# A curious parcel arrived last night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309 "2007-10-19T16:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/221 "2007-10-26T14:03:48Z")
I’m too busy right now to look back over the thread, but my impression is, we are getting exactly one installment per day. Almost as if it were all planned out. 😉 So “Please, sir, may I have some more?” will get us nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/222 "2007-10-26T14:08:00Z")
[QUOTE=StarvingButStrong] I’m too busy right now to look back over the thread, but my impression is, we are getting exactly one installment per day. Almost as if it were all planned out. 😉 [/QUOTE] In about an hour or so. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/223 "2007-10-26T14:21:00Z")
Maybe later. Here are the timestamps for Balance’s posts in this thread so far (Eastern Time): 10-19-07 1242 10-20-07 1339 10-21-07 1315 10-22-07 1217 10-23-07 1211 10-24-07 1135 10-25-07 1114 Of course, the installments have been coming earlier each day since the second. ::waits:: –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/224 "2007-10-26T15:27:35Z")
Oh, dang, if this turns out to be a whole novel, we’ll be here for years. Even short story will take a long time… ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/225 "2007-10-26T17:34:18Z")
While out yesterday, I became convinced that I was being followed. I caught glimpses of a figure out of the corner of my eye, but whoever it was whisked out of sight when I tried to get a better look. It could be that lack of sleep is catching up to me, making me see things. Given my current circumstances, however, I decided to indulge my paranoia. I chose an elaborate route, changing directions and doubling back often. I didn’t make for home until an hour had passed with no further sign of my tail. Once I returned home, I made substantial progress despite my nagging fears. Several extensive passages seem to describe sacrificial rites, but full translation eluded me. I concentrated my efforts instead on a list of ceremonial objects, as it seems to be relatively simple. I have found detailed descriptions of several ritual knives, some jewelry, and—most interestingly—the very box in which I found this document! (I must say that having my posting times analyzed is not making me feel any less conspicuous.) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/226 "2007-10-26T17:37:24Z")
Oh dang! FlyingCow he’s already paranoid and on edge, don’t make it any worse! We might never find out anything then! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/227 "2007-10-26T18:01:20Z")
Dopers! Stop following **Balance**! I mean it. :mad: He needs to have his mind clear to work on the Aramaic messages and the provenance of the box. Note: I never realized I was an Ophite. I always thought the serpent in the garden of Eden represented knowledge, not sin. I’m not sure if that rates an oops or a yay. It seems we are settling in here for a prolonged account. I suggest ordering out for pizza, Chinese or similar. EVerybody pitch in $5. \ **Balance** –I know nothing of Aramaic, but to me this sounds like an inventory of sorts. Could it be a coded register of a find some years ago? There must be a reason for the secrecy. I do hope there is not a Swami or a sacrificial ring involved… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/228 "2007-10-26T18:14:37Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I meant a warm throw, not an Afghan! (is he cute?) [/QUOTE] So did I…? :dubious: Ah, well, we can share. If any cute Afghans come along, we can share those too. 😉 **Balance** , I may have to lift the plot of this entire thread for my NaNoWriMo novel. You don’t mind, do you? _gets notebook all ready_ (Are there any professional Aramaic scholars that can help you out? I can try looking into the Middle and Near East Studies faculty here at the university…) ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/229 "2007-10-26T19:02:47Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] So did I…? :dubious: Ah, well, we can share. If any cute Afghans come along, we can share those too. 😉 … [/QUOTE] They’re [_all_](http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=28814&rendTypeId=4) cute! I’m sure you’ll have fun together. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/230 "2007-10-26T20:01:27Z")
[QUOTE=rjk] They’re [_all_](http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=28814&rendTypeId=4) cute! I’m sure you’ll have fun together. [/QUOTE] Augh! Not that kind of Afghan. My mother had one named Khyber (trust my mother for that)–that dog was as mean as a snake. He hated me and I hated him. oh, it might have been a her. Whatever. Mean dog. [QUOTE=Kytheria] So did I…? Ah, well, we can share. If any cute Afghans come along, we can share those too. [/QUOTE] Upon reread, it’s obvious to me that you did mean a warm throw. I must have read that as him, not it. (perhaps I am losing my mind, too). Any cute Afghani human males around? How you doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/231 "2007-10-26T20:33:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh my.. what do the papers say? I want to know! "_Have you considered the advantages of owning an entire set of encyclopedias ?_ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/232 "2007-10-27T17:21:17Z")
The description of the box was most instructive. Among other things, it was described as “cunningly sealed” to “protect the sacred text”. I am not sure if this refers to the intricate lock—which is described in detail elsewhere in the passage—or if it means that the box had been made airtight somehow. I see no sign of such a seal now, but it could have broken down or been removed in the intervening years. If the box was hermetically sealed for any significant period, the documents could be older than I originally guessed. That is a minor matter, however. The passage revealed something more important, something that I had missed. There is a second compartment in the box, hidden under a false bottom. There was no need for guesswork or experimentation this time; the passage included instructions for opening it. It proved to contain another sheaf of papers, as well as providing access to the lock mechanisms and two small reservoirs of fluid that I can only assume to be poison. Much to my relief, the new papers are in Latin. My Latin is not the best, but it is far better than my Aramaic. I should have at least a rough translation soon. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/233 "2007-10-27T17:30:50Z")
I bet the new papers contain a recipe for cake. Or possibly some sort of delicious pie. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/234 "2007-10-27T17:43:49Z")
I’m betting it’s the secret spice list for KFC as distributed by JC in his early days as a fast food outlet manager. Not everything is in the bible y’know ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/235 "2007-10-27T17:52:57Z")
This would make a pretty good movie. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/236 "2007-10-27T18:10:55Z")
I only hope it’s not a laundry list ala Jane Austen. What a letdown that would be! ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/237 "2007-10-27T20:30:00Z")
Hey, wouldn’t you know it, conspiracies work on weekends. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/238 "2007-10-28T16:42:02Z")
The author’s Latin was nearly as bad as my own. It appeared at first that the Latin text was part of some sort of philosophical treatise, but it quickly deteriorated into raving. Here is a freewheeling translation of the parts that seemed most interesting: > [@](#): > > \*When a thing changes, we give it a new name. When we give a thing a new name, the thing changes. The word becomes the truth. When a boy comes of age, we call him a man, but he is not a man. He is still a boy, but as we call him a man, he changes, becoming a man in truth. If the people of a village turn upon an honest man, and call him a villain, they will drive him out. Exiled and angry, he will turn to villainy. The word becomes the truth… > > …a faster way. I have suffered in this pit, but I have learned. There are old ways here, old wisdom. I know the way now. The way of the serpent, the way to make lies into truth. Only small lies at first, slowly, slowly, as the serpent creeps into hidden places. I have found all I need. The tongue of my tormentors will not do, no. The serpent’s tongue speaks only old words. I will change their names, and they will suffer…\* There is more in that vein, rants against the author’s “tormentors”. His reluctance to refer to them by name is frustrating, but not surprising, given the importance he attaches to names. He seems to have been an exile of some sort, or held against his will under harsh conditions. Despite frequent mentions of “the serpent” in his ravings, he does not refer directly to the cult or to the box itself. The final page, however, proved to be a simple list of various things. Some of them were clear enough—soot and blood, for instance—but others forced me to consult my herbals in addition to my dictionary. It appears to be a recipe of some sort—maybe for carbon ink, given the inclusion of soot. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/239 "2007-10-28T17:01:24Z")
Ooooohhhhh! Maybe it’s a recipe for making potions, to poison his tormentors!!! _pours another cup of coffee and opens a packet of choc-chip cookies_ ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/240 "2007-10-28T18:19:04Z")
Hi all. Sorry I’m late,could some one help me carry in this keg? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309.md?page=13)