# A demon gives you the ability to cure cancer... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2016, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719 "2016-04-20T13:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/21 "2016-04-20T16:07:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Wasn’t there a Spider Robinson story where Aids(or an Aids-like disease) was cured through sexual transmission? In Norman Spinrad’s short story _[Carcinoma Angels](http://hermiene.net/short-stories/carcinoma_angels.html)_ the hero, Harrison Wintergreen, invents a virus that cures syphilis that is spread thru sexual contact (and is a mild aphrodisiac). Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/22 "2016-04-20T16:19:43Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Must there be orgasm achieved by either pitcher or catcher? Nope. As noted above, the demon set things up so that you have to actively “go at it” for an indeterminate period of time and then you will intuitively know that the cure has been effected, at which time you may stop. Demons being demons, one must assume that the time will vary from one patient to another. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/23 "2016-04-20T16:23:13Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I begin to see why it’s a demon offering up this gift. The use of it may wreck more suffering than its absence ever did. Quite so. Demons always offer gifts that are supposed to bring suffering and unhappiness. I was curious to see how (or if) Dopers would find a way to weasel around the Demons obvious intent and make the most of this gift. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/24 "2016-04-20T18:21:45Z")
“Isn’t your husband a little old to believe in genies?” ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/25 "2016-04-20T18:41:58Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > or AIDS or any one disease of your choice. Of course, there is a catch. You can work your curative magic only by having unprotected anal sex with the afflicted person. How do you make use of your new ability? Do you make use of it? That’s just crazy. “Dad, about your cancer. I’ve got good news and bad news.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/26 "2016-04-20T19:07:29Z")
I’m reminded of this [webcomic](http://www.superstupor.com/sust11262007.shtml). ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/27 "2016-04-20T19:49:55Z")
The rule ‘never trust a demon’ comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/28 "2016-04-20T20:16:10Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > The use of it may wreck more suffering than its absence ever did. The best use of this gift would require some careful thought, but I can’t see why its presence would have to cause more suffering than its absence. At an absolute minimum, I could immunize/cure my spouse, even if I didn’t use my gift to help anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/29 "2016-04-20T20:23:28Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > The best use of this gift would require some careful thought, but I can’t see why its presence would have to cause more suffering than its absence. At an absolute minimum, I could immunize/cure my spouse, even if I didn’t use my gift to help anyone else. That would assume you can watch other people die who you know, unequivocally, you could have saved without feeling guilty about it. Will that guilt have an impact on your relationship with your spouse? As the bodycount grows, will you grow calloused enough not to care at all? How will that change your relationship with your spouse? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/30 "2016-04-20T20:55:04Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > That would assume you can watch other people die who you know, unequivocally, you could have saved without feeling guilty about it. Will that guilt have an impact on your relationship with your spouse? As the bodycount grows, will you grow calloused enough not to care at all? How will that change your relationship with your spouse? There are any number of obscenely wealthy people who manage to get through life without much guilt, despite the knowledge that they could have used their wealth to save untold lives. So apparently it’s possible. As I noted upthread, yes, it would be necessary to find a way to live that balances my own interests with the needs of others - including the needs of my spouse. FWIW, a few years ago I looked into signing up to be a potential bone marrow donor. However, my wife decided she was uncomfortable with the risks I would face during the donation procedure (assuming I ever got called upon to donate), so I abstained. It’s entirely possible that someone is now dead whom I could have saved; it would have been nice to know that I had saved someone, but I’ll be OK. Also FWIW, some of the people reading this thread could save one life by donating a kidney. They (and I) will have to live with the thought that someone out there may die because of their refusal to share their gift (of a spare kidney). ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/31 "2016-04-20T21:01:50Z")
Yes, all that is completely true. The difference is that, in this case, you can save lots of people for sure. Did you choose cancer? Go down to the oncology ward at any hospital and know that, for sure, it was possible for you to save every single one of those people. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/32 "2016-04-21T02:23:16Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Yes, all that is completely true. The difference is that, in this case, you can save lots of people for sure. Did you choose cancer? Go down to the oncology ward at any hospital and know that, for sure, it was possible for you to save every single one of those people. FFS, I don’t have _that_ much stamina. My capacity for lifesaving really is limited. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/33 "2016-04-21T04:21:09Z")
From OP’s hypothesis: > [@Scumpup](#): > > . . . unprotected . . . Are we allowed lube? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/34 "2016-04-21T05:00:36Z")
And strap-ons? ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/35 "2016-04-21T05:41:10Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > And strap-ons? Yeah, because Hemorrhoids For The Sake of having The Children is much easier to swallow than for a stranger. All balloons eventually pop. Butt if I could strap on to save a life… I could do it. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/36 "2016-04-21T12:04:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Yes, all that is completely true. The difference is that, in this case, you can save lots of people for sure. Did you choose cancer? Go down to the oncology ward at any hospital and know that, for sure, it was possible for you to save every single one of those people. I’m starting to think that _you_ are the demon. 😃 You’re working hard to sell the angst, but I’m just not feeling it. The abstraction of your scenario is “you can save lives, but there’s a price to be paid,” but that’s a scenario all of us already face every day. I could save more lives if I donated thousands of dollars to third-world charities every year instead of blowing it on motorcycles, vacations, and consumer electronics. I already donate blood every 8 weeks, which is as often as it’s officially allowed. If I were allowed to donate more often I could save more lives at the expense of suffering from chronic anemia, but I’m OK with not going that far. So, yeah…”saving every life I possibly can while destroying my own?” I’m OK with not going there. I’ll give a little, but I’m not giving up everything. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/37 "2016-04-21T13:37:07Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I’m starting to think that _you_ are the demon. 😃 Thanks, but I’m still just a trainee. Clearly, you aren’t an ideal recipient for this gift. There are others here at The Straight Dope who I am confident would be made miserable by it. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/38 "2016-04-21T14:37:33Z")
What about childhood leukemia? Would you rape a 10 year old to save her life? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2016, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/39 "2016-04-21T15:03:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Clearly, you aren’t an ideal recipient for this gift. Makes me think of [this classic Far Side cartoon.](https://www.cardcow.com/images/set504/card00062_fr.jpg) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719/40 "2016-04-23T01:31:08Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > or AIDS or any one disease of your choice. Of course, there is a catch. You can work your curative magic only by having unprotected anal sex with the afflicted person. How do you make use of your new ability? Do you make use of it? To quote an old joke… “Doctor says you gonna die.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-demon-gives-you-the-ability-to-cure-cancer/752719.md?page=3)