’s an inconsiderate, self-absorbed asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/34 "2003-01-03T18:06:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > **How is any of his behavior a symptom of OCD? He’s not obsessed with anything, nor is he performing any compulsive acts.** No? What about turing over all the drinking glasses? Also, I’m not the first to bring up the possibility of a mental illness and I certainly did not make any diagnosis. If any diagnosis needs to be made, let a professional do it. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/35 "2003-01-03T18:15:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*Turning glasses upside down in the cupboard: I’ve always done this, ever since I got my first apartment and found a roach trundling merrily around the base of a glass one day when I opened the cupboard door. Interestingly, though, I don’t turn my plates upside down. I can’t explain the discrepancy. \*\* Plates or bowls turned upside down wouldn’t stack as nicely as do those stored right-side-up. The upside down pile would be more likely to slide and crash. See ya knew there was logic in that choice. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/36 "2003-01-03T18:15:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tiggeril \* > \*\*The chicken dance has _lyrics?_ :eek: \*\* Sorry about the hijack, but I’ve always thought the lrics to be… I can’t believe I’m doing this I must be drunk [clap, clap, clap] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/37 "2003-01-03T18:28:17Z")
**Duck Duck Goose:** _The Better Half went down to Florida…_ Hmmm, I always thought his name would have to be **Drake Drake Gander**. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/38 "2003-01-03T22:11:27Z")
My husband has a crazy uncle who waves loaded guns around when he gets shitfaced. And he thought he ran a guy over and killed him once. And he drove from Chicago to Canada, smoked a cigarette, and went back home once. These wacky uncles…I think they’re about 30% nuts and 70% jerk. I commend you for not killing this dude. But, I do the glasses upside down, too. Drives my dad crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/39 "2003-01-04T08:51:37Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* And he thought he ran a guy over and killed him once./QUOTE] Phew, good thing he didn’t kill him multiple times. Dodged a bullet, there. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850/40 "2003-01-04T12:41:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*No? What about turing over all the drinking glasses? Also, I’m not the first to bring up the possibility of a mental illness and I certainly did not make any diagnosis. If any diagnosis needs to be made, let a professional do it. \*\* Turning over glasses doesn’t mean anything. Some people do it because they don’t want debris or insects falling into them and risk accidentally drinking them. To get to the OP’s situation, all it takes is a rude enough person to come over and start arranging another person’s things to their liking. I’m sure other Dopers know people rude enough to do this. It doesn’t take suffering from a mental illness for someone to do it. I did read the previous comment on the possibility of Uncle Fester having a mental illness, and though I didn’t agree with that poster’s reasoning, I agreed there was a possibility he was mentally ill. (Since I never said a word about the likelihood of him being mentally ill, I’m not contradicting myself here.) However, none of us have the evidence to support that that. We know Uncle Fester is more rude, demanding, obnoxious, and selfish than the vast majority of the people any of us know. He’s married, he’s the OP’s father’s brother, and he’s wealthy. And that’s about it. We can only speculate. And even then, we have zero basis to conclude he may have anything psychologically wrong with him. Instead, he may simply be an asshole of the highest magnitude. I realize you were trying to be helpful, but I’m not sure if you’re familiar with OCD’s symptoms. From [this site](http://www.paxil.com/ocd/oc_sym.html): > [@](#): > > OCD is characterized by obsessions (repeated, intrusive thoughts or impulses you find difficult to suppress) and compulsions (recurrent, purposeful behaviors or thoughts intended to alleviate the obsessive concerns). At times, carrying out the compulsion briefly alleviates the obsession. Most people with OCD are generally aware these symptoms are excessive and unreasonable. [This site](http://www.brainphysics.com/ocd/list.html) elaborates on the symtoms with a checklist of common OCD symptoms. Despite most people’s perception of the disorder, OCD isn’t just about performing odd tasks. Now, based on what we know about Uncle Fester, we cannot say with any confidence that he shows any of the symptoms listed there. And that is what my point was. I wasn’t calling you out in any way, so there’s no need to get defensive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-christmas-visit-from-uncle-fester/145850.md?page=3)