# A correct, but so very wrong, answer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854 "2008-07-17T18:03:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/21 "2008-07-17T21:36:26Z")
I don’t drink coffee, so asking me if we had any would be less than useful. ---
**Author:** ![Mumio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@Mumio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mumio)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/22 "2008-07-17T21:41:08Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] Nah. I say stuff like the OP’s comment sometimes, and always regret it, because it’s not helpful. It has nothing to do with “the woman in my life”: it has to do with getting what I want to get out of life. The morning isn’t a time for family combat. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad, defensive, or ashamed. If coffee were on the list, I might say that, meaning, “I’m not sure, we might not be out of it because I put it on the list and maybe you got it,” not thinking fast enough to realize that if you got it you wouldn’t be asking me the question. I definitely wouldn’t say it, meaning, “Don’t ask me, moron, you’re the one supposed to have bought it.” But that might be what it sounds like (since otherwise it’s a dumb comment). **Again, it’s not tiptoing, it’s getting what you want. If you don’t want to put a pall over the morning, even a minor pall, you try not to say such things.** Daniel [/QUOTE] My hubby has a wonderful outlook on things: happy wife, happy life. Works very well for us ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/23 "2008-07-17T22:03:17Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Woah. It was a joke, guys. I really didn’t mean to start a debate on the merits of not being a wuss. [/QUOTE] LOL , are you posting on a different dope than the rest of us. Declan ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/24 "2008-07-17T22:07:13Z")
[QUOTE=A Priori Tea] See, I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I get what you’re saying - moderating what I say in order to get what I want out of someone is a thing that I understand, and I applaud your doing it with care and consideration for the feelings of the people around you. I am not known as the Queen of Tact, however, and I tend only to attract and maintain relationships with people who understand that I _do_ say things like the OP said, and when I say “I put coffee on the list” it means “I put coffee on the list; I am now awaiting further data as to the result of that action.” It doesn’t have a value judgment attached, unless there’s already an argument afoot (which I don’t read from the OP at all). If the person listening needs to attach a value judgment where there is none, then that’s probably not someone who’s going to be in my house at breakfast-time very often, if at all. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Yeah, you’d drive me nuts. I can’t see how you _wouldn’t_ read a value judgment into that answer. Person 1 : “are we out of coffee?” Person 2: “I put it on the shopping list” The implication is that Person 1 does the shopping and didn’t get it and thus it’s a failure on their part. Sure in this case, it IS 🙂 but if you put something on the list that someone else is going to use while going shopping, it’s nice to actually tell them verbally as well. It’s far easier to miss something on a list that you yourself did not put on it. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/25 "2008-07-17T23:03:42Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] I’ve discovered that as I get older, I’m more interested in peace and quiet than in justice. [/QUOTE] You have discovered the meaning of life; I thought I was the only one who knew. I’ve also come to believe that very few things actually matter and that most of the things that do matter don’t matter very much. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/26 "2008-07-17T23:05:58Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] I’ve discovered that as I get older, I’m more interested in peace and quiet than in justice. [/QUOTE] Understandable. You’re a prosecutor. (Kidding! Kidding! Just jokes! :D) ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/27 "2008-07-18T02:25:03Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] I’ve discovered that as I get older, I’m more interested in peace and quiet than in justice. [/QUOTE] I used to have big problems here. Now, as a pirate looks at 40, I’m starting to understand. _Redemption song. This is my, Redemption song._ ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/28 "2008-07-18T03:13:10Z")
Remove gender from the OP. Result? You don’t mess with people before their first cup of coffee. Doesn’t matter who shopped when, absence of coffee is a crisis. (Of course, from the OP, I envisioned a woman with twin girls under a year, possibly colicy, definitely still nursing, so the ‘coffee window’ was narrowing with each breath …) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/29 "2008-07-18T04:14:15Z")
Honestly, it took me two read-throughs to get the joke. I thought she was cranky because he was reminding her about _her_ turn to get the coffee. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/30 "2008-07-18T13:14:55Z")
[QUOTE=j666] (Of course, from the OP, I envisioned a woman with twin girls under a year, possibly colicy, definitely still nursing, so the ‘coffee window’ was narrowing with each breath …) [/QUOTE] Actually, there’s 3 girls, and they’re older than that (8,6,4), but she was going to be home with them all day while I’d be escaping to work, and she’s still recovering from shoulder surgery, so while your details are incorrect, the attitude you’re envisioning is spot on. **LHoD** nailed my outlook pretty well. Why on earth would I want to start the morning with an argument? There were several other ways of answering that question that weren’t so confrontational. Some of you see that as tiptoeing, I see it as putting a small amount of effort into not being abrasive with the most important person in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854/31 "2008-07-18T13:44:38Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] Understandable. You’re a prosecutor. (Kidding! Kidding! Just jokes! :D) [/QUOTE] heh. I knew someone would say that, because of the GD thread going on right now. I mean purely in a domestic sense, of course. Still, you do realize that whenever you and I meet, you’re getting an atomic wedgie, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-correct-but-so-very-wrong-answer/456854.md?page=1)