# A collection of observations while being temporarily handicapped **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712 "2015-07-20T18:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/41 "2015-07-22T03:06:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > (Note: I’m not saying that assholes don’t abuse handicapped parking spaces. But the whole, “well, those people look perfectly fine!!!” is a bunch of bullshit) Not necessarily, but I know what you mean. However, the lawyer this morning in Bermudas, showing off his muscular calves and not a hint of a disability in his trot, made me question his handicapped placard. > [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > (If I ever tried to get a handicapped sticker because my knee hurts all the time, my grandmother would rise from the dead and haunt me, then go tell my mother what I was up to. My gran had polio as a child, and never considered herself in any way handicapped, despite having a club foot and hip problems that bothered her her entire life.) > > I’m asthmatic. I have migraines. I “get” invisible illnesses. But some people manage to medicalize being just fucking lazy. My wife would kill me dead if I got a placard, saying that laps of WalMart are the only exercise I get. She, OTOH, needs one, so what we do is drop her off at the front door and our daughter scares up a scooter, leaving me to park off in BFE and grab a shopping cart to use as a secret walker. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/42 "2015-07-22T03:38:52Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Wow. They seriously can’t be bothered to speak to your mother in a way so she can understand them? Oh, hell no! After my mother’s stroke gave her some speech problems people either ignored her or treated her like a toddler. I’ve seen people treat deaf people like crap rather than exert any effort whatsoever at bridging the communication gap. People with speech impediments are treated the same, or as if they are drunk or high. People with problems walking, or with cerebral palsy, being escorted out by store security for being drunk or high when they aren’t. Not everyone treats the disabled like crap, but some people certainly do. MY pet peeve - restaurant host/esses who take off like greased lightning. Especially after I tell them to walk slow due to issues with one of the party. One of the more memorable such events left me stranded in the aisle with my spouse (spinal injury) and dad (lung cancer, cane, oxygen bottle). Waited many minutes, the person never did return for us. Flagged down one of the waitstaff, asked to speak with the manager, gave said person a piece of my mind. Really, no excuse if you’re in a position involving serving customers. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/43 "2015-07-22T11:39:31Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Or people too lazy to expend a goddamn calorie. > > Yeah, yeah, your knee hurts. So does mine. I need a new knee, in fact. But since I know that continued use of the knee won’t really do any more damage, and that discomfort won’t kill me, I opt to burn a few calories by walking around the gigantic store that puts the kitty litter in the back and each of the other two items I need at opposite sides of the store. > > Take a walk. Lift stuff. Which is why I still do what I do, even though it’s slowly breaking down my body, knees included. > [@](#): > > (If I ever tried to get a handicapped sticker because my knee hurts all the time, my grandmother would rise from the dead and haunt me, then go tell my mother what I was up to. My gran had polio as a child, and never considered herself in any way handicapped, despite having a club foot and hip problems that bothered her her entire life.) My mother had severe spinal stenosis years before the ALZ kicked in. She used a shopping cart as her “walker” so to speak, because there was no way she would get into one of those motorized carts and be labeled a “lazy no good SOB”. How she kept up with the housework and all other acts of daily living I’ll never know :shakes head: ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/44 "2015-07-22T11:56:21Z")
I am, fortunately, in fine fettle given my advancing years…my mother, however, has not been so lucky. She turned 80 last year and just before Christmas, she suffered a rather nasty fall, breaking her left hip and left wrist. She regained her mobility fairly quickly after surgery on her hip, and although she is not as fast as she used to be, she is still doing pretty well for her age. She uses a stick, the hospital provided her with a four-footed “quad stick” which she is more than happy to take with her when we go out. Her wrist injury has been much slower to heal and after nearly two months in plaster, she found herself unable to move most of her fingers and with very little strength/grip in her hand. In the main, she has been very lucky and people have been extremely kind to her. People in cafés have carried trays for her, one exceptionally kind lady took careful note of mum saying she could use a fork but not a knife, and brought her a plate of scrambled eggs with toast (the eggs were in a bowl, the toast was already cut into large pieces), the local taxi drivers will carry anything to the door for her. When I take her out anywhere, I try to use the parent-child parking spaces because I need to get the car’s door fully open so that mum can get her legs out of the car, put her stick within reach, and get herself up off the seat. It’s not impossible to do in a normal parking space but the extra width of the parent-child space makes it much easier for both of us. She toddles round the supermarket using the trolley to lean on but by the time she’s done, she is happier to sit just inside the exit doors and wait for me to bring the car round to her. You would not believe the number of rude comments and filthy looks I’ve had from people who see an able-bodied child-free adult getting into a car. I have often been tempted to ask them to get in the car and come over to see the frail old lady I am collecting. It’s either that, or punch them in the throat. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/45 "2015-07-22T12:37:00Z")
I think the bottom line is while everyone agrees that abuse of handicapped parking is real and problematic, there are enough and varied silent handicaps that for any _specific_ situation it’s really hard to judge who is faking and who is justifiably using a spot. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/46 "2015-07-22T13:36:26Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’d write a letter, with diagrams, to the LIRR. They might not be aware of the problem. Oh, they know. They just don’t give a damn. They want handicapped people to go to the next station East which does have an elevator. To hell with the fact some people might have to drive an extra ten miles a day. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/47 "2015-07-22T13:38:46Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Heart problems that require a handicapped hanger, severe arthritis, and breathing issues - these are not going to be people who trot into a store. Untrue, and I’m speaking as a physician. Many of these folks can function pretty normally for 5 to 15 minutes or even longer, then hit their wall. And then they’re pretty fucking disabled. So a wise person keeps their piehole shut unless there is overwhelming credible evidence to the contrary. Even then, they pick their battlegrounds. It’s the empty-headed assholes who bathe in the steatorrhea of recreational outrage and inflict their ignorant opinions on the disabled who need to be slapped and sterilized. ---
**Author:** ![lalaith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@lalaith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalaith)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/48 "2015-07-22T14:33:37Z")
It’s annoying because the handicap abuse does happen. When the woman who lives across the street from me was in medical care facilities, her middle-aged son who lived (make that mooched) off her, used her handicap placard the entire time. Never, ever had a qualm of conscience — but this asshole never had a qualm of conscience about anything. Drug addict, career criminal. Best thing that happened with the mother’s death is that piece of toxic waste had to move. But, I’ll admit that — illegal though it is — I’ve borrowed a handicap placard from a friend. I have an invisible medical condition. I’ve never even tried to get a handicap parking permit for myself. The vast majority of the time, I wouldn’t need it. (So I doubt I’d qualify.) But when I’m really bad and cannot walk a distance, I’ve borrowed one. I think I’ve done that twice. I’ve also borrowed when I’m transporting an elderly disabled person who doesn’t have one because they no longer have a car. As far as Wal-Mart and the carts…normally the people I see on the carts are morbidly obese or even super-morbidly obese (which, whatever my personal opinion, I can see where they have trouble walking, though they ought to be walking more). That’s the vast majority of the cart users here. Most of the rest of them look like they’re seriously ill, on death’s door even. Rarely do I see anyone in a cart on Wal-Mart who doesn’t fit into those categories. Though when that video of those two women fighting in Wal-Mart’s shampoo aisle came out, I noticed one of them started on a cart, then leaped off the cart to get into the fight and I was left wondering what she was on the cart for in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/49 "2015-07-22T17:32:56Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Untrue, and I’m speaking as a physician. Many of these folks can function pretty normally for 5 to 15 minutes or even longer, then hit their wall. And then they’re pretty fucking disabled. > > So a wise person keeps their piehole shut unless there is overwhelming credible evidence to the contrary. Even then, they pick their battlegrounds. > > It’s the empty-headed assholes who bathe in the steatorrhea of recreational outrage and inflict their ignorant opinions on the disabled who need to be slapped and sterilized. Well, it seemed credible to me at the time. ☹ Mea Culpa. I blame the pain for the ease with which I irritate. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/50 "2015-07-22T17:56:29Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Say what you will about Walmart, but their carts are always charged, and their aisles are wide enough to accommodate a motorized cart with room to spare. Though yesterday, the cashier gave me a hard time about leaving the store in my cart (my car was parked 20 feet from the entrance). She expected me to carry loads of groceries to the car; I can’t do that. I even promised to return the cart to the store, which I always do. **panache** , I use a motorized scooter when I shop. Some stores are cool with people taking the carts outside, but if you request help, an employee will walk outside with you, load the groceries into your car, and return the cart to the store. Wal-Mart is very good at this, and so is Safeway. I am fine with this, but I realize sometimes you want to be on your way and an employee might not be immediately available. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/51 "2015-07-22T18:32:45Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > Knee scooter = a form of wheeled support that you use with one leg standing and the other resting on the device, instead of sitting. You rest your bent knee on a platform, it has 4 wheels and handle bars. Mine has hand brakes, like a bicycle. > > [Knee Scooter](http://www.amazon.com/Drive-Medical-Aluminum-Steerable-Alternative/dp/B003VMAKVS/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1437427704&sr=1-1&keywords=knee+scooter) I used one for a bit when I broke my foot a few years back. There’s a trick to using them on sidewalks - you quickly learn to jerk upwards on the handlebars as you approach even the smallest of bumps in the sidewalk. Otherwise, you’re zipping along, the front wheel hits the bump and stops - and everything else is governed by the laws of physics, and therefore does NOT stop. My sympathies. I didn’t see as much of the “people are assholes” stuff because I wasn’t as disabled, but I was bemused with doors: many are on those self-closing mechanisms and there is NO WAY to get through the door before it closes. One offender: the orthopedist’s office :rolleyes::smack:. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/52 "2015-07-22T18:34:04Z")
> [@scareyfaerie](#): > > You would not believe the number of rude comments and filthy looks I’ve had from people who see an able-bodied child-free adult getting into a car. I have often been tempted to ask them to get in the car and come over to see the frail old lady I am collecting. It’s either that, or punch them in the throat. You are in the UK, I think? Over here, those mother and child spaces have no legal standing, so when I am forced to use one because the handicapped spaces are full, I just glare back. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Untrue, and I’m speaking as a physician. Many of these folks can function pretty normally for 5 to 15 minutes or even longer, then hit their wall. And then they’re pretty fucking disabled. It’s the “trot” that I don’t think these folks are doing - are they really trotting from their cars into the stores? I could trot into a store, but I’m not going to do it because it just means I’m going to be in trouble sooner. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/53 "2015-07-22T18:39:16Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Forget the assholes misappropriating grandma’s car, I’ve wondered how often the temporary handicapped tags are issued unnecessarily. Since they have to be requested by a medical professional, I’d assume it’s not all that common. Once you have it, of course, there’s nothing to prevent you from continuing to use it after the disability is ended (e.g. if you only need it for 2 months but it’s good for another 4). ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/54 "2015-07-22T18:47:12Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Since they have to be requested by a medical professional, I’d assume it’s not all that common. I have seen them for sale at swap meets here … ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/55 "2015-07-22T18:48:44Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Fair enough; but when nothing seems wrong, does that mean they still need to use the handicapped spot? And would the person with MS be horsing around with his/her friends when they get out of the vehicle? > > In any case, the folks arguing with #2 are technically correct, it is always possible that there is some handicap or disability that is not immediately obvious. But we’ve also seen the studies that show that handicap placard abuse is rampant ([here](http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/matier-ross/article/Misuse-of-disabled-parking-placards-costing-S-F-5897226.php)’s one article from last year about San Francisco; [here](http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Downtown-Drivers-Abusing-Handicap-Placards-for-Free-Parking-304178381.html)’s another one from this year about San Diego. I don’t know, maybe it’s a California thing). > > So the odds are that if no-one in the vehicle appears to be handicapped, then the driver is taking advantage of someone else’s card to score a good parking space. Yes, this is a “catch 22”. If you _are_ handicapped, you certainly dont want cheaters hogging the handicapped parking, right? But then you get all upset if anyone challenges you. You should be happy every time you are challenged. There are a lot of cheaters out there, how else can they be deterred? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_of\_Words](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@Jack\_of\_Words](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_of_Words)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/56 "2015-07-22T18:57:23Z")
\<\< Type 4 ☹ Sorry. Just the once, mind, though I should know better (being a different sort of crip). I was walking up the very long and increasingly steep hill to my home on a sticky hot day when someone whizzed past me on a mobility scooter (I say whizzed, he was moving slightly faster than me). I said “Oh, I’d like one of those.” He said “No you wouldn’t.” No, I wouldn’t… On the plus side, I’ve never driven, so never parked in your spot. I even argue, politely but firmly, with lazy shoppers who leave their trolleys on the walkway through the carpark - obstructing wheelchair users _and_ parents with pushchairs. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/57 "2015-07-22T19:05:39Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I think the bottom line is while everyone agrees that abuse of handicapped parking is real and problematic, there are enough and varied silent handicaps that for any _specific_ situation it’s really hard to judge who is faking and who is justifiably using a spot. That, and it is perfectly legitimate for an able-bodied person to assist/drive/use the spot when transporting a disabled person. I get the dirty looks, too, sometimes. I also have once or twice gotten grief when, the disabled person not being present on the trip, someone with me wanted me to use the placard/plate to park in a handicapped spot for convenience. Even with the special plate, if the disabled person isn’t along no, it’s not legal for me to use the parking spot. I will not do so for the convenience of the able-bodied no matter how bad the weather or how distant the legitimate parking. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/58 "2015-07-22T19:11:40Z")
> [@lalaith](#): > > But, I’ll admit that — illegal though it is — I’ve borrowed a handicap placard from a friend. I have an invisible medical condition. I’ve never even tried to get a handicap parking permit for myself. The vast majority of the time, I wouldn’t need it. (So I doubt I’d qualify.) But when I’m really bad and cannot walk a distance, I’ve borrowed one. You should look into getting a hang-tag. You are not _obligated_ to use it - by all means, if you feel up to using a regular parking space do so, leave the special ones for those who are truly needy that day - but it would be better, assuming you qualify, if you had a legit tag. > [@](#): > > I think I’ve done that twice. I’ve also borrowed when I’m transporting an elderly disabled person who doesn’t have one because they no longer have a car. I don’t know about the rules where you live, but where I live, you don’t need a car to get the hang-tag. People who can’t drive can get one so those transporting them are able to utilize the handicapped spots when they’re along for the ride, it’s not linked to a specific vehicle like a handicapped license plate would be. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/59 "2015-07-22T19:44:54Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > It’s the “trot” that I don’t think these folks are doing - are they really trotting from their cars into the stores? I could trot into a store, but I’m not going to do it because it just means I’m going to be in trouble sooner. Your experience is not universal for all disabled people. I know of one twenty-something whose lung functions and hemoglobin are low enough that he can’t sustain effort for long, but he still likes to act and move like a normal healthy youth when he’s able. Even if he pays for it later. He hates acting like an ‘old man’ before his time. He’ll be acting that way 24/7 soon enough as it is. Is catching the fakers (and I don’t deny there are plenty of them) really worth confronting the genuinely compromised people with your (in their cases) misplaced outrage? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712/60 "2015-07-22T19:45:59Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > It’s the “trot” that I don’t think these folks are doing - are they really trotting from their cars into the stores? I could trot into a store, but I’m not going to do it because it just means I’m going to be in trouble sooner. For a moment lets think about whether the word “trot” was used somewhat hyperbolically or to describe the difference between expectation (an obviously handicapped person moving towards the store) and what they saw (a person moving a typical way, perhaps walking normally and briskly) and not worry about the actual definition of trot is. The point is someone can look perfectly normal- even healthy- and later be exhausted and wasted. Even if you would save your strength, not everyone does that or has to. I know my sister with MS, on the days she’s feeling really good, enjoys walking and moving with energy, even if she runs the risk of feeling tired later. Again, bottom is line is that it is near impossible to judge any given situation, especially based on preconceived ideas of what you think someone should or shouldn’t look like while using a handicapped tag. ETA: exactly what QtM said, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-collection-of-observations-while-being-temporarily-handicapped/725712.md?page=4)