# A curious parcel arrived last night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309 "2007-10-19T16:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/41 "2007-10-19T23:19:13Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] That’s my guess as well. A letter and key from a lawyer or family member was meant to show up first, but just hasn’t arrived yet. That doesn’t explain the odd timing of the delivery, though. [/QUOTE] Or the urgency. Midnight delivery? C’mon. Why pay a premium? Why not wait until morning? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/42 "2007-10-19T23:23:39Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] That’s my guess as well. A letter and key from a lawyer or family member was meant to show up first, but just hasn’t arrived yet. That doesn’t explain the odd timing of the delivery, though. [/QUOTE] Perhaps the terms of the will required that it pass into the hands of the Legatee ( **Balance** ) ASAP. Lawyers can be awful darn _literal_, ya know, & ASAP _means_ ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/43 "2007-10-19T23:25:24Z")
All I can think of is that bit in **Con Air** when the cops, FBI and so forth are going through Malkovich’s stuff. Some young cop takes a metal strongbox with “DO NOT OPEN” marked on the top, says, “Hey, what’s this?” as he flips the lid, and ka-BOUM. Seriously, I don’t think you should open it unless you’re told explicitly what it is, who sent it and why. Do you have any ex-partners, ex-friends or estranged family members who might bear you ill? Any political affiliations that might anger someone? I know that sounds all cloak-and-dagger, but he who hesitates is sometimes saved. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/44 "2007-10-19T23:26:52Z")
It contains a message from your future self. One week from now you will receive the key in the mail. The first part of the message will contains details of the upcoming week that only you would know. That will prove that not only did the message come from yourself, it came from your future self. The second half of the message will contain your instructions. **Follow these to the letter.** In all likelihood the fate of humanity depends on it. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/45 "2007-10-19T23:30:22Z")
It contains a wallet. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/46 "2007-10-19T23:36:01Z")
It occurs to me that this would be a brilliantly evil final thread for someone planning to abruptly quit the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/47 "2007-10-19T23:41:00Z")
…and in the wallet is a piece of paper that answers “14 k of g in a f p d”. ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/48 "2007-10-19T23:42:11Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] It contains a wallet. [/QUOTE] Or maybe it contains Donald Eugene Ivens! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/49 "2007-10-19T23:56:55Z")
I don’t think we’ll be hearing from Balance anymore. RIP. ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/50 "2007-10-20T00:01:04Z")
This was a terrible thread to read in my last ten minutes at work. All weekend I’ll be sitting around with no internet wondering if maybe _everyone_’s guess is right and a dead relative who wished the OP ill sent a million of Donald Ivens’ dollars to explode in his face. After the time-traveling letter arrives with the key. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/51 "2007-10-20T00:27:02Z")
Chicago? Maybe it contain’s Cecil’s heart, you must consume it to gain his powers. And really, I just wanted to subscribe. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/52 "2007-10-20T00:34:54Z")
FTR, you can subscribe without posting. Click on Thread Tools and choose Subscribe To This Thread. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/53 "2007-10-20T00:40:50Z")
I wonder if it’s from the [Warehouse 23 Basement](http://warehouse23.com/basement/)…you know, “things THEY don’t want you to have.” > [@](#): > > ``` > If you're prepared for the consequences, you may open a random box in the Warehouse... or, if you're really brave, you can look through the dumpster at the things that were too weird even for the Secret Masters. > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/54 "2007-10-20T00:54:29Z")
Wait. Was the parcel asking questions? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/55 "2007-10-20T01:25:56Z")
Yeah, I’m among those that have to say: “Random package delivered at midnight by a random woman” = Bad News. I’d say “BOOM”, but if I were the OP, I would either have asked for, or seek now some damn documentation from the company that conveyed this thing. Tripler Yup, I’d be suspicious of someone delivering at midnight. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/56 "2007-10-20T01:28:01Z")
If someone knocks at my door at midnight, there had better be either lots of money or blood involved. I freak out if the phone rings after 11:00, let alone a knock on the door! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/57 "2007-10-20T01:50:45Z")
Didja ever see the movie _Cube_? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/58 "2007-10-20T02:01:11Z")
It could be curtains, or dishes or a double boiler… Montgomery Ward sent me a bathub and a cross cut saw. Once I got some grapefruit from Tampa; in March I got a gray mackinaw… (never mind-I’m old) I hope it’s a nice surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/59 "2007-10-20T04:03:52Z")
You guys might find [this](http://www.groupsrv.com/hobby/about405172.html) interesting. Please don’t flame them, etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309/60 "2007-10-20T04:11:10Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] It could be curtains, or dishes or a double boiler… Montgomery Ward sent me a bathub and a cross cut saw. Once I got some grapefruit from Tampa; in March I got a gray mackinaw… (never mind-I’m old) I hope it’s a nice surprise. [/QUOTE] What’s this a reference to? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-curious-parcel-arrived-last-night/423309.md?page=4)