# A Comprehensive Compendium of Fictional Foods **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 28, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004 "2003-06-28T18:21:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/61 "2003-07-02T04:07:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrainGlutton \* > \*\*So, according to The Cecil, eating monkey brains is now illegal but “the Chinese still eat them whenever they can get away with it.” So it’s not implausible, really, that they might have been served at an Indian’ rajah’s banquet in the 1930s, when _IJ&TDOT_ was set. \*\* Frankly, I don’t care _when_ they’re served, I ain’t eatin’ 'em. I really do _not_ want to know how you got your Dopername. ---
**Author:** ![eburacum45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eburacum45/32/8690_2.png) [@eburacum45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eburacum45)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/62 "2003-07-02T11:42:20Z")
Some more Larry Niven ones; - Dole yeast\* for the casualties of interstellar economics _weenie plant_ sausages on a bush _minch_ Ringworld condiment _shreem_ Kzin soup, indistinguishable from blood. * * * SF worldbuilding at [http://www.orionsarm.com/main.html](http://www.orionsarm.com/main.html) ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/63 "2003-07-02T11:45:41Z")
GINGOLD, the fabulous drink that gives Ralph Dibney the power to stretch and so he becomes The ELONGATED MAN. DC Comics ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/64 "2003-07-02T12:38:18Z")
Then there’s the **Stuff** , from the movie of the same name. It is a naturally _mined_ product that tastes great, and is less filling. It’s a wee bit addictive but you sure won’t gain any weight. Until it eats you from the inside out. (Oh, and it bears a striking resemblance to Marshmallow Fluff.) What about the Spice from the **Dune** series? Not sure if that counts as a food. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/65 "2003-07-02T14:19:54Z")
The late, still-lamented _Farscape_ put weirdzo foods on the table all the time: Crispy Grolak, Hynerian Marjules, Cholian Curd Salad, Terleum Molluscs…Crackers… The Scarrans’ taste for Chrystherium flowers was their Achilles’ heel, of course, though we never found out why. They looked suspiciously like bird-of-paradise. And if you couldn’t get any of these, you had to eat Food Cubes. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/66 "2003-07-02T14:24:42Z")
In the Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster (an excellent children’s book, btw), there is a dish called Subtraction Stew, served in the city of Digitopolis. In short, one eats it when one is full and one gets hungrier the more he eats. When you’re famished you finish eating and wait to get full again. Likewise, in Dictionopolis, people generally eat their words, literally. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/67 "2004-06-25T02:10:00Z")
See you at the Korova bar for a **milkplus**. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/68 "2004-06-25T23:05:45Z")
**Weenie-tots!** A great favorite of Al Bundy’s. Kelly was the spokesmodel for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/69 "2004-06-25T23:42:45Z")
> [@Helena](#): > > In the **Redwall** books they eat something called “meadow cream,” whatever that is. Don’t forget the cheeses. (Made from plants. Somehow.) From D&D: Rothe: A kind of oxen-like beast, used for meat. Feywine: An elven wine. Fermented mushroom wine: The Drow equivelant. Dwarven Gutbuster: (Actually, I don’t know if that’s canon, or an invention of one of the DMs I’ve played under. It’s made it into my campaign.) Alcoholic beverage. Potent. That’s about the best you can say about it. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/70 "2004-06-26T01:39:32Z")
How about the Shmoos (spelling may vary) from Al Capp’s Lil Abner comic strip. The Schmoos (sp?) were wonderful creatures who were completely edible, delicious and happy to die for your dinner. Naturally, their availability would have solved world hunger - but ruined capitalism. So the goverment tried to kill them off. What a great comic strip. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/71 "2004-06-26T02:46:28Z")
> [@well he's back](#): > > How about the Shmoos (spelling may vary) from Al Capp’s Lil Abner comic strip. The Schmoos (sp?) were wonderful creatures who were completely edible, delicious and happy to die for your dinner. Naturally, their availability would have solved world hunger - but ruined capitalism. So the goverment tried to kill them off. What a great comic strip. Exactly what I had been thinking of when I saw this thread: [Shmoon](http://www.lil-abner.com/shmoo.html) (plural of Shmoo): > [@](#): > > According to Shmoo legend, the lovable creature laid eggs, gave milk and died of sheer esctasy when looked at with hunger. The Shmoo loved to be eaten and tasted like any food desired. Anything that delighted people delighted a Shmoo. Fry a Shmoo and it came out chicken. Broil it and it came out steak. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/72 "2004-06-26T03:07:01Z")
I’m not feeling morose enough, so I’d like to try some [Achewater](http://www.achewood.com/about.php). ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/73 "2004-06-26T15:37:08Z")
Don’t forget those culinary delights from Saturday Night Live: **Okra Cola** **Quarry** cereal “Tastes better 'cause it’s mined!” **Colon Blow** cereal Speaking of cereal, from Animaniacs: **Branimaniacs** cereal “Eat Branimaniacs nutritionally it lacks but this cereal attacks all of your digestive tracks…” (i forget the rest) More from Futurama: **Popplers** “They’re like sex, except that I’m having them!” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/74 "2004-06-26T16:13:05Z")
What? Two pages and no mention of **green eggs and ham**? Or **roast beast**? (Or did someone mention them and I missed it?) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/75 "2004-06-28T17:43:29Z")
**Lissla** – Old Peculiar is a real, live, actual beer (English of course, but I had it in the states) And if I remember right, not too bad, though it may not be your, uh, cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/76 "2004-06-28T18:08:10Z")
**Crottled Greeps** – from one of Larry Niven’s stories, a sort of small, wriggling crustacian that is eaten live with a “special sauce”. A winner for the name alone! and three from The Masters: **Prime** – from Isaac Asimov’s _A Matter of Taste_. **Ambrosia Plus** – From Arthur Clarke’s _Food of the Gods_ **Dinner Tree** – From Robert Heinlein’s _Methuselah’s Children_ ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/77 "2004-06-28T18:11:28Z")
Orsh, from “Left Hand of Darkness” by Ursula LeGuin. Fayelin, a “stimulating but non-intoxicating beverage” from the Lensman series. And Star Tears, the description of whose collection is too nasty to post. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/78 "2004-06-28T21:01:47Z")
\*\* The snozzberries taste like snozzberries. – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory \*\* That line has been buzzing around my brain for \* years. \* ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/79 "2004-06-28T21:48:43Z")
In real life, on store shelves today, you can get **reduced sugar** varieties of Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops. The problem is, they taste like they need to have some sugar added to them. I think they’re going the wrong route. They should instead introduce pre-sweetened breakfast cereals that use artificial sweeteners instead. Like:[ul][li]Kellogg’s Aspartame Frosted Flakes (they’re Gr-r-r-r-rphenylketonuric!)[/li][li]Kellogg’s Sorbitol Loops[/li][li]Post Super Splenda Crisp[/li][li]Post Cyclamate Pebbles[/li][li]Sacchariney Charms (they’re magically rodent-carcinogenic!)[/li]Xylitol Puffs (I’m Cuckoo for Xylitol Puffs!)[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004/80 "2004-06-29T06:03:07Z")
How about a brand that existed only in a series of commercials. Back in the late 1970s for several years… > [@](#): > > Popular commercials for Portland’s Blitz-Weinhard beer featured an Oregon Border Patrol officer who repeatedly stops a California brewery from trucking its Schludwiller beer into the state. “Well, now,” the patrolman would ask, “where you going with all that beer?” before sending the Schludwiller truck back over the state line. It doesn’t take long to figure that “Schludwiller” is a coy amalgamation of SCHLitz, bUDWeiser and mILLER. One of my treasured possessions for a number of years was a Schludwiller t-shirt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-comprehensive-compendium-of-fictional-foods/185004.md?page=5)