# A condom question for the gents... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 27, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864 "2000-11-27T16:38:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/21 "2000-11-27T20:18:28Z")
You know that weird font they use for the serial numbers on condoms? No? I guess you never had to unroll one that far then. 😃 Thank you, I’ll be here all week. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/22 "2000-11-27T20:22:45Z")
Nen: I’m not evil! My husband just has a delightful sense of humor! _…okay, I’m evil…_ ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/23 "2000-11-27T20:44:52Z")
Well I use the Trojan Magnum condoms. I’ve found the standard issue ones to be a bit too tight. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/24 "2000-11-27T21:14:59Z")
I wish there were big diffrences - then guys might start to buy them themselfs (cause the girls would of course always buy the wrong ones)… and women could use the condom-money for weed… for example… dodgy ---
**Author:** ![madmark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@madmark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmark)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/25 "2000-11-27T22:28:13Z")
this whole discussion reminds me of an old joke. An Indian kid asks his father why his brother is called Howling Wolf. The father answers: because when he was conceived, we could hear a howling wolf in the distance. The kid then asks: Why is my sister called Shining Moon? The father answers: because when she was conceived, the moon was shining. “Father, why am I called Broken Rubber?” ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/26 "2000-11-27T23:02:22Z")
I can’t believe all you you people buy “off the rack”, tacky. I have a haberdasher who works in laytex and all of my sheaths are custom fitted and tailored for seasonal use. I like to wear mine much longer in the winter, you know. Seriously though i just buy whatever they have at PPH or I vary my purchase depending on the woman’s preference or possible allergies. My own preference is either a kimono ultra sensitive or spartan lubricated (Spartan will not prevent the transmission of HIV so I don’t use them often or at least not in some time.), i also like the lifestyles regular and ribbed and rarely buy Trojan unless it is the “enz” variation as I tend to break Trojans (not size related i think their laytex is of an infewrior grade or the shape of the condom contradicts the shape of my penis.). ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/27 "2000-11-27T23:24:02Z")
(Lyrically) “…Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers, this one is too tight, I’ll have another…” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/28 "2000-11-28T00:12:00Z")
Are those lamb condoms really made from sheep guts? ewe ! ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/29 "2000-11-28T00:20:10Z")
:eek: Wow! I go off to class and this thread takes off like a…a…never mind. Then again, I should have expected as much. 😃 Ok, speed replies. **dadzone** : hee hee hee **madmark** : heard it before **VB** : ::applauds:: **Nen** : Very informative. Thank you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/30 "2000-11-28T03:47:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nen \* > \*\* > > [ul] > [li]Man attempts to place condom on penis.[/li][li]Man turns over condom so it may _unroll_ and attempts to place condom on penis again.[/li][li]After several minutes of effort, man is successful in placing condom on penis.[/li][li]Due to elapsed time, the other party is no longer “in the mood,” and due to the intense focus necessary to place the condom on the penis, man finds penis to be flaccid.[/li][/ul] > > \*\* Your supposed to let the woman put the condom on! Then it’s a part of foreplay, instead of a downer. When my ex & I used condoms, I was better than he at telling which was the right side. I actually enjoy putting a condom on a man - I like to give a little kiss first and tease a little while I’m doing it. Y’all can stop panting now! ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/31 "2000-11-28T05:55:29Z")
::taking notes:: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/32 "2000-11-28T08:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > > Actually, a regular size condom can fit the head, the head on top of your body. I saw them do that once on tv to prove they fit anyone. Pulled it right over & down the guys face. > > \*\* A woman from Planned Parenthood once came in to speak to our ‘Human Sexuality’ class. She said all the guys who complained condoms were too tight were full of it. She then proceeded to place an ordinary, regular condom on over her fist and rolled in down the length of her forearm. Then she spread her fingers out and said ‘“Too tight”, my ass’. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/33 "2000-11-28T08:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > \*\*Well I use the Trojan Magnum condoms. I’ve found the standard issue ones to be a bit too tight. \*\* **Silo** , I just _knew_ you’d show up in this thread! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Stimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Stimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/34 "2000-11-28T09:43:57Z")
Did you know that at the base of every condom there is an individual number printed next to the kite mark? No, you didn’t? How come? 😃 (unfortunately I can’t take credit for this joke, and can’t remember who can) ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/35 "2000-11-28T10:35:32Z")
I heard that they did start marketing a ‘Small’ size, but of course they didn’t call it small - it was ‘For A Snugger Fit’. I hate the damn things, half the time I use one I can’t even get off, IF I can maintain my erection through the process of putting one on. I’m so glad me and the wife are actually trying to have a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Stimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Stimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/36 "2000-11-28T12:32:50Z")
When on a date Billy Connolly turns up wearing the thing, to avoid embarrassing pauses later. If asked why, he would respond “It was raining on the way over…” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/37 "2000-11-28T12:53:54Z")
[Dennis Miller] “I wear 2 condoms all the time. When I go to f\*\*k, I take one off, I feel like a wild man. Kinda like swinging 2 bats in the on-deck circle” [/Dennis Miller] ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/38 "2000-11-28T13:02:34Z")
Quote: * * * A woman from Planned Parenthood once came in to speak to our ‘Human Sexuality’ class. She said all the guys who complained condoms were too tight were full of it. She then proceeded to place an ordinary, regular condom on over her fist and rolled in down the length of her forearm. Then she spread her fingers out and said ‘“Too tight”, my ass’. * * * This is a bad, bad, BAD analogy. A penis is NOT an arm. The first time I tried a regular condom (a Trojan) it HURT! Fluids that were supposed to be able to force their way through a bodily tube couldn’t and were forced back. You might be able to use arm muscle power to wrestle a condom over your arm, but expecting bodily hydraulics to force an expansion is an entirely different story. I was delighted to find sometjing called “Maxx” (which seems to have disappeared) and the “Magnums”. These fit, and work. This is no brag – it is a case of fitting to size. Size, in this case, is GIRTH, not LENGTH. People generally have not picked up on this. I wouldn’t say I was “bulbous”, but rather larger than average in diameter. The bottom line – even though they stretch, one size DEFINITELY does not fit all. This is why rubber gloves come in different sizes, too. I can understand the problem in marketing different sized condoms – what man is going to own up to “small”? The solution is to use the names of sods sizes – not Small, Medium, Large, but “Large”, “Extra”, and “Super”. (I refuse to comment on “Big Gulps”). ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/39 "2000-11-28T16:56:09Z")
tiggeril, they make a condom for females. How do you know which one FITS you? “The bottom line – even though they stretch, one size DEFINITELY does not fit all. This is why rubber gloves come in different sizes, too.” really? For those guys with 5 penises? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864/40 "2000-11-28T17:00:30Z")
No, that just gives you a choice of five inputs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-condom-question-for-the-gents/42864.md?page=3)