# A compassionate word to the parking-skills challenged **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930 "2001-03-06T14:07:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DJScherr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DJScherr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJScherr)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/21 "2001-03-08T02:32:04Z")
I hear ya RacerX parking in Minneapolis sucks ass… it is normally crowded in my neighborhood because most of the houses around here have multiple tenets (thankfully I am not near the University :)). And right in front of my house is a spot where TWO cars can fit, one of my roomates and I if we are luckily can EASILY park there. But more often then not some fuckwad in his piddly wannabe truck will park dead squat right in front of my house killing both spots… I was especially not happy this last friday when this piece of shit takes up both spots and I come home to walk a block and a freakin half just so I can get some sleep after spending the last 24 hours awake and most of those working my ass off. I swear one of these days his car might have a couple flats on it when he wakes up in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![racerx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5e9695/32.png) [@racerx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racerx)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/22 "2001-03-08T16:36:12Z")
Wow, **Frenis** , talk about sweet revenge. I shall live vicariously through your triumph. **DJScherr** , my old place had a spot that could accomodate three cars, if they all cooperated with the spacing allowance. Naturally there was always one asshole who decided that only two cars could fit there. Occasionally these cars were “bounced” into the street. Oops! “Well, it was blocking the driveway, and. . and. . .” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/23 "2001-03-08T23:17:38Z")
And, we need to include people who don’t understand the word _compact_. If you park your hulking SUV in a compact space next to my car, you can be sure that I will quite cheerfully slam my door into yours after I have, by necessary, squeezed in sideways to reach the door of my car. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/24 "2001-03-08T23:18:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ignatzmouse \* > \*\*To the pasty, waddling young man with the expensive SUV: > > I realize that you have probably mortgaged your home to buy a car that you haven’t the ability to drive. I also realize that in your mind, your shiny, shiny car makes you the most important person. > > I would, however, like to offer you this handy tip about parking. When you park diagonally across three spaces in a packed parking lot, you aren’t actually reducing the likelihood that your car will be damaged. True, other drivers are less likely to scratch your doors… > \*\* Hmm, wouldn’t exactly say that; seems like my keys were in my hand, and I didn’t realize I was _that_ close to your shiny, shiny car…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/25 "2001-03-08T23:29:08Z")
…unless things change. The Security Guy apparently had at least 5 more cars towed between yesterday when I left and the middle of his shift today! Fear is in the air. There is the scent of raw terror eminating from the “Parking Challenged”. And it smells _good_! Further updates as events warrant! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/26 "2001-03-11T06:42:19Z")
When I was 8 months pregnant, I had parked my four door car at the mall in a spot ( between the white lines, thank you) with no one on either side of me. When I came out, not one, but two cars (one SUV and a sedan ) on either side of me, so close that I could not get in - pregnant or not - into through either of the front doors. I was able to squeeze - sideways and buttways - in through the back door and climb over the seat to get into the drivers seat, which is pulled far forward because I have short legs. It was almost like reentering the birth canal. So, Imagine doing this with a basketball stuffed in your shirt. I was so annoyed, that before I climbed in, I wrote two heated notes for each assholes windshield. They went something like this: Thank you so much for parking so close to my car. I am 8 months pregnant and had to squeeze in through the back door and climb over the seat because you don’t have a concept of parking. Notice the white lines that your car is parked on. They are there for a reason. One tiny question, did you ride the short bus to school or what? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/27 "2001-03-11T19:22:40Z")
Shirley, you’re a better person than I. I would have broken off their fucking mirrors, had I been eight months pregnant. Errr… not that that is likely to happen, of course. But I **do** routinely “fold back” mirrors of idiots that park too close to my car. Hey, they’ll notice it when they first check them. That means they have to stop to readjust them. Pain in the ass, just like having to squeeze into your car because some nutjob can’t drive. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/28 "2001-03-11T19:27:46Z")
I confess, I’m lousy in a parking lot. On the road, I’m great–have not had one accident. But parking–I have an IQ of 20. But I make it easy for people, though. I know I am horrible, so I park far away and into a spot I know I can just drive forward instead of backing up. Sure, I have to walk a long way to my destination, but that’s my punishment for being a moron in parking lots. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/29 "2001-03-11T20:07:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neptune\_1984 \* > **I confess, I’m lousy in a parking lot. Sure, I have to walk a long way to my destination, but that’s my punishment for being a moron in parking lots.** Your self awareness is commendable. Would that there were more like you. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/30 "2001-03-11T20:47:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neptune\_1984 \* > **I know I am horrible, so I park far away and into a spot I know I can just drive forward instead of backing up. Sure, I have to walk a long way to my destination, but that’s my punishment for being a moron in parking lots.** Someone who goes to extra effort to avoid inconvienecing others is de facto not a moron. Just the opposite, in fact. 🙂 Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/31 "2001-03-11T22:36:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by neptune\_1984 \* > > **I know I am horrible, so I park far away and into a spot I know I can just drive forward instead of backing up. Sure, I have to walk a long way to my destination, but that’s my punishment for being a moron in parking lots.** > > Someone who goes to extra effort to avoid inconvienecing others is de facto not a moron. Just the opposite, in fact. 🙂 > > Fenris \*\* Thanks. But I’m afraid the only thing going through my mind as I’m walking the 5 miles from my space to the Super Wal-Mart in biting bitter wind is, “Gee, I’m a moron. Learn how to drive, you moron.” Over and over. But then seeing some sap waiting 10 minutes for someone else to get out of a parking spot just so that they can park there makes up for my stupidity and I feel happier. Heh, morons. ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930/32 "2001-03-12T06:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by schief2 \* > \*\* > That’s why I can almost, almost understand how it came to be that you backed out too far, too fast, and put a big fat old dent in my fender, leaving behind a swatch of white paint as spoor. I still think you’re an obnoxious cock gobbler who couldn’t steer his way out of a wet paper bag, but hey, I guess these things happen once in a while… > \*\* Um, most of us cock-gobblers are really good at parking and steering. Both at once, sometimes… Well, on special occasions - birthdays, anniversaries. NEVER Bar-mitzvahs, however. And the cock-gobblers manual makes a point of warning us to eschew obnoxious behaviour. **Cock-gobbler and proud of it.** Redboss [sub] I LOVE saying cock-gobbler! [/sub] PS Hello to all the other cock-gobblers out there! Been getting some good cock-gobbling lately? [sub]cock-gobbling, cock-gobbling, cock-gobbling all day cock-gobbling I mean cock-gobbling I’ll say cock gobbling cock [/sub][rest of message deleted by someone who behaves like an ADULT] Time to log off, I think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-compassionate-word-to-the-parking-skills-challenged/56930.md?page=1)