# A coupla cents short of a dollar... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750 "2001-10-11T06:15:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/1 "2001-10-11T06:15:38Z")
I’m interested in some variations on the following theme… Please feel free to add as many funnies as you’ve ever heard, because my other half reckons he’s heard them all 😛 … a beer short of a six-pack, … a sandwich short of a picnic, … not the sharpest knife in the drawer (stolen from another thread / can’t remember who or where) … not the brightest penny to come out of the mint, … etc… Am looking forward to seeing what sort of insults the doper’s can come up with, along these lines, because I’m sure we can prove my other half that there are planty more out there that he hasn’t heard yet ! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/2 "2001-10-11T06:24:19Z")
How about these for starters? His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. His cheese slipped off his cracker. He is a couple bricks shy of a load. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/3 "2001-10-11T06:25:04Z")
From _Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn_: A few planes short of an airforce. A few tiles missing from his space shuttle. A flower short of an arrangement. A flying buttress short of a cathedral. He’s eight pawns short of a gambit. Going through life pushing doors marked “Pull”. Bright as an acetylene torch – without an oxygen supply. If his IQ was two points higher he’d be a rock. and so on … ---
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/4 "2001-10-11T07:29:47Z")
-running a slug instead of a hamster -a few quarts short of a gallon -one sperm that should have been swallowed -not the brightest lamp on the street -not the fastest car on the track -not the sharpest pencil in the box I’ll post more when i remember them… ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/5 "2001-10-11T08:23:39Z")
a few 'roos loose in the top paddock ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/6 "2001-10-11T09:45:26Z")
Sharp as a sack of wet mice. ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/7 "2001-10-11T10:12:45Z")
Along the same lines as **Dijon** ’s… - Sharp as a bowling ball. And a couple that I ripped off somewhere or other… - One tree short of a hammock. - A few pancakes short of an International House. ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/8 "2001-10-11T10:18:28Z")
[hijack] mmmmm… miiiiice… yummmm… 😃 [/hijack] ok, ok, how about a few fries short of a happy meal the wheel’s turning, but the hamster’s dead makes a slug look like Einstein a few pages short of a novel that’s all i can think of… _think, think, think_ ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/9 "2001-10-11T10:46:11Z")
I always liked “He’s not around the bend, but his turn signal’s always on,” but I don’t think that’s quite the same implication. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/10 "2001-10-11T10:55:30Z")
Not the brightest ornament on the tree Smart as a box of rocks Sharp as a bag of hair ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sota_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/11 "2001-10-11T11:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Wump \* > \*\* > -one sperm that should have been swallowed > -not the brightest lamp on the street_\* Now _this_ like! And the one about the 'roos that **reprise** did. You’re from Aussie, huh? I love it!! ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sota\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sota_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/12 "2001-10-11T11:04:03Z")
Oops! That should have had _ **just** _ the “sperm” joke quoted. Sorry! My bad! ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/13 "2001-10-11T11:14:14Z")
Dumber than a bag of hammers He’s got the personality of a sack of wet mud Like trying to explain nuclear fission to a cranberry If he had twice the brains he’d still be a half-wit Not the brightest bulb in the string A few olives(?) short of a salad ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/14 "2001-10-11T11:23:15Z")
A few clowns shy of a circus. (Along the “Not the sharpest knife…” line) Not the sharpest tool in the shed. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/15 "2001-10-11T11:25:20Z")
I love 'em guys ! Keep ‘em comin’. By the time my SO gets home from work, I’ll have heaps of examples to show him that he doesn’t know all 😃 Then he’ll HAVE to believe me when I say that only Cecil knows all… there you go, every thread has to have at least one gratuitous Cecil remark. ---
**Author:** ![Joyfulgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Joyfulgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joyfulgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/16 "2001-10-11T11:33:25Z")
Not the brightest crayon in the box. [sup]Because of this saying, I once had a debate about which crayon was the dullest. We finally agreed it was Macaroni and Cheese.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/17 "2001-10-11T12:36:43Z")
The lights are on but nobody’s home. ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/18 "2001-10-11T12:52:50Z")
Not the quickest bunny in the forest Variation on the hammer theme: Dumber than a sack a’ doorknobs A few cornflakes short of a bowl A moron studying hard to be an idiot and failing badly ---
**Author:** ![Wolfkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/aca169/32.png) [@Wolfkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfkin)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/19 "2001-10-11T13:57:47Z")
6 cans but missing the little plastic thingy that holds it all together. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750/20 "2001-10-11T14:09:48Z")
“A few tacos short of a combo platter” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-coupla-cents-short-of-a-dollar/86750.md?page=2)