# A dark theory about gorillagrams **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2023, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324 "2023-06-11T17:14:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/21 "2023-06-11T18:06:18Z")
Sorry about the spelling, I’ll try to do better next time. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/22 "2023-06-11T18:17:19Z")
> [@Michael\_Varn](#): > > It’s one thing to send a friend or spouse flowers at work, but don’t hire a gorrila to deliver them. I dunno, I can see the appeal. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/23 "2023-06-11T18:20:43Z")
> [@Michael\_Varn](#): > > the silverback gorilla is one of the most dangerous animals alive. Cite? In any case, its easy to protect yourself by wearing a crucifix. Very few people wearing crucifixes are attacked by silverback gorillas. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/24 "2023-06-11T18:21:36Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > > [@Michael\_Varn](#): > > > > the silverback gorilla is one of the most dangerous animals alive. > > Cite? Well, look at it! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/25 "2023-06-11T18:23:28Z")
Iam glad you cleared this up. Iam specifically talking about gorillagrams delivered to a place of employment. Of course, in any other adult setting that you just listed, an adult sending another adult a gorillagram is obviously a prank or a joke, all in good fun. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/26 "2023-06-11T18:27:17Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Cite? > > In any case, its easy to protect yourself by wearing a crucifix. Very few people wearing crucifixes are attacked by silverback gorillas. That’s vampires. Unless you’ve mistaken silver bullets for silverback gorillas and then we’re talking 'bout werewolves. Gorillas are normally rather docile, but if they feel threatened they can literally rip your head off. I mean literally literally. I’m not positive about weregorillas but I imagine the change might leave them in a bad mood initially so I wouldn’t mess with one. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/27 "2023-06-11T18:29:01Z")
Well, I suppose an alternative way to protect yourself is to not wear a crucifix. Very few people not wearing crucifixes are attacked by silverback gorillas. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/28 "2023-06-11T18:31:14Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Gorillas are normally rather docile, but if they feel threatened they can literally rip your head off. Aren’t you thinking about Wookies? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/29 "2023-06-11T18:38:01Z")
Here is a plausable stalking scenario: Let’s say you are in debt and have been dodging your creditors. Now everybody knows that delinquent borrowers always claim that a representative from a collection agency suddenly shows up at their workplace to rattle their cage. A very creative scare tactic would be for the collection agency to send you a gorillagram! Of course it’s not a gift but a message. A “friendly reminder” that you owe money. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/30 "2023-06-11T18:42:54Z")
At the very least more intimidating than sending you [Teddy Grahams](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Teddy-Grahams-Honey-Graham-Snacks-10-oz/10292090). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/31 "2023-06-11T18:46:53Z")
I kinda recall Wookiees can rip a man’s arm out of the socket. I suppose a head is not that much more difficult and Wookiees are pretty big. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/32 "2023-06-11T18:47:35Z")
As with others, my only memory of this as a thing was decades ago. And it wasn’t widespread at all. I never saw one. It’s a weird thing to obsess about. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/33 "2023-06-11T18:57:56Z")
Yes, talk to a zoologist. I gaurantee you that any species of bear would not stand a chance in a fight with a silverback gorrila! And this includes all other dangerous land animals such as the big cats, bison, rhinos, and hippos just to name a few. The only animal that is stronger than a silverback is an elephant, but elephants simply do not have the same mobility as a silverback gorilla. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/34 "2023-06-11T18:59:10Z")
How about 3 honeybadgers, none of which care? ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/35 "2023-06-11T18:59:28Z")
I’d bet on the honeybadgers. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/36 "2023-06-11T19:02:33Z")
It wouldn’t take 3 of them. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/37 "2023-06-11T19:52:45Z")
Here is another possible gorillagram stalking scenario at the workplace: Let’s say you are a school teacher, and you have a class of let’s say 30 students. The teacher is in the middle of a lecture when there is a knock on the door. The door opens, but the last thing the teacher expects to see is a dude in a gorilla suit. The gorilla carries out the transaction, and the kids are laughing their heads off. So the teacher is not only startled, but embarased. The teacher thinks, “Why is there someone in a gorilla suit standing next to me and interupting my class?” Of course the teacher will not answer when all of the kids ask why there was a gorrila in the classroom. Who does this? It can’t be the teachers spouse. It can’t be the teachers friend or another family member. Could it be a coworker or even the principal who is perhaps not on the best terms with the teacher, and sends the gorillagram as some form of retaliation? Or mabey whoever ordered the gorillagram is in no way affiliated with the school. The problem here is there is a time and a place for adults to play jokes on other adults, and this setting is not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/38 "2023-06-11T20:09:26Z")
A guy in a gorilla costume, or any other costume, clothing, or entirely naked would not be let into a school if they could not be identified as a parent of a child there or a member of the staff, or a visitor there for a pre-approved reason. Probably even then the naked guy wouldn’t be let in. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Varn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michael_varn/32/14411_2.png) [@Michael\_Varn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Varn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/39 "2023-06-11T20:20:17Z")
I agree, there is no way a person in a gorrila suit would be able to just walk into a school these days, but the current issue about school shootings and school security were not part of the public consciousness when I was in school. I assume if gorillagrams still happen, especially at work places, there is a whole lot of vetting that has to take place before anybody wearing a costume that conceals one’s face can get anywhere near an employee, let alone children. Another thing, at least in my day, the gorillagram was a real company like florists who deliver flowers. So when a gorilla enters the school, they obviously had to check in at the main office to identify themselves, and that they have a message for a particular teacher, and then they are waved through. So technically, the gorilla is there legitimately, and it’s not about the person in the costume, it’s about the message, and who sent it. ---
**Author:** ![TheCuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thecuse/32/2854_2.png) [@TheCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheCuse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2023, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324/40 "2023-06-11T20:38:03Z")
I never saw such a thing in person as a kid. Just on YouTube or something nowadays. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-dark-theory-about-gorillagrams/985324.md?page=3)