# A confession....can I get a witness **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253 "2000-04-19T18:26:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/1 "2000-04-19T18:26:00Z")
Ok, I have been in here, but mostly in the BBQ pit wallowing with the trolls for the last two days. Sorry. I seemed to have gotten carried away and have been down in the muck and mud, swapping licks with them. I apologize to all intelligent mpsims posters here and GQ heros as well as GD good guys, for furthering the cause of trollism. I beg your forgiveness. If I can’t have your forgiveness then I will be happy just to have your kind attention in the form of a slap upside the head. Now all you other troll feeders ( you know who you are) want to be washed clean? Now’s the time and here is the place. So come on my brothers and sisters tell it all, confess unto Cecil that you have in fact taken the proverbial bait and wallowed with trolls not unlike your brother aha. Just form a line here and sing with me now…Hymn number 38 in your books… I already am begining to feel like a new man! * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/2 "2000-04-19T18:35:00Z")
I feel like a new man, too . . . You know of one? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/3 "2000-04-19T18:41:00Z")
Sister Eve one should not be thinking about those kinds of things at a time like this. You know, during sacred moments of confession and all. * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/4 "2000-04-19T18:43:00Z")
Hah Brother Aha, I share your pain too. I have been taken in by the evil one. I had posted in such a way as to give the evil one pleasure. I know now that I was wrong. I have seen the light to troll freedom . I…I…I…guess I got a little carried away there. Whatever, Aha Keith * * * “I’m tired of being an object of ridicule. I wanna be a figure of fear, respect, and SEX!” -Radar O’Reilly ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/5 "2000-04-19T21:20:00Z")
:: ultress slanters into the room :: Yes, I have learned to slanter now. Shame on you. You have stooped to the low level of wallowing with trolls in the mud and the blood and the beer. Pick yourselves up and redeem yourselves. I will ponder a suitable punishment. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes _profile by UncleBeer_ ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/6 "2000-04-19T21:23:00Z")
I dunno why I have this unexpected bout of optimism, but I haven’t given up on The Urge just yet. ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/7 "2000-04-19T21:47:00Z")
I agree with **mouthbreather**. The smirk might turn into a decent poster someday. He can be amusing. But, I have to admit, my hopes for him have dwindled since he started his Pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/8 "2000-04-19T21:49:00Z")
“I feel like a new man, too . . . You know of one?” Since I’ve been passed over in both the ‘crushes’ and ‘anti-crushes’ threads, I’m guessing I qualify as new . . . Well, okay, slightly used. But with really low mileage. And all original parts. I don’t even live in Idaho. That’s gotta count for something. . . Dr. Watson “She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.” – Woody Allen ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/9 "2000-04-19T21:56:00Z")
Yes, I have wallowed. Hey, I just wanted to practice flaming, and I saw an opportunity. I know that’s not an excuse… Actually I think once The Urge takes off his troll mask, he’ll turn out to be a decent kid. I thought his OP in his “little secret” thread was hilarious. It was obviously a humorous self-parody. The recent Invasion of the Multi-Trolls has left folks on this board a bit over-sensitive. I think a few troll antennae are frozen on maximum sensitivity. I say we give The Urge a break. * * * Now in my second month of exile in the 21 pit ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/10 "2000-04-19T21:58:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by aha: > **Sister Eve one should not be thinking about those kinds of things at a time like this. You know, during sacred moments of confession and all.** Hey! You still owe me a confession, friend! [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000949.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000949.html) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/11 "2000-04-19T22:49:00Z")
:::Cristi slinks into room::: I…um, well, I… :::braks down in tears::: I fed him! Oh man, I fed him. I fed him so much that Milossarian took away my snack pack. Oh boy. I got a fruit cup, though, because I apologized and Milo said my flame was good. 🙂 I promise to try not to do that anymore, I really do. It really sucked not having a snack pack today. You know how hard it is to trade fruit cups? Oh, and agisofia? You still suck. 😃 * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/12 "2000-04-20T00:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ultress: > \*\*:: ultress slanters into the room :: > > Yes, I have learned to slanter now. Shame on you. You have stooped to the low level of wallowing with trolls in the mud and the blood and the beer. Pick yourselves up and redeem yourselves. I will ponder a suitable punishment. > \*\* Ga head ultress punish me I deserve it … 😛 * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/13 "2000-04-20T10:49:00Z")
Geesh **aha** I’m trying to think of a punishment that you **won’t** enjoy. I would do the leather thing but then you’d just beg for more. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes _profile by UncleBeer_ ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-confession-can-i-get-a-witness/16253/14 "2000-04-22T03:45:00Z")
I’ve ‘mothered’ them, rather than flaming, but alas, sitting them in the corner did no good. However, they are just kids, and when they grow up, maybe we’ll hear from them again…hopefully, in good ways! * * * “I never saw so many words compressed into so small an idea.” Abraham Lincoln