# A crazy gunman starts shooting up your school or workplace. What's your plan? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2009, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900 "2009-01-12T11:33:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/1 "2009-01-12T11:33:08Z")
Every so often in the news you see a story where some disturbed person with a gun is running around a school, office building, factory or other public area picking off people like flies and meeting little resistance. Assume you’re at work or at school and you hear shots and hear people screaming in the distance. What’s your survival plan? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/2 "2009-01-12T11:39:42Z")
Curl into a ball, sob hysterically, and possibly vomit. What? It’s a plan. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/3 "2009-01-12T11:40:37Z")
Lock the doors, call security, keep patients and coworkers as calm as possible. At least, last I checked the emergency plan for such things. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/4 "2009-01-12T11:43:09Z")
I’d try to round up people and get them to safety. If the gunman cornered me, I’d try to fight him. Not that I’d expect to survive, but you never know. ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/5 "2009-01-12T11:47:18Z")
I’d scream “Oh my god, this monstrous woman will devour us all!” And then jump out the window. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/6 "2009-01-12T12:28:27Z")
I’d be cupping **Mr. Excellent** and spewing down his back…but probably pissing my pants as well. Hey, he’s got **the plan** , I’m just following his emminent leadership etc. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/7 "2009-01-12T12:49:04Z")
head for the uni bar. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/8 "2009-01-12T12:49:33Z")
It depends… I’d call the cops on my cellphone first thing. After that, my reactions would depend, depending on the situation. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/9 "2009-01-12T13:38:49Z")
Relevant [xkcd](http://xkcd.com/337/)link ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/10 "2009-01-12T13:41:36Z")
Get the hell out of there, or at least hide in a locked room. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/11 "2009-01-12T13:46:02Z")
But most of the survivor stories I read all seem to have as common theme: hiding underneath corpses, so maybe shoot one of my co-workers and hide under their dead body. But I don’t have a gun……maybe I should poison one of them now and put him our office fridge, to ensure rapid acces to a corpse in case of CGSUS/W ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/12 "2009-01-12T14:07:36Z")
I would gather all my students into a big group then squeeze into the middle. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/13 "2009-01-12T14:11:10Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > But most of the survivor stories I read all seem to have as common theme: hiding underneath corpses, so maybe shoot one of my co-workers and hide under their dead body. > > But I don’t have a gun…..maybe I should poison one of them now and put him our office fridge, to ensure rapid acces to a corpse in case of CGSUS/W Wouldn’t work here – they clean the refrigerators on Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/14 "2009-01-12T14:11:39Z")
Lock the door. Put my students out of line of sight of the door…don’t need to worry about windows on the 3rd floor. Position myself beside the door with the fire extinguisher. Anybody who makes it through the door is getting hosed with its contents and then his head is getting caved in with the cannister. Then he is getting his own weapon emptied of its remaining ammo into his face. Then he is getting jumped on with both my feet until I am too tired to jump any more. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/15 "2009-01-12T14:21:10Z")
I would hide in the supply closet. It is obviously a supply closet so there would be no need for a crazed gunman to open the door (unless he needs envelopes or something and then I would be screwed) and there is plenty of room to crouch down in there and still have the doors completely closed. If someone else beats me to the supply closet I would crouch down under my cube and put my trash can in front of me so I am not visible. I’d like to think I would go all wrestlemania on them and beat them senseless with a chair from behind or something but unless I saw a perfect opportunity for that I am hiding and hoping to still be alive in the afternoon. I might start keeping a machete in my desk though, just in case. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/16 "2009-01-12T14:24:57Z")
Hmm. My office is at the back of the building, and I probably couldn’t get to the stairs to get out without running into the gunman. I doubt I’d be able to get out of the window, it’s not that big. The office door does have a lock on it, so I’d lock it, make sure everyone kept away from the glass panel in it, call the police, call my husband to tell him I love him, just in case, then hide under my desk. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/17 "2009-01-12T14:35:20Z")
Stage 1: Assuming I can get to the cleaning supplies…ammonia. One Big-Gulp-type cup o’ that in his face, he’s going down. Stage 2: Change underwear (that is, mine). ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/18 "2009-01-12T14:55:04Z")
If the shooter is in another part of the building, shelter in place - if in the classroom, lock the doors, turn off the lights and get the students out of the line of sight. If in my office, lock the door, turn off the light, place myself in the corner of the office that can’t be seen from my office door windows. Call the central information number or the campus security number from either place (phones in every classroom) if possible, or use a student cellphone to do same. If the shooter is near/outside my classroom, get to the doors and close them if possible - our classroom doors lock automatically with swipe locks, and the doors themselves are pretty heavy. Use a classroom table for a shield if necessary. We’ve got an extensive and often-drilled plan in place, and an announcement system that can be programmed to announce whatever kind of emergency is taking place. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/19 "2009-01-12T15:02:51Z")
My plan is to grab my scissors, stapler, mouse pad, coffee cup and a handful of thumb-tacks with which to fashion a rudimentary small caliber pistol. Then I would find defilade behind the nearest water cooler, or possibly filing cabinet. I would wait for the perp to enter my field of fire and go for a head-shot, or center mass at the very least. That’s my plan. What I would actually do was adressed by \*\*Mr. Excellent \*\*in the first reply. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900/20 "2009-01-12T15:14:33Z")
Stay low, move fast, get far away. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-crazy-gunman-starts-shooting-up-your-school-or-workplace-whats-your-plan/480900.md?page=2)